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By Laura Sue Dean
March 31, 2000



WELL KIDS, I HAVE A SPLITTING HEADACHE THAT ALLLL THE EXCEDRIN AND BLOODY MARY'S IN THE WORLD WON'T CURE. Laura Sue was having a grand old time last night at Charlie Sheen's End of Probation Party. What a long night...The GOOD NEWS out of all of this is that I might just be finding a new glorious place to live. Charlie has a guesthouse out by the pool! Everyone burn candles for me and cross their fingers!

SPEAKING OF LONG NIGHTS... I had a FABULOUS time at the Oscars(tm) the other evening. Laura Sue was dressed to the nines in a Vera Wang gown I borrowed from my old girlpal Shannon Doherty (who owed me BIGTIME for not getting me a part in Satan's School For Girl's!!). The whole thing with doubling for a star to lure the paparazzi just didn't pan out. Ever resourceful, I managed to get a job as a seat filler for Whitney Houston. Wouldn't you know it, but I got stuck behind Erika Badu's massive headdress (honey...WHAT WAS SHE THINKING? How rude!). I couldn't see a d*mn thing all night! Well...a buddy of mine says he might be able to get me one of those stolen Oscars, so at least I might get a decent party favor from the experience.


ANOTHER YEAR OLDER.... Laura Sue would like to wish a very happy birthday to Lucy Lawless, that lucky leading lady way over yonder who keeps us all entertained weekly...and does a great job on Xena, too! Lucy turned 32 this week...you go girl... Of course..she actually IS going. For anyone who hasn't read the old news that Lucy is NOT doing a 7th season..wake up and smell the fennel twig tea. That's right- Xena ends after season 6 according to Lucy's statement in the March 20th New Zealand Women's Day. According to Lu..she wants to pursue a film career. Laura Sue thinks this is FABU because that's EXACTLY what LAURA SUE is doing!! I feel so, like, bonded now. Maybe we can work together...she likes working with little blondes so I would be a great transitional costar. The most violence I can manage is swinging my purse at bad guys, so I hope it isn't an action flick.

A NEW FLICK ALREADY? Looks like Lucy is jumping right into the film thing already. Here's a snippet from the Sydney Morning Herald:

"The news from Encore magazine is that Xena is coming to town. Lucy Lawless, who by day passes for a mild mannered Kiwi actor but when the mood takes her shucks off her clothing and dons breastplates and sword as the warrior princess, has joined TV sleuth Rebecca Gibney in the cast of a new feature film called Dealing with Donna"
Word is this is a comedy about two dysfunctional women. Golly...doesn't this sound like season 5?

SPEAKING OF FILM CAREERS...ROC??? Now this is SOOOO speculative that I hate to say it, but you know what a big old gossip Laura Sue is! The big old rumour mill says that Sam Raimi has been tapped to direct the upcoming Spiderman flick with Chris O'Donnell. It is speculated that Renee O'Connor may be up for the part as Spiderman's gal, MaryJane Parker. What a hoot! She would be stuck being another sidekick.

RENPIC BUDGETARY RESTRAINTS CAUSES NEW FASHION SENSATIONS? Hot, hot, hot gossip tells me that Gabrielle will be getting YET another new costume next year! The word is that she might be donning red velvet. Now, we all know RenPics is trying to cut costs, but I've managed to get a supersecret picture of the designer's concept below and I had no idea how hard up they were. Candy Gooderly's Massage Emporium in Auckland was redecorating last month and threw out perfectly good curtains!

They got the idea from the Carol Burnet Show

She just saw it in the window and couldn't resist!

ANOTHER XENA ALUM MAKES GOOD! Laura Sue was having cocktails with an old associate of Liz Friedman's recently who says Liz is doing well and writing, writing, writing! She has done a script for a Law and Order Special Victim's Unit episode that sounds really unique (Laura Sue won't tell you what it's about...you'll have to watch!). I'll let you all know when this is getting aired as soon as I get a call...


NOW I TRY AND TRY TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND THINGS LIKE RATINGS, but for the life of me I simply CANNOT understand all the Nielsen babble..there's SO many people doing ratings, target markets, sweeps, posting all this stuff on so many sites that I have just had ENOUGH! I even had the nicest person attempt to patiently explain the way RenPics makes money off of percentages based on advertising sales and yadda yadda yadda. I still just can't look at this stuff without wanting to bang my head against something hard and beautifully decorative (self abuse with style, baby) and pray that I never end up working in the numbers side of this business.

