Whoosh! Visit


By Laura Sue Dean
August 26, 1997


HOLA, NGR FANS! I AM SO EXCITED to bring you NGR #5, as it is CHOCK-FULL of SPECTACULARLY EXCITING and PARTICULARLY ENGROSSING juicy bits...I would like to take this moment of repose to give a special tip o'the sequined top-hat to all my dedicated, faithful snitches and stoolies: I could never get this vicious without your help!


WHERE'S THE VIDEO? Release of the HERC & XENA animated movie has been delayed (What? Do I hear the strains of a collective sigh?). It was originally scheduled to be released on October 14th, but now has been changed to Jan 6th. Yes!!! That's 1998, cowboys and cowgirls! The reason given was *technical problems*, but I was told the other day that it was not receiving enough of those preorders that Universal had anticipated. So who knows what the real reason is? Maybe Herc wanted his chin to be drawn a little longer? That angular look is just **so** flattering.

WHERE'S THE POSTER? (SIGH) Laura Sue just got off the phone with David Hamaker of Western Graphics Corporation (P.O.Box 22310, Eugene, OR 97402-0417). He SAYS that they had picked a wonderful two-shot of Xena and Gabby from the transparencies that MCA/Universal sent them, but when WGC told them of their choice, the answer back was... OOPS! Those weren't approved for publication! SO, the Western Graphics story is... They probably WON'T have a poster ready for the October Creation conventions coming up. (I am checking further in to this story, because the fans have gotten bad information from WGC before about these posters...keep watching this space for the REAL DEAL about merchandise!) The best information I could get about the American Library Association's "Project:READ" Gabrielle poster is that it will be available for purchase in their next catalogue, to appear in October/November 1997.

GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER? Guess who's coming to dinner at the White House in September! Sidney Poitier? YOU WISH! Move over Sid, the guests of honor scheduled to appear at WarriorCon are about to arrive. It appears that one of the WC staff is a diplomat and has been working out the details for a *special* White House tour. Also in the works -- an evening at the DC Planet Hollywood with donations of XWP memorabilia from the honored guests which will be open to the public.

I AM TREADING ON GOSSIP TERRITORY HERE, but what the hey! This is MY column and I can hip hop however I want. White House diplomats? Texan gubernatorial assistants? Is there a secret Xena TRILATERAL COMMISSION at work here? There seems to be Xenites who have the ear to Governors and Presidents and other potentates. I also heard rumors of Microsoft millionaires (Bill????) and professionals who reel it in in the six figures. We have the makings of a political-economic power base here the likes the world has never seen! And it makes me wonder, are these the people financing WarriorCon???????

DON'T MISS THE SEASON PREMIERE OF HERCULES no matter what they show! Some HERC campers say Two Men and a Baby will open the season (where Herc gets to have a baby just like Gabrielle does...hey I wonder if that means that Sorbo has gotten a 'Whatever XWP gets HTLJ gets' clause. Leonard Nimoy got one in his that said whatever William Shatner got, he got. Maybe when Sorbo found out Gabrielle was getting a kid, he decided, heck, Hercules should have one too!) and others say Stranger in a Strange Land. Kind of like the "When the heck are they showing the Gabrielle's child trilogy" on XWP (DUH, is it February '98 or October '97?). These people really need to get a daytimer or something. I have one and I never have these problems!

HERCULES-XENA ROLE-PLAYING GAME. I guess sitting around and fantasizing about being Xena and Gabrielle isn't enough. WE NEED RECREATIONAL AIDS! I found out that WEST END GAMES have in place the licensing agreement for a full line of figures (25mm scale) to "enhance" a role playing game. So, we may be saying good-bye to the 5 and 6 inch dollies, but we'll eventually be getting (roughly) 1 inch metal replicas of Xena, Herc, Gabby, Iolaus, Sal, Autolycus, Aphrodite, Callisto, and just about everybody else eventually, and maybe even the valet who parks all the producers cars as they visit the bank....assuming the game "sells" well.

WEB WEIRDNESS. Holy out of control, Batman! Check out http://www.mediadome.com/Webisodes/Xena/index.html and see if you can figure out what the heck they are talking about! Apparently they are going to release an on-line 3-D "diversion" about XWP. The site boasts a preview of the game which uses RealVideo technology. The game remembered to include Gabrielle, so I have suspicions that this might not be strongly associated with the powers that be...

