Whoosh! Check out the Xena FAQ!


By Laura Sue Dean
September 28, 1997


OOOOOOHHHHHHHH CAN'T YOU JUST FEEEEEL IT? The NEW Season of XWP is right around the corner!!! As we in The Business know, the third season is the one where really great shows hit their stride. And, we all know, XWP is a REALLY GREAT SHOW! From what I've heard from my snitches, the season opener (The Furies) promises to be a real roller-coaster ride! (just like the last-minute script changes!)

I WILL BE KEEPING A CLOSE WATCH ON the sidekick story this season. TPTB have hinted that this is the year Gabby will be put through the ringer and back again -- so look out for a new section of NGR which will be called "GABRIELLE 3 -- HELL SEASON" (just call it my homage to the Raimi/Tapert touch!)

OH MY GOD! I ALMOST FORGOT THE RIFT. Your faithful reporter, Laura Sue will also report on the ups and downs of our favorite friendship, which (imho) is what makes this show so totally AWESOME!

SO, BUCKLE YOUR SEATBELTS, adjust your rear-view mirrors and hang on tight! My sporty red Jeep has been known to take the corner at high speed!


IT'S GOTTA GOOD BEAT, AND YOU CAN DANCE TO IT: Heard from Brian Giorgi, National Director of Sales regarding the second volumes of the HERCULES and XENA SOUNDTRACKS: The TENTATIVE (ooh we LOVE that word in XWP merchandising, don't we?) RELEASE DATE is 11/04/97. So, start harranging the record stores, kiddies!

CHAKRAM? WHAT CHAKRAM?: Creation received the first sample packaging for their authentic, replica chakram but sent it back for changes. (Tentative? Did someone say TENATIVE?) For up-to-the-minute replica chakram news, keep your browser pointed at www.primenet.com/~outback/ OR Creation's home page.

ANIMATED MOVIE? WHAT ANIMATED MOVIE? Rumors persist about the "quality" of animation in the HERC/XENA home video release. Why not decide for yourself? Universal New Media has opened a TOTALLY COOL website for kids 8-12 called SPLAM. My nieces and nephews hang there all the time, not to mention my agent, the signator of my last paycheck, and my cable guy! Check out the HERC/XENA section for Video Clips of the Animated Movie (TENTATIVE release date? Sometime in January 1998!) and LUCY SINGING! In addition there's some fun features (for the kids and those out of work Hollywood professionals), like a Trivia game and an ASK XENA advice column. (Hmm, sounds familiar...better check with my CyberLawyer(tm) about that!) Anyway, I'm glad it's there, because it keeps my nieces and nephews and agent out of my makeup drawer when they visit.

NOTE TO SELF: "Dear Laura Sue, when you finally get your big break and are a HUGE star, remember this! Do not, repeat, DO NOT allow yourself to be interviewed by Howard Stern!" It was totally "hein" the way he treated Lucy! I mean, he asked her way-gross questions and treated her like a tramp, which is, as we know NOT AT ALL what she is -- Lucy is a REAL class act! Howard, on the other hand... well, all I gotta say is, just WASH that other hand if it comes anywhere near him!


GAD-ABOUT, GAD-ABOUT, GAD-ABOUT ALL! What WHOOSH! correspondent was seen chatting away with Kevin Smith at WarriorCon? The dreamy (dreamy? bret? Is there something you want to tell us?) God of War and Herculean Half-Brother is seen on the left chatting with WHOOSH! "Token Guy" about interviews past, present and future. Seems WarriorCon was a "gold-mine" for WHOOSH! Big Kahuna and Cub reporters alike! Can't wait to read the Dish!!!


Bret and his dreamy god of war!

THE VERY NEXT WEEKEND, same Gab-about correspondent was seen on the arm of a professional ballerina at the September 21 performance of RIVERDANCE at the Wang Center in Boston. Looks like this guy is on the FAST TRACK to the FAST LANE! See what a job at WHOOSH can do for YOUR social life?

OOOH TO BE A FLY ON THE WALL. I happened to catch CNN HEADLINE NEWS the other day at 2pm. As they went to commercial, the announcer did a promo for the upcoming ENTERTAINMENT segment by saying "XENA'S Hercules hits the BIG screen, more later in HEADLINE NEWS ENTERTAINMENT." (While he is reading the line, the blue screen is showing scenes from Kevin's movie KULL.) Based on what I've heard of Mr. Sorbo's jealousy factor, I'm sure the screaming was heard all the way to Vancouver!

ALL THE WAY IN 3??? Regular NGR readers remember that Ted Raimi was signed for 11 episodes (half the season!) How close did Joxer come as being a *regular* for Season 3? The anti-Joxer fans insist on seeing HALF a season as season Half-FULL of Joxer...Being the cock-eyed optimist that I, (Laura Sue Dean, the ACTRESS) am I prefer to see it as Half-EMPTY!! I mean, hey -- how would you like to see a WHOLE season of Joxer eps? (shudder)

TAKE MY ADVICE, PLEASE! As reported (and advised) in the very first NGR, a certain XenaFANDOM power couple have taken the plunge! The smart young lad took the hint and gave his lady love an engagement ring inside a coffee cup! (What a smart man! Now she not only has a diamond ring, but something to drink coffee out of!!!!) Being a smart gal herself, the lady said YES to the coffee cup and to the ring as well (heck, it was there after)! Congratulations to the happy couple! (BTW, I look SMASHING in peach satin!)