Here's an example or two I've gathered from the multitude of ratings postings:

February sweeps, Feb. 3-March 1
                                     Stations/  Household  Adults 18-49
Rank  Program                      % coverage     AA%          AA%

     1 Wheel of Fortune               235/99          12.0      3.3
     2 Jeopardy!                      223/99          10.0      2.9
     3 Judge Judy                     233/98           7.5      3.0
     4 Oprah Winfrey                  238/99           7.0      3.0
     4 Entertainment Tonight          185/95           7.0      3.2
     4 Wheel of Fortune-Wknd          199/89           7.0      2.0
     7 Friends                        220/92           6.7      4.7
     8 Seinfeld                       229/98           6.3      4.0
     9 Frasier                        209/96           5.6      3.4
    10 Hollywood Squares              205/96           4.6      1.8
    11 Jerry Springer                 212/96           4.5      2.5
    11 Drew Carey                     219/90           4.5      3.0
    11 The X-Files                    235/98           4.5      3.0
    11 ER                             228/93           4.5      2.5
    15 Judge Joe Brown                204/97           4.4      1.7
    15 Seinfeld-Wknd                  205/95           4.4      2.7
    17 Friends-Wknd                   196/84           4.1      2.8
    18 Rosie O'Donnell                341/99           3.9      1.6
    18 Maury                          208/97           3.9      1.8
    20 Live W/Regis & Kathie Lee      237/98           3.8      1.2
    20 Stargate SG-1                  224/96           3.8      2.3
    20 Xena                           234/98           3.8      2.3

AA average refers to nonduplicated viewing for multiple airings of
thesameshow. GAA average encompasses duplicated viewing.GAA average does
not apply when there is only one run of a show.

Isn't this the most thrilling thing you've seen in your life? NOT! Of course this is only from one sweeps (just a reminder...sweeps is when the networks figure out how much money they can charge for advertising airtime based on how popular a show is based on ratings...breathe now...) Of course, Nielsen Media Research ratings from Top 20 Programs in Syndication for the Week of 03/13/00 - 03/19/00 lists Xena as not even making the top 20. Then..right before that..something called the Nielsen Galaxy Report (which sounds like the weather channel for Starfleet) lists THIS for the week of 3/6/00 - 3/12/00

TOP 10 SF Syndicated TV Shows
The X-Files  4.0
3rd Rock  3.6
Stargate SG-1  3.3
Back2Back Action  2.7
Xena  2.7
Beastmaster  2.7
Profiler  2.2
Earth: Final Conflict  2.2
Relic Hunter  2.1
The Lost World  2.0

Now can you see why I'm confused. All these quibbling Nielsen's (who ARE the Nielsen's anyway and why are they watching so much TV???), and all these conflicting messages..Xena's OK..Xena's out of it...Xena's OK...My sister...My daughter...my sister...my daughter (sorry..little Faye Dunaway Chinatown moment there). I think I'm LOSING it! Let's just all try to watch the show a little more shall we??? Everybody go find out where the Nielsen's live and tell them to stop watching Wheel of Fortune and get with the program. Here endeth my tirade.


ONE MORE TIME...WITH FEELING! Warm up those vocal cords people and placate the neighbors 'cuz here comes another Xena CD to sing along to as you reenact scenes from "Lyre, Lyre" in your bra and panties in the livingroom (doesn't everybody?). Coming May 16 2000 to a record NEAR YOU, you little musical fanatics you. Very serious Xenabilia collectors can scurry out and buy the fifth volume of Xena music, which will include many of the fabulous numbers from this year's rock musical "Lyre, Lyre, Hearts On Fire". Now, why can't I get the silver go-go bikini too?

