AIRING AND RATING INFORMATION
2nd RELEASE: 10/17/94
An AA average of 5.3
Competition from Syndicated Action Dramas:
6 Star Trek:Deep Space Nine 238/99 7.4 7.7
7 Baywatch 217/96 6.7 7.0
14 Action Pack Network 163/95 5.3 5.5
18 Kung Fu 173/93 4.8 4.9
SYNOPSIS 1:
Synopsis by
Euterpe.
We start by seeing a foggy jungle-like
place with some scared men. They are trying to get somewhere to
get help. Uh Oh...something or someone is out there. Whoosh
Whoosh. One of the men says "What are you, show yourself." His
wish is granted and they are attacked. Only one of the men gets
away and he is seen running out of the jungle-like place.
We go to kids playing in a village. It
is a nice day. A small boy sees something and runs to...TAH
DAH...Iolaus. "He's here" says the boy. Iolaus goes to see this
man. Who is it? We see feet...and then see...Hercules. Yeah!
Iolaus and Hercules throw each other around. Boys will be boys.
Iolaus tells Hercules "It's bad luck for the best man to kill the
groom before the wedding" as he is being benchpressed over
Hercules' head. Then there is much laughter and male bonding.
Iolaus is getting married! There is much crying by me.
Back to the crystal ball. The men chat while walking along.
They are talking about Onya..Iolaus' beautiful intended bride.
(I hate her.)
UH OH, we hear Hera's theme music. We
see bones lying on the ground next to a little girl. She is
crying. She says "A monster killed my father then spit out his
bones." Hercules talks to her. OH MY...she turns into a monster.
YIKES. A serpent-like hydra with a collar. Quite stylish
actually. Probably the best dressed monster I have ever seen.
Unfortunately, this well-dressed hydra multiplies. When its head
is cut off...it grows another, and another. Eventually Hercules
and Iolaus kill the fashion conscious hydra with fire. A peacock
feather found at the scene shows that this was all the work of
Hera. Bad Hera!! Hercules says that "Hera is proof of what
happens when a woman gets too much power." I don't think that we
will see Hercules at a NOW meeting any time soon.
We go to Hercules and Iolaus with
Alcmene. Iolaus invites them to dinner, Onya is cooking. YUMMY.
Iolaus leaves and Mom fusses over her son. She is concerned about
a cut on his arm and asks what happened. Hercules tells her.
Alcmene knows that Hera is the cause. She goes to get stuff to
dress the wound. Surprise...in pops Zeus. He looks alot like
Anthony Quinn. Zeus is checking up on his favorite son. He says
that he can't control Hera. In walks Alcmene and Zeus drools and
oogles her. Zeus can't control his women or his hormones.
Hercules not pleased. He tells Zeus to stay away from Alcmene.
Good Boy!!!
Go to the lone survivor from the
jungle-like place. He is slinking around the village.
We go to Iolaus tasting Onya's cooking
from a bubbling pot. It only minimally resembles a crone-like
witches cauldron. Alcmene enters the kitchen and Iolaus goes over
to Hercules who is sitting at a table. Hercules agrees that there
is a weird smell coming from the kitchen (from the cauldron).
Onya serves him a sampling of her witch's stew. Hercules'
expression shows that it tastes weird, too. Thankfully he is
saved from food poisoning or turning into a toad by the lone
survivor.
This mysterious man appears in one of
the windows. Onya sees him a gives out a startled "OOOH."
Hercules investigates. The quickly opened door is stopped by the
survivor's nose. We discover that the survivor, named Pithas, is
looking for Hercules. His village is called Gargarensia and it's
under attack by vicious beasts. Hercules agrees to help and they
plan to leave in the morning. Iolaus wants to go along. He has a
problem...he is getting married. Iolaus says "Best friends
fighting back to back one last time." Hercules is persuaded with
much laughing and chuckling. Major male bonding,again. Hercules
concerned about how Onya will take this. Iolaus tells Onya that
Hercules begged him to go. He repeats the Best friends...back to
back...yada yada yada story. Liar liar pants on fire. Hercules
promises Onya that he will get Iolaus back in plenty of time for
the wedding. UH HUH. Off the three men go. Lions and tigers and
beasts...oh my. Lots of pretty visual scenes. More jokes about
Onya's lack of cooking skills.
We go to a man struggling with a pig.
We have reached the village. "Hey everyone, Pithas is back."
Pithas says "Come on out everyone, I have Hercules...come to save
Gargarensia." I expected to see little munchkins tip-toeing out
wearing huge flowers on their heads. "Hercules...are you a good
witch or a bad witch." Sorry...that refers to Onya. Back to the
crystal ball. Iolaus and Hercules ask "Where are all the women?"