JUST WANT TO KEEP EVERYONE UPDATED. I've just gotten a very strong nibble from the GREASE office about merchadise! We are talking shirt, poster, Playbill and even a CD!!!! Can you feel **my** excitement?

AMAZON? NO, YOU? More details on the upcoming show REN PICS is doing for Universal. The story line is basically a modern girl (can you say 'Find me a Buffy- type!'?) finds herself transported back among the Amazons (don't you just hate it when that happens! Especially right before the Prom?). Rob Tapert co-wrote the script and Michael Hurst is going to direct. Hmmmm. I just had a brilliant idea! Could someone remind TPTB that Laura Sue Dean, the Actress, would be PERFECT for the lead...hello? Hello?

BECAUSE I AM TOO BUSY WORKING ON MY NAILS RIGHT NOW, I am going to save us all a lot of time and just reprint the press release about AMAZON HIGH:

'Amazon' to ride on 'Xena's' success
by David Walstad from Studio City, Calif
(reprinted without permission, just in case you think I wield too much power)

Determined to milk the success of it's top-rated syndicated hours "Xena: Warrior Princess" and "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys" Universal has commissioned a two-hour pilot movie - "Amazon High" - that begins filming in New Zealand, home base of the first two on Sept.15.

"A 17-year old high school girl (named Cyane) in 1998 is transported back to the early days of the Amazons, 4,000 B.C. "says R.J. Stewart who co-wrote the script with fellow "Xena" writer producer's Rob Tapert and Liz Friedman.

Speaking from "Xena's" studios city offices on Wednesday, Stewart notes casting gets underway next week. In addition to Cyane the three other regulars are female warriors age 17, 28, and 30. Keeping it in the family Michael Hurst {Iolaus on Hercules) who has directed episodes of both "Hercules" and "Xena" will direct, supported by some of the hiatus-idled "Xena" crew. "There's interest right now," says an enthusiastic Stewart. "We will be selling it very, very soon."

"Amazon High's" potential launch date and episode length have yet to be determined. Commenting on the genesis and format, he says " What we learned with 'Xena' is having a female lead can be very exciting." "Here we have a cheerleader in the midst of warrior women," says Stewart. In the pilot episode, Stewart says, their men have been wiped out, and the females are on a mission of revenge for them getting killed. "It's a fish out of water concept, yet she (Cyane) fits in. The warrior women and Cyane are going too be battlers of good." Stewart even sees a little of modern gender politics in the "pre-historic" show "It's taking a traditional male world and making it female. Xena is like Clint Eastwood, but she's female. They're like the Texas Rangers, the Three Musketeers, but they're female," he says.


SLIGHTLY OT, BUT NOT MUCH. Say, there was an interesting quote in the paper a day or so ago in connection with a study of Internet addiction:

"Net addicts (the researcher) said, suffer from low self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy or frequent disapproval from others and thus *create a secret identity or persona.* This can be dangerous because unleashing repressed aspects of one's personality can be like letting the genie out of the bottle."


Of course, Laura Sue Dean rarely approves of secret identities or secret personas, unless they're created specifically for a part by a method actor...Then, it's like...practically mandatory! (Stanislavsky RULES)...No matter how stupid-sounding or immature such an identity may seem to be!

IT APPEARS, AND I AM IN THE PROCESS of getting confirmation on this, that the Detroit con at the end of August was only filled to half capacity.

AND SINCE WE ARE ALREADY DISHING ABOUT THE DETROIT CON, seems like some Detroiters were miffed at what seemed to have been Hudson Leick admitting to a bit of wild partying at those high-paying "loyal" fans' expense! Turns out that her flight to Detroit was delayed several hours due to bad weather. When she got to Detroit later than expected, the rental car agencies had all shut for the night (you know, that happened to me in Minneapolis one year...I cannot decide whether being trapped at 3:30am without a rental is worse in Detroit or Minneapolis. This is worse than counting angels on a pin head! Especially when the pin head works for a car rental agency!) and she was stuck again for another hour and a half waiting for transportation. The reason she was "out until 5AM" had nothing to do with partying -- she didn't get to her hotel until 5am because she was TRAPPED IN THE TRAVEL TWILIGHT ZONE.