COFFEE, TEA...DVD ANYONE?? Looks like Universal is finally getting off their [CENSORED BY EDITOR] and putting Xena on DVD (The Passion! The Danger! The Resolution! Oh baby...). According to the folks at http://www.r2-dvd.org, the release for the first DVD will be April 17, 2000 with "Orphan of War", "Remember Nothing", and "Giant Killer". Now, I just have to be a total b*tch here and complain just a tad. I mean, fabulous resolution and glorious sound and I have to look at "Giant Killer"? How does this make sense? Start at the beginning with "Sins of the Past", or give me something breathtaking and sweeping like "The Debt"? Oh well...at least it's a START!

LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT ME, LET'S TALK ABOUT MY BOOK. Well, I had a little chat with Mr. Robert Trebor and there's nothing on the horizon *yet* for Salmoneus to return to Xena. Does this mean Bob is sitting around getting a pedicure and watching Days of Our Lives (what I do when I'm waiting for a call from RenPics)? Noooo..in fact...he's now a writer, theater impresario, and floating around on a big boat.

Robert Trebor's book, for all you insatiable Sal fans, is called "Dear Salmoneus: The World's First Guide to Love and Money" and is for sale at http://www.nextplanetover.com. Just type in Dear Salmoneus in the search field...click go, and voila! Bob is also scheduled for a celebrity cruise Oct. 13-16 2000 from Vancouver to San Francisco---it's called the 2000 Sci-Fi Sea Cruise and people can get info by calling Tedd at 800 683-7447 x77260 or by checking the website http://members.aol.com/sfcruise.

Bob will also be doing personal appearance signings in Sacramento on April 15 2000 at 2:00pm at Records on the K Street Mall, in Orlando for Tachycon May 26-29 2000 at the Disney World Hilton....and the final details are getting ironed out for a 14 city tour in the United Kingdom including Dublin, Cardiff, and Glasgow for mid June 2000.

On top of all of this, (does this man ever sleep? Has he had too much coffee? Does he EVER watch Days of Our Lives and see to his greater toenail health and beauty?), Bob's working on a one man play called "Diary Of A Madman"and getting backing for a screenplay/directing project called "My Bonny Lies Over The Ocean".

Laura Sue is sending a box of valium and a nail file over to Mr. Trebor right now with a big fruit basket. Slow down, sweetie!

IN PRINT NOW.... Cinescape (Mar./Apr. 2000) and Starlog (Apr. 2000, #273). Both have articles on Jack and Cleo, as well as Xena. Cinescape had an article on Bruce Campbell and Jack, with comments about his various involvements in Hercules and Xena and also mentioned Kevin Sorbo's upcoming TV show, Andromeda. Starlog also had mentions about Jack, as well as a 4-page article on Vickie Pratt (Cyane) and her involvement not only in Cleo, but on her Xena part too (I want to know MORE about that sweat lodge scene, honey).

HERES 12 THINGEES from the latest issue of PREVIEWS Magazine/Catalog

1) XENA MAGAZINE FEATURING HERCULES # 9 - US$5.99 Pages 304 & 305 This issue welcomes Renee O'Connor to the pages of Xena Magazine as she reveals the goings-on behind the scenes at Renaissance Pictures, plus a celebration of the life of everyone's favorite bard, Gaby herself ! Also, an interview with Xena's producers, who reveal secrets from the set. Plus, all the latest episode details, the latest news from the New Zealand set, interviews with guest-stars, and more from the world of Xena and Hercules ! (Titan)

2) XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS #10 COMIC - US$2.95 By Ian Edgington and Mike Deodato Jr..

3) DARK HORSE PRESENTS ANNUAL 2000: GIRLS RULE! - US$4.95 By Peter David, Cliff Richards, Miuke Kennedy, Ian Edgington, MarkHenry, and others; flip-cover by Joe Chido. What do a Jedi-hating bounty hunter, a vampire-slaying college student, an Amazon warrior, a teenage spy, and a first-time super-hero have in common? They're all females, and they all kick ass ! DHP ANNUAL 2000 celebrates girl power with five exciting new stories featuring some of the most fascinating 'femme fatales' in comics: STAR WARS' Aurra Sing, BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER; XENA WARRIOR PRINCESS' Gabrielle, SPYBOY's Bombshell, and from GHOST, Silhouette ! Pick up this 64-page blockbuster and watch these dames show the big boys that Girls Rule!

4) STARLOG MAGAZINE #277 - US$6.99 No specifics. They just mention that this issue will have coverage of XENA.

