AWARD SHOW FEVER

It's March, and you know what that means in Hollywood...the biggest b*tch*n' party in town...the Oscars! As always, I refuse to be left out of any party with an open bar and the chance to wear a gown and hobnob with the industry greats, near greats and total losers attached to someone with a lot of money. Rest assured, I will be there with bells on (or at least some really good faux diamonds).

I'm working on two different plots this year. One is a possible gig with a security company that my new best pal Charlie Sheen set me up with. It seems Charlie's been having a few problems since he took the new "Spin City" job replacing Michael J. Fox. First the whole cast moved to New York, and now they all have to move back to LA for Charlie. Honey...I remember how nasty Heather Locklear could get on Melrose Place...I'd totally beef up my personal protection too!! (quick..call VIP!) So the deal with this gig is that I would double for one of the stars attending the event, wear the same dress..and essentially lead the media hounds on a wild goose chase while the real star gets to run off and do all kinds of fabulous and scandalous things. The downside is that *I* don't get to do all the fabulous and scandalous things.

The other idea is trying to rent myself out to Annette Bening as an emergency midwife in case she decides to drop the kid on the night of the Oscars. This also has a downside if I actually *have* to do any midwifery...although Gabrielle made it look awfully easy (someone just HANDS you a three month old from under her skirt, right...RIGHT?)

For all you who asked and wondered...I DID get to go to the Grammy's, but was really disappointed to not be allowed into the actual theater. I got to do a temporary personal assistant job for...hold your breath here...Ricky Martin (who is sooo unbelievably cute!). I got the gig because of a friend of a friend knows one of Ricky's many producers!!!! I held a big bag full of burn medication in the event his "ring of fire" act went the way of Michael Jackson's Pepsi commercial inferno. I was more secondary to the operation so I had to park it near the exit, which, like, totally sucked..but hey..at least someone took a snapshot of me with Ricky in my super cool secret agent black suit at the event! Livin La Vida Loca, baby!

Laura Sue at the required distance behind her charge, Ricky Martin, at the Grammy Awards 2000
(representing one more exciting chapter in her on-going tell-all book she is currently writing)

THE END IS NEAR

Okay..it really isn't..I mean we've got 7 whole episodes left for season five, but now that I've got your undivided attention: People..PLEASE! There is *totally* going to be a season 6 of Xena as sure as Macy's will have another weekend sale. I've been hearing the virtual rustle of cheap canned goods being hoarded into the bomb shelters as Xenites fear the sky is falling and our darling Lucy will be hanging up her breastplate and doing something like hosting a daytime kiwi crafts show (we all know about that passion of hers for Martha Stewart stuff). I want you all to know that I have heard nothing from the organic veggie snacky poofs and soy latte laden backrooms of The Powers That Be here in LA that they about NOT filming the first part of season 6. There's a darn good chance that Renee will be directing one of these episodes (YAY!) and you KNOW she's going to want to make sure she gets that on her resume! Laura Sue will naturally let you all know if she catches on to some other terrifying apocalyptic tidbit so you can all prepare with stockpiles of fresh video tapes and clean drinking water. Just remember that whole totally negative Y2K stuff when everyone thought that the world would end and suddenly we get to 2000 and AOL doesn't even crash (how totally freaky is THAT?). Be positive, people!

Now as for season seven, I wouldn't be placing any bets. In a recent interview, Rob Tapert mentioned that going to season seven might end in his untimely demise. (Remember..his wife practices with a sword on a regular basis...)

COMING INTO THE HOME STRETCH WITH A FLOOD OF SPOILERS ABOUT THE FIFTH SEASON

So..anyhoo..here's our final lineup for season five: Lifeblood, Kindred Spirits, Antony and Cleopatra, Looking Death in the Eye, Livia, Eve, and the big boffo finale: Twilight of the Gods. What does Laura Sue hear about the homestretch episodes? Well, for one...R.J. Stewart was back in command here and you know that means quality.

There's a lot of familiar faces coming up in these episodes. For one, we'll have Kate Elliot returning as Yakut for LIFEBLOOD where it looks like we have a whole confusing array of Amazon outfits (Are they all Yakut's Northern Chia pets? Are they Gabby's Greek Gals? Are they from Hidden Valley? Who knows?). One things for sure, they'll be using up a lot of that Amazon High footage that never got shown last year.