MORE ABOUT LU. Fashion critics have taken to talking about the Flawless One's Publicity attire. Seems like most folks think that Lu's past outfits were, um... less than stellar. Fashion advisers guess that she's getting some help from a "dresser" these days, but offer said dresser some sage advice: Lucy has such dynamic power that she looks uncomfortable in "fluffy" and "dressy" dresses. Put her in either "upscale casual" or "classic, tailored suits with silk shirts, (like the 'Something So Right' cameo) but watch the colors!" Huh. Everyone's a critic. "The *other* shirt you didn't like?"

IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET BUT I have heard this from so many people that it is NOT FUNNY, Sharon Delaney WAS in Lucy's dressing room during the last Tonight Show appearance where it appeared that a rather rude Jay Leno took advantage of the object of our desire by bringing up the annoying "Red Wings incident"...so please take this woman SERIOUSLY!!!!

Sharon posted on the lists the following observations and it is so important that I am repeating it in its entirety:

"This is the first time Lucy's been in this country and this was the first interview show she's done since the Red Wings incident. It was intentional for it to get dealt with at this time. Lucy was okay with it, in fact she handled it beautifully, and came off looking great. Better to have handled it with someone like Jay, who she's very comfortable with, and be able to start Grease with a reasonably clean slate."


SPEAKING OF FASHION: LAURA SUE HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT that Gabrielle's season 3 costume change was totally imperceptible to 99.9% of the 8 million regular weekly viewers of the show. It was sort of like a "leaner, meaner" BGSB; a sports-bra with small leather straps instead of the woven hemp ones she wore in season two...and it was shorter...and browner...can you say bizarre...I mean, why would they go to all the trouble of changing a wardrobe item if they were only going to make imperceptible changes? Naw....I am sure it was just the cheap caviar I had at the last wrap party I crashed. (Some performance "art" piece a producer friend got roped into.)

WHEN WILL MATERNAL INSTINCTS PLAY? Some say February, others say October. Ho hum. And of course we have RJ Stewart's intimations that it would be November in his June WHOOSH interview! Are those cuties at RP playing games with us again? First they say MATERNAL INSTINCT is for the November sweeps and now it is for the February Sweeps, and now others sources are saying it will start after THE FURIES .....then it's Amazon High, then Amazon Nation, and now Amazon High again. And Young Hercules? Duh, WHO'S HE? NEVER HEARD OF THE GUY. These people must buy their caviar at the same place where my producer friend buys his!


NOTE FROM LSD: The following letter brought a big smile and tears to the eyes of my editor. She gives the following "Two Thumbs up!" and wants to start giving away "Best Letter of the Week" awards. This one gets the nod for this edition. Let's see my reaction to being buttered up!

Dear Laura Sue:

Being an attractive and talented actress yourself, I hope you can answer a question I've wondered about for a long time - How do the girls keep from getting tan lines with all the outdoor shooting they do? Both have very fair skin, and any hint of sun-bronzed skin on their arms and legs would be very apparent. And wouldn't they want even a slight tan because their characters spend most of their time outdoors?

Thanks, and I really love your column!


Dear MK:

Thanks for the butter, babe -- it's delish! I read somewhere that Lucy gets a "bronzed look" from the application of a heavy MAKE-UP tan every day before shooting...Could this be why Lucy's skin stays so fair? At the Burbank Convention it was so translucent it practically glowed! (And, you're correct; I do happen to have a bit of 'hands on' about this process, I've used it before -- while filming a certain SPORTS QUENCHER commercial. ACK! My hair!) ALSO: It's a fact -- the talented cast of BAYWATCH sport sponged-on tans as well. One of my best friends won a bit part and got rescued by Mr. Hasselhoff himself!

Renee has a slightly different method to keep from getting tan lines; her momma steadfastly refuses to let the sun's harmful rays beat down on her precious little girl.

Laura Sue

Hey Laura Sue Dean!