5) XENA SINS OF THE PAST SCRIPT - US$15.00 So you thought you had every script so far - Not ! Xena's premiere episode(1995) is right here as she meets Gabrielle and so begins the path of redemption - clad with episodic photo you've never before seen! (Creation Entertainment) (XE-SCR30).

6) XENA:WARRIOR PRINCESS 2001 16-MONTH WALL CALENDER - US$12.95 Watch in amazement as Xena and friends do battle with warlords, ancient gods, and mystical beasts. Sisters unite ! (Portal Publications). 12" X 12"

7) XENA AND GABRIELLE IN CHAKRAM T-SHIRT - US$16.99 The two rough and ready gals from XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS are ready to duke it out on this slick cotton T-shirt. M-XXL.

8) XENA CHICKS KICK ASS T-SHIRT - US$16.99 That's right ! The days of folding laundry and staying behind a hot stove waiting for daddy to come home are over ! Ladies: get your battle gear, sword, chakram, and follow Xena on to adventure wearing this cotton T-shirt that proclaims "Chicks Kick Ass !" M-XXL.

9) XENA NEW CHAKRAM COBOLT SHOOTER - US$7.00 This new Xena shooter is as pretty as it is functional ! Showcase this 2 1/2-oz. tall cobalt shot glass outside of your bar - it's too pretty to hide away! Imagery of the new chakram captures the tri-colors against the blue - very nice!

10) XENA NEW CHAKRAM GOBLET - US$19.00 Back by popular demand - the newly designed wrap-around chakram goblet! Yes, all 17-oz. of dimpled glass await your hearty brew, ice cream sundae, or favorite warrior concoction!

11) XENA NEW "DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT" STEEL TRAVEL MUG - US$24.00 Let everyone know not to mess with you ... that's what the warlords do on the hit series XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS. Their motto "don't even think about it" is captured across the front of this new stainless- steel coffee mug clad with a snug topper to keep your beverages hot and fresh !

12) XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS #10 COMIC - US$2.95 By Ian Edgington and Mike Deodato Jr..What do you do with a wayward viking who spurns raping and pillaging for reading and music ? You send an army of mercenaries after him and have a warrior princess show him what it means to fight ! DARK HORSE continues to bring you the adventures of everyone's favorite warrior princess, Xena ! Ian Edgington and Mike Deodato bring you another kick-ass installment of Xena's continuing adventures.

ALSO...MORE COMICS. The 7th Xena Comic from DARK HORSE is now available in the USA, in both art and photo covers. Nice photo cover of Xena in a red outfit holding the gleaming new chakram up beside her head. The glow off of the weapon reflects off of the warrior's intense blue eyes. Davide' Fabbri is the penciller for this John Wagner story, where Xena & Gabrielle travel to Rome in order to try to free some followers of Eli who are destined to be eaten by lions in the Circus Maximus. This time, it is Xena who has to restrain a fired-up Gabrielle from committing mayhem. [Laura Sue loves it when Gabrielle gets fired up!]

"Pop Parody Comics!" book (Issue #2) $2.95 (released last week) has a short story called, "Pokymon: World Domination." Its a parody of "Pokemon" characters. "Zena" and "Gabrielle" (their version) makes an appearance in this issue book. (Only two pages.) Also, "Zena" is on the cover.


Hi Laura Sue,

Xena's my favorite show ever since the first time that I saw it, the writers and directors are great, and the actors especially the actors are so cool they are sooo talented (especially Lucy Renee and Kevin (smith).Is it true that Lucy will be leaving the show after the sixth season to start a movie career.

Thanks, Christy (aka Cindy)

Dear Christy,

According to New Zealand Womens Day magazine, that is exactly what she said. She's throwing in the towel at the end of Season 6. She's looking for a "juicy" part....honey aren't we ALL?

