The New York Times
By page E44
Xena pops up most surreally in a humor piece by a former writer for Saturday Night Live. It is really not associated with anyhting, except it is supposed to conjure up a vision of a fantasy babe for losers.
I've never gone in much for the whole concept of adult education. I suppose that a microscopic examination of my academic transcripts by an ill-wisher could lead to the conclusion that I wasn't so keen on childhood or adolescent education, either. Then, one day last week, after picking up some hats I'd brought in to be blocked, I came across one of those course catalogues that are stacked on street corners or strewn in Barnes & Noble doorways all over New York City. It was from a place called the Knowledge Knook and its motto, "Turning 'No Ways' into 'Know Ways' for literally dozens of months," kind of gave me a headache. But it also intrigued me, and so, looking around to make sure no one was watching, I slipped the pamphlet inside a copy of The New Yorker. The inside front cover was taken up by a letter from the president and founder, whose name I have decided not to use after a harrowing series of communications with his lawyers. [snip] He went on to list some of the Knook's most recent additions to its academic roster. [snip] Men! Find Your Ultimate Fantasy Date! Like most guys, you'd probably love to find your "fantasy" date and, like most guys, you've probably cruised the bars, hung around the checkout counters, read the personals, even asked your sister if she knows any "hotties." Sure, you meet a few women -- maybe even friendly and attractive ones -- but they always seem to come burdened with their own personalities, problems, opinions, needs and emotions. The course facilitator, a renowned loner, will share his million-dollar secrets that spell out in explicit detail exactly where to look for your own fantasy date. You'll learn: *The top spots to find fantasy: swimsuit issues of sporting magazines, promotional posters from alcoholic beverage manufacturers, "Xena: Warrior Princess." *Supermodels versus centerfolds: Which is better? *Cindy Crawford + Yasmine Bleeth - hotshot boyfriends = perfect fantasy woman? If you're ready to stop settling for human imperfection and start "living in a fantasy world" then, brother, you can't afford to miss this course! [snip]
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