In KINDRED SPIRITS, Josh Becker returns to direct a comedy about Gabrielle and Xena settling down with the Amazons (geez..and they didn't even have to rent a U-Haul). Joxer and Xena end up having a some kind of WWF wrestling match, and there should be lots of very cold half dressed women bathing near a waterfall. Sounds like the typical programming you can catch on the USA channel!

Word was that Michael Hurst directed Anthony and Cleopatra, which was rewritten to exclude Joxer at the last minute. We should be seeing some more of Michael Hurst as well. First, he will be making a guest star appearance on an upcoming episode of "Jack of All Trades" in the role of "Captain Nardo," described as a villain. Bruce Campbell and TPTB have thus far been very gracious in giving the "Jack" guests stars lots of screen time and good lines. Additionally, he is slated to direct two episodes of "Jack."

I haven't got much to give you about LOOKING DEATH IN THE EYE or LIVIA, except there WAS a rumor floating around that Karl Urban *might* be back to play Augustus Ceasar..but I don't have anything substantial to back that one up with. Oooh..I hope it's true...I so miss Karl! I heard another whispered innuendo that Hudson Leick might make an appearance to play an all-grownup Eve but Laura Sue made some phone calls and it turns out Hudson is a no go. This still begs the question..exactly *how* would Eve grow up so fast? Of course, we do have Hope and her totally disgusting white-snot-super-grow-Barbie cocoon as a precedent for just how fast a little girl can develop in the Xenaverse (as least it was a quick and painless puberty without having to discover love in the back of a powder blue Camaro with...wait..too much information!) Of course, at the Pasadena convention the effects people talked about the trials of turning Ted Raimi into an old man..so we will probably see an episode where Joxer is an old man and Eve is a grown woman. Lastly, we can look forward to seeing that great Hunk of God with the nibblable nipples, Kevin Smith, in the season finale.

Speaking of familiar faces, Laura Sue was thrilled to see a trailer for FINAL DESTINATION..a new movie starring Tony Todd (Cecrops) opening on Thursday, March 16th, 2000. Looks like Tony will be playing another not so bright and fluffy role (looks like he's playing Death??...how much less fluffy can you get?) The screenplay was written by the writers who penned some of the most memorable and spine-chilling episodes of ``The X-Files'' Save me an aisle seat..I love that man's deep sultry voice!

SCHEDULE ALERTS!!!

The SEATTLE WASHINGTON AREA EVERETT (suburb of Seattle) Sat. & Sun. March 18-19 OFFICIAL HERCULES AND XENA Creation Convention was cancelled. Those that have purchased tickets will be contacted in regards to refunds. Bummer.

XENA LIVE CLOSING DOWN

The fabulous stage extravaganza Xena Live! is closing down March 19, 2000. If you haven't seen it yet and can get yourself to Chicago..go see it! Let's all hope they get some big cash and can haul it on the road! (audition..hellooooo?)

IDENTITY PROBLEMS

I just want to make it absolutely *clear* that I'm Laura Sue Dean..not to be confused with Laura (Elizabeth) Dern. I heard one gentleman got me confused with her and commented on how Laura was a few cans short of a six pack. You know...I was at a party with Laura Dern and she really WAS short a few cans! I immediately had her switch to bottles.

MERCHANDISE ALERT

Creative Licenses is selling their Xena and Hercules figurines for a fabulous HALF OFF on their website: Go to http://www.creativelicenses.com. I love my Xena figurine and keep her poised and ready to attack on the top of dashboard while driving (the beauty of velcro). Better than the St. Christopher medal and so WAY cooler!