-Laura Sue

Is that Rumor true?? And if it's true, I've got an idea to continue the show without Xena (if she really leaves for good).... Last 6th season episode let Xena die and we go on to a 7th season with Gabrielle,Joxer,and Salmoneus.... Could it be a good idea?? Gabrielle (Renee O'Connor) would be the lead star..... as Joxer as a sidekick..... it would be a great idea!!! (but the show would change name...like ... "Gabrielle : The bard's adventures" or "Gabrielle : The Greater Good" .... and it would be more fun because Joxer would be all around ... and we would see Joxer FINALLY evolving towards bravery and loyalty, and finally, good fighting abilities, and more intelligence ... and we could see an evolution between Joxer-Gabby romance....). And the show wouldn't need to be recast because same actors would play, like in the Xena series, except that Lucy will be missing....what do you think??? Anyways ... the show needs to continue!! Even if it's named "Gabrielle:The Greater Good" (1st season, derived from Xena, about the same way Xena was born from Hercules) , they should continue to air shows in an ancient greek setting .... I personnaly don't like the Cleopatra2525 and Jack of all trades setting....it doesn'T have the myth that Xena and Herc had.... what do you think? I know it's a big idea, but could you submit it to Sam Raimi or Rob Tapert? I would be very proud that it could work ... and you're the first person to know about my idea....it has been a while that this idea was in my head....and I've always dreamed that I could do something big for Xena (and Gabrielle)... Anyways, I don't know if the rumor of Lucy leaving is true, I need your answer about this idea, or rumor confirmation ....

If Renee O' connor doesn't want to play Gabby too, we could go on with a Joxer series ... it would turn into a comic relief .... and he could be more of a fighter now .... and he would have a sidekick ... could be Salmoneus or someone else ... someone new ... why not???

I wait for your answers..

Angela Carter, a great fan of Xena (and Gabrielle, because Gabrielle is my favorite character ..... and EVERYONE loves her, so my idea would have a great rating!).


Whoa! Slow down there honey and breathe into a paper bag! First off...there is no longer a rumor about Xena not having a season 7...it's just a plain ol' fact now! As for the idea of continuing the show with just Renee, I can almost GUARANTEE you that she's ready to move on, too. Laura Sue would *love* to see Ted Raimi get his own show, however. The sooner the better, in my book!

-Laura Sue

Where O Where Is Tyldus ??? Hath He Gone From The Xenaverse?? I Think I've Only Seen One Screenplay This Year From The Scribe? What Hath I Missed??


Where have you BEEN, sweetie! Steve Sears announced his departure from Xena at the end of last season. He's gone off to work on Sheena, Queen of the Jungle...a new b*tt kicking chick show with lots of foliage. The grapevine says that an upcoming edition of Wired magazine (you know..that internet mag with the wacky layout that is some designers wet dream but can be *very* hard to read!) is doing an article on Steve and Sheena. I've heard all sorts of VIP fans have been interviewed (except..it seems...Laura Sue...but.. I do have that intimidating air about me, I've been told..which I find VERY hard to believe..I mean if they found the guts to interview my cheap b*tchy battleax of a boss here at Whoosh..they can chat a spell with little old me!). Steve actually penned parts of several screenplays earlier this year but went under the name Buddy Williers because there were so many changes, he didn't want to take credit for the script (geez...maybe Orci and Kurtzman should have been smart enough to use pen names after some of their heinous scripts..like Beavis and Butthead perhaps).

-Laura Sue

Is it possible Renee O'Connor had a nose job? I always thought her nose was awfully small; actually a little too small for her face. Not that it was such a bad thing. But I recently saw the Hercules and the Lost Kingdom movie on TNT, where Renee played Dianara. Her nose looked like a "normal" size in this movie. I can't be sure as I don't have side by side images to compare. But the difference seemed enough to suggest it was possible. Please let me know if you have any info. Thanks!

-Ron E

Dearest Ron,

It is a known scientific fact that women with blonde hair appear to have smaller noses than women with darker hair. This would explain the apparent "shrinkage" in Renee's nose in comparison to her earlier roles. It is purely an optical illusion. When I added highlights to my already naturally blonde hair (cough), friends told me that my nose virtually disappeared! In the case of Tori Spelling, however, all the peroxide in the world wouldn't knock that sucker down to debutante size!

the ever scientifically informed
-Laura Sue


If you HAVE any good dish, write me. Need a rumor confirmed, denied, or ambiguously tap danced around? I'm your gal! Just drop Laura Sue a line!

I can't print every letter, but I'll do my best to answer your questions... and report those late-breaking XWP stories!

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