Love your column...you are most brilliant and wise... anyways updates from the Detroit Con with Hudson, Ted, and Joe... Well looks like the family of Joxer is closer than we thought, na evil twin brother rears his head in that episode directed by Bruce Campbell [KING OF THIEVES]. Look for a possible date for Joxer and Gabby, but sorry to attachments, as Ted says "I think they (the fans) want Gabby with a Perdicus type"...Callisto is a goddess in the third season, she may have gotten some help from Joxer to escape the lava flow... The musical episode is being scored [BITTER SUITE]... Joe [DoLuca] says it is going to be great! And we all know the talent of that man... As for more Hudson, we shall see she is taking her projects as they come, picking and choosing I suppose since XWP shot her star into the skies... Gabby is back with the Amazons, Xena is dealing with her dark side and Joxer never gains any skill as a warrior although the bell for him may ring again... Cheers And keep writing Laura Sue!


Dear LadySpice:

Thanks for the update. I am thankful for all these extra eyes and ears.

Dear Laura Sue:

[FYI: this is in response to a letter from "Linda Richman" that ran in NGR #04].

The Pleasure Chest is not a lesbian run sex shop. I live down the street and shop there. If she'd looked at the stuff in there, it's more for gay males than anyone else. Some of the dildos I would not want anywhere near my body.


A WeHo resident

Dear WeHo,

Thanks for the info. I have a feeling we could have lived without ALL that detail, but thanks for sharing anyway.


To: LauraSueD

Hello, I'm new at this internet stuff and I just wanted to talk with someone from Hollywood and ask what it's like there. I found your AOL profile under people in Hollywood (just so you don't think I'm one of those internet psycho-stalker types), and I wrote you because I liked your quote, it may sound crazy, but sometimes I would think the same thing...If I was ever to be in any position to ever become famous in the first place sigh!)...Anyway...don't think I'm one of those people on the internet who will try to get fresh online with you (not only 'cause its lame, but because I'm not like that), I was just wondering what it was like to be someone in Hollywood....I was also wondering if you could help me with something, even though it's a really big long shot...I heard there was a woman with her real initials -- T.S. who's doing a film in England now, I don't want to know what the film is or anything (I'm not a reporter of any kind), I was just wondering if you knew who it was. Well, from the looks of it, I just wrote an essay! If you want to, or when you have time, could you write back? I'd appreciate it. Thanks and good luck with whatever you decide to do!!


Dear jomama:

Thank you so much for your lovely note. Laura Sue just ADORES getting unsolicited mail from men she doesn't know....no, really! Not to mention the "Instant Messages" Laura Sue gets every time she logs on to check her fan mail -- from the apparent PLETHORA of "Hollywood Producers" on AOL that "just want to get to know me better." HA! Laura Sue may be from Kansas but she didn't just fall off the turnip truck! She knows that they don't just want to "kiss my feet!" (and to the other guy who added this HILARIOUS quote to his "I'm not out to stalk you" letter: "Welcome to Hollywood, Laura Sue, btw...I don't think you're in KANSAS anymore!" How pathetic is THAT?!?)

Anyways, I digress. Jomama, please don't think that I am putting YOU in that "Stalker" category, as your letter states quite plainly that you ARE NOT like that. I believe you, I really really do. Okay. To take a stab at your question...Hollywood is a tough, tough, town. And to survive you must learn to be your own best friend. AND get a gooood agent! Now. The T.S. mystery...hmmm T.S...Talia Shire is doing a movie? How old is she now, 60? No. No woman in Hollywood that old gets a picture deal in Europe...Tina Youthers? No, that's a Y, not an S....Tom Simpson? No, the letter states specifically that it's AN ACTRESS. EUREKA! I think I got it! Tina Sinatra!!!!!! No... TABITHA SOREN! Possible, but she's a journalist SLASH actress, unlike Laura Sue, who is an actress SLASH journalist... A-HA! I got it....Tori Spelling!!! Oh MY GAWD! This must mean...

TORI SPELLING READS NGR! and is trying to get CHEAP publicity for her career! It is sad when folks with rich daddies like Tori Spelling have to result to such cheap avenues of publicity. Tori, Tori, Tori, please get a better agent and better business manager. We starlets are only as good as the daily advice we get.


If you HAVE any good dish, write me. Need a rumor confirmed? I'm your gal! Just drop Laura Sue a line!

I can't print every letter, but I'll do my best to answer your questions... and report those late-breaking XWP stories!

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