Here's some upcoming merchandise scoped out and commented on by the ever resourceful Nitefal (Nitefal's comments in brackets)

1) XENA MAGAZINE FEATURING HERCULES # 8 - US$5.99 It's the moment that all Xena fans have been waiting for ! Season Five draws to a close, and Xena goes head to head with the gods ! Who can win in this clash of the titans ? Xena Magazine is there for a blow-by-blow account of the making of Xena's season finale. Interviewed this issue are Claire Stansfield(Alti), production designer Robert Giles, composer Jo DeLuca, and producer Liz Friedman. Plus, all the latest news direct from the series' producers and exclusive reports, and interviews with the stars direct from the set. (Titan) [Comes in both Newsstand cover (closeup head & shoulder photo of a smiling Xena) & Previews Variant cover(of a smiling Gabrielle in oriental dress, with bare arms crossed)]

2) XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS #9 COMIC - US$2.95 By Ian Eddington and Mike Deodato Jr.. Xena and her companions have returned to Europe, which should be a relief after their trials in Rome. But danger has a way of finding Xena, even in the most unlikely places. A cozy night at an inn turns into a search for a missing girl. Which in turn ... becomes something else ! [Comes in both Photo & Art( Pearson ) covers.]

3) XENA WARRIOR PRINCESS-THE WARRIOR WAY OF DEATH TP - US$9.95 By Wagner, Chin and Wong. Left for dead on the cross by the Romans, Xena struggles with delirium and deceit as she must decide her fate - to relive her dark past or to face the grim spectacle of her present. And when her choice casts her in Hell, the big guy himself offers her the opportunity to sit at his right hand if she will lure to the Netherworld a pure, powerful soul - a certain Norse God of Thunder ! - to lead a war against Heaven ! These story lines are interwoven with those of the finale of Season 4 and the premier of Season 5 of XENA:WARRIOR PRINCESS. [This Trade Paperback appears to be a compilation of Dark Horse Xena Comics #1, 2 and 3. So, if you missed getting them when they first came out, you might want to consider getting this combined set.]

4) XENA: "THE QUILL IS MIGHTIER" SCRIPT - US$15.00 You'll laugh out loud as you read this official episode script as Gabrielle's written words come true in every aspect thanks to Aphrodite's enchantments. Script is packaged with an exclusive photo shot from the episode ! (Creation Entertainment)

5) XENA "LOVE IS A TRICK" T-SHIRT - US$17.00 Struck from the mouth of the Warrior Queen Callisto comes her commandment "Love is a trick that nature plays to get us to reproduce." The phrase is boldly captured within a heart-shaped chakram on this striking red T-shirt ! [It shows a silver heart-shaped new-style chakram, with the words in silver written over it.]

This issue is also re-soliciting for the following old Xena-related items:

6) WIZARDS OF THE COAST XENA TRADING CARD GAME - A) Starter Decks - US$5.99/each B) Booster Pack - US$2.99/each

7) ARES GOD OF WAR RESIN STATUE - US$37.50 Now available at a new low price ! From the HERCULES and XENA TV series. Fresh from the world-famous Xena archaeological expedition comes this 6" hand-painted cold-cast porcelain figure depicts the fearsome vengeful personality of the Greek war god, Ares. Painted and ready to display. Limited tp 2,500. Order one or behold his wrath !

LETTERS TO LAURA SUE

HI Laura ,

I just wanted to ask : is it possible that in the 5th season, we don't see Autolycus anymore??? It's one of my favorite characters , and he doesn't seem to play anymore on the show ... has he left??? Or will he be playing in recent episodes?

Is it true that Xena will not have a 7th season and it will end like Hercules, with 8 eps in the 6th season??? It is a great show indeed, and the show is not ready to die (al least, not yet) .... I'll wait for your answers....thanks in advance.

A great fan of Xena (I have all Xena eps on tape!!!!)

Dear Great Fan,

First, Bruce Campbell (Autolycus) has been working full time on his new show "Jack of All Trades" which doesn't leave him much time to appear on Xena. He's not scheduled to appear on any of the episodes for season 5 as far as I know. As for season 6, we might get to squeeze a tiny appearance or two out of Bruce. Autolycus is still part of Xena's pesky posse..so we'll see for next year!

As for your second question, right now we are scheduled to have a full sixth season. As I said before, the seventh will depend on a bunch of factors...so we'll see. I wouldn't hold your breath (actually, that's very bad for you to do anyway!)

-Laura Sue

Hi Laura,

I read in a Dutch newspaper that Lucy is quitting Xena after fifth season to go and become a hollywood actress. PLEASE I need to know if this is true, here in Holland we are two seasons behind.

BTW I LOVE your writings.