ROC BUST'A-MOVES!!!!!! Did the chemistry between Renee O'Connor and Chris "what's his name" on VIBE seem a little too "familiar" to you? I think he'd fallen prey to Renee's well-known Southern CHARMS. It really looked to me like he had a little crush on her, but can you blame him? (If you taped it, re-watch it and see if I'm right!) Die-Hard (and from now on, new-found ROC) Fans were just happy to FINALLY see their girl on national television -- being TRES KEWL while flipping, dancing, and rapping. She did a wonderful job, and now we look foward to LIVE! ON REGIS and KATHIE LEE October 6th.

SO, THAT'S HOW THEY GOT ALL THOSE STARS TO APPEAR!!!! What formerly-lonely powerful hollywood producer has been seen around town with a new gal-pal!?!?! Not only is she a REAL Gal-Pal (talk about your PUPPY EPISODES!) but a prominant XWP fan advocate! And I thought it was all about MONEY! Guess I was wrong!



I noticed on the episode guide spoiler for The Furies it was mentioned that there was a script of The Furies circulating in fan circles. Do you know where I can get a copy?


"Looking for Script"


Dear Looking for Script:

Oooo, now we are getting into the real nitty gritty -- the secret world of the XENA BLACK MARKET! A rule of thumb when you enter this dark, dank film noir-ish habitat is, if you have to *ask* where to find it, you are out of the loop. And... if you are are out of the loop, you just don't *see* much....black market Xena business. Capiche?


Laura Sue:

I just watched again FOR HIM THE BELL TOLLS, COMEDY OF EROS, and GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN. All three have Joxer in them. I found him to be QUITE DELIGHTFUL in these episodes. I just read that you want Salmoneous over Joxer? OHHHHH No NO NO NO NO NO NONONONONONONO. Salmoneous works out well in Hercules but definitely NOT in Xena. And Joxer works out well in Xena but definitely NOT in Hercules.

I invite you to review these episodes - they are absolutely delightful!



Dear __TED and/or ROB__:

Thank you sooooo much for YOUR COMMENTS ABOUT JOXER vs SALMONEOUS and your interest in NGR! It's always RAD to hear from you guys.

Take care, and ALWAYS show your "GOOD SIDE!"

Laura Sue Dean

Laura Sue:

Kevin Sorbo's "David Hasselhoff" comments as related in your item from the 9/9/97 issue of NGR [ed. note: NGR #6] is just the latest bad behavior from him regarding XENA and Lucy Lawless. Have you ever attempted to read a transcript of an online chat [when] they've appeared together? Sorbo butts in, answers questions intended for Lucy, and generally makes an ass of himself.

He's also been known to remark that XWP is more popular than HTLJ simply because of Xena's lesbian following. Can you say, "threatened?"

If I were Rob Tapert I'd read Sorbo the riot act. First of all, no one really needs Sorbo creating bad blood with Lucy. Second, unlike LL, Sorbo is completely dispensible. Tapert could fire Sorbo and replace him with the guy who plays Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman's hubby, or even that poor, newly unemployed Tarzan guy, and no one would notice there's a different Generic Long-Haired Hunk playing the lead.

Keep up the good work, Laura Sue.

A Sorbo Fan-NOT!


Dear "NOT!"

Your post gives me a lot to think about, WHICH IS VERY HARD for LSD, kids!

Acting is a tough business, really tough. Maybe Kevin's agent should tell him what my first agent (Stani) taught me about how to treat the people you work with. He said: "Be Nice to people on the way up, cause you have to see them *again* on the way down!"

Laura Sue Dean

Hi, how are you. I really enjoy your show, but I heard that your character will soon die. Is that true?



Dear Trompee:

??? NO! I did NOT hear that! (pssssst! Exactly what DID you hear?? And did it REALLY have something to do with me? I am currently showless, you know. Perhaps you have me mixed up with someone else? Or unless you have informaton that RP has taken out a contract on me. I doubt that, they are pretty good sports....I hope. Well, I guess that editor-in-chief of WHOOSH would be more vicious than anything RP could muster, but what a scary letter, Trompee.)

Seriously, everyone knows that "Dead don't mean DEAD" with anything associated with the Xenaverse. Keep watching and all will be revealed!


Dear Laura Sue:

I just wanted to let you know how much I love your column. It's very entertaining, and informative. How do you get all your information? How did you get into the gossip biz? Hey, maybe you could get a spot on E! as part of the gossip show. While we are on the subject, what's up with the "Peace, Love and Gossip" thing Julie Brown does at the end of the show? Well, anyway, keep up the good work. Your column rocks, and that picture of you at the top of the page is HOT! Have you ever modeled, 'cause if you haven't you should really consider it.



Dear Maui:

Gee, thanks for the compliments! I don't know what is up with Julie Brown, except "wubba wubba wubba, my career's in trubba trubba trubba." As for where I get my scoops! heehee. Well, you know that Tori is one of my best friends, right? Well, she "gets around a lot" if you know what I mean...and has a keen fondness for studio grips! And everyone knows how much GRIPS love to gossip! So...now you know one of Laura Sue's BIGGEST secrets!

I think that it's really cool that you like my picture! Modeling huh? Well, Stani and I've discussed this very subject before, way back when.... See Maui, to be successful in the modeling business, you have to have that "certain something" that sets you apart from all the rest. Lauren Hutton had that gap in her teeth, Kate Moss has the anorexia/heroin addict thing working for her... and, well.... The hard truth is, (and Stani agrees with me on this) is that my face is just too darn FAMILIAR. So, I'll just stick to GOSSIP and ACTING, which is what I do best!

Laura Sue Dean


If you HAVE any good dish, write me. Need a rumor confirmed, denied, or ambiguously tap danced around? I'm your gal! Just drop Laura Sue a line!

I can't print every letter, but I'll do my best to answer your questions... and report those late-breaking XWP stories!

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