Love, Laure Pfeil

Dear Laure,

Oh, thank you sweetie! Don't you pay *any* attention to that bad old Dutch newspaper. Lucy will be strapping on that breastplate and getting out there for season 6. She's signed a contract and Xena is the best place for her to be right now with a new baby...not schlepping baby Julius all over some strange new set where the craft services might not have sippy cups for the little guy.

-Laura Sue

WHAT'S WITH KEVIN SMITH

He's still appearing on Xena.... so I'm really confused. Is there a point when he will stop appearing, does he have a last episode?

He was planning on skipping town, but with Lawless pregnancy he was wooed back, He's no longer on contract, but paid by the show. It may be Twilight of the Gods, but you know Ares gets to be locked up in that tomb in his old costume to come back and terrorize Xena and Gabrielle descendents and reincarnations! He'll always be around.

-Laura Sue

It's good to see that you are back at last! However, what is this incarcaration? What happened? If it's posted somewhere, please let me know. If not, please send a brief description? Thanks alot, and I hope there's a ton of updates!

~Ray

Dear Ray,

Err...well...I'm not supposed to talk about it..but let's just say I was an innocent victim of circumstance and worked for the wrong people at the wrong time. I actually enjoyed my little forced vacay and got to meet a lot of exciting and influential people in the slammer. I posted a little bit about it in my last update. Thanks for the concern, Ray..I'm putting it all behind me!

-Laura Sue

Hi Laura Sue,

We read Beth Gaynor's commentary on God Fearing Child that she thought the baby that was used was Julius. We both think that Julius was used both in Eternal Bonds and Amphipolis Under Siege. There were 3 different babies used in Eternal Bonds. The first baby definitely looked like a girl. The second looked like Julius. This baby's face was familiar even though we have only seen him on Entertainment Tonight. Maybe it was just us, our eyes, our imagination and wishful thinking that the baby was Julius. The baby was cute nonetheless. The third baby looked totally different. From Lucy Lawless' Entertainment Tonight interview, we gathered they will sneak Julius somewhere. We presumed the baby arc was the perfect time. Any info?

TwinXenas, Virginia & Lourdes

Sorry gals! Despite rumors to the contrary...none of the babies are Julius. He's supposedly a bit like his name..very imperious and loves to babble on endlessly (not the best thing for an actor baby). He's not far away, however. Kevin Smith talked about how difficult the hot and steamy temple scene with Lucy was to do...Julius was gurgling away just a few feet off set. As many parents will tell you..That'll kill the moment...

-Laura Sue

Dear Laura Sue,

I recently visited Alexandra Tydings web page and in the Future Sightings section, it lists several Comic Book Conventions she is scheduled to appear at. Do you have the inside track on whether or not we can expect to see her a Xena/Herc Con/Gathering anytime soon? Of course having her cell phone number I'm sure works wonders for getting questions like that answered. Then again it could create some very funny prank call situations if done correctly. (Insert funny prank joke here)

Respectfully, Nancy

Looks like Miss Thing (what I like to call my fave goddess) is pretty booked up during the early part of the summer with all that comic con hopping. Maybe if she feels like sticking around on the east coast after Dragon Con we might see her at Cherry Hill. It's not far from New York and any actress knows that if you go east..you should call your agent and book some auditions in the Big Apple (at least that's what I tell Sid...although he keeps booking me auditions at orchards. I think he's getting too old for this business)

Here's a rundown of Alexandra's appearances for all those comic cons (what a schedule!):

May 19-21 Convention appearance Motor City Comic Con Novi Expo Center, Michigan.
May 26-28 Convention appearance Big Easy Comic-Con Hilton Riverside Hotel & Expo Center, New Orleans.
June 24-25 Convention appearance AgamemCon Hilton Burbank Airport, Burbank, California.
June 29-July 2 Convention appearance Dragon*Con Mondo convention at the Hyatt Regency, Atlanta. Visit their web site at http://www.dragoncon.com.

Oh...and she switched her phone service and I never got the new number. I don't know why...I guess maybe the calls at 3 AM were a bad idea..but that's when I get all chatty!

-Laura Sue

LAURA SUE NEEDS YOU!

If you HAVE any good dish, write me. Need a rumor confirmed, denied, or ambiguously tap danced around? I'm your gal! Just drop Laura Sue a line!

I can't print every letter, but I'll do my best to answer your questions... and report those late-breaking XWP stories!



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