(They are probably at the local NOW meeting making KICK ME signs
for Hercules' back). They are told that the Beasts took them.
There are children in the village but they are all boys. The
children are found at the riverbank. I hope that the fish hooks
are removed humanely. HAHA. Sorry. The beasts are described as
looking like a wolf, a bear and a hawk. Off Hercules and Iolaus
go to KILL THE BEASTS!! Wolves and bears and hawks...oh my. There
is more Onya cooking jokes and male bonding. Iolaus says he wants
to have 5 sons...all named Iolaus. I am sure that will cut down
the confusion in that family on who is guilty of.......anything.
Our heroes stumble upon two men hanging
upside down looking deceased. Noises and movement occur all
around. The men (the live ones, not the dead ones) reach a
cleared area and are attacked as the creatures drop down from the
trees. HEY...Its Mardi Gras!!! Hercules and Iolaus are quickly
surrounded by people in animal masks swinging sticks and ropes.
Unfortunately they are not throwing baubles and candy. Guess it's
not Mardi Gras after all. Nope, Iolaus is being throttled and
Hercules has both arms restrained. The battle turns in our favor.
Suddenly one of the masked creatures climbs a tree like
spiderman. Then all of the masked beasts disappear up in the
trees. Everyone is regrouping. It's eerily quiet.
Hercules and Iolaus walk slowly along
listening and looking around carefully. YOWZER!! Iolaus' feet are
grabbed from the ground and he stumbles. His sword is dropped, a
hand pulls it into the earth. Hercules reaches in and pulls out a
beast. And the battle is on again. Our heroes are surrounded by
the Mardi Gras rejects. And they are twirling their sticks giving
me a pounding headache. Do not watch this with a hangover.
Luckily both Hercules and Iolaus get swords. I don't know how,
'cause the twirling sticks had me hypnotised and nauseous.
UH OH, Iolaus got his face nicked. He
is bleeding and very angry. He runs off after one of the masked
beasts. Hercules yells at him "Stay at my back." Iolaus does not
listen or does not hear him. Now they are both surrounded and
alone. Dumb Iolaus. Iolaus rips the mask off of one of the beasts
and discovers a woman. She has really great hair. I am jealous. I
hate her. Iolaus turns to Hercules and yells "...its a woman."
Very perceptive. OUCH...he gets a sword in the gut. Poor dumb
Iolaus. Hercules runs to him. "We fought well you and me...didn't
we" says Iolaus. Then he dies.
Hercules is again surrounded by the
women. One Amazon lifts her mask and says "No, the Queen will
want to kill him." HEY...IT'S
XENA!!! Isn't it? Nah..it just looks alot like her. HHHUUMM
They trundle the Son of Zeus back to their camp. He is sweaty
and topless. YIPPEE!! He is tied up like a trophy. I have
to go find this jungle and go do me some hunting. Anyhow,
some old crone in the Amazon camp offers some money as Hercules
is being wheeled in. Lysia (Xena-look-a-like) says "No, this
is for the Queen." Old crone retorts "No, not the man...the
horse."
We see all women in the camp. Younger
girls are being trained to be Amazons. Men are bad...bbaaaddd.
Hercules is taken to the Queen and told to wash her feet. He
refuses. The Queen congratulates her Amazons for capturing
Hercules, the Champion of Men. Hercules is quite upset with the
whole dead Iolaus thing. The term 'murdering b*tch' was
mentioned. The Queen says "Hey, you were coming to destroy us.
Or were you just lost wandering in the woods?" Hercules says "We
were sent to destroy beasts, we didn't know the beasts were you."
Queen: "We are not beasts...we are women." (I am woman...hear me
roar, in numbers too big to ignore...yada yada yada)
This is all the start of a battle of
words between Hercules and The Amazon Queen Hippolyta. You don't
know me...no, you don't know me...back and forth. Hey...they just
met. How could they know each other? DUH. Anyhow..Hippolyta sends
Hercules on a journey to live his life again...to see who he
really is. She does this by blowing out a candle in his face.
This could put a new spin on blowing out candles on birthday
cakes.
We see Hercules shrinking into baby
Hercules. There is Alcmene and Zeus. Zeus tells baby Hercules
male superiority stuff. Then Hercules is a young boy. Hercules
and Iolaus are taught that emotions are for the weak...women.
Have any emotions...grind them to dust. Also we see the beginning
of their male bonding 'fighting back to back' mantra. They
decided that they would die together. OOOOHHH. To Bad. Hercules
should have done the decent thing and run himself through. Oh
well. We go to a replay of Hercules and Iolaus fighting the
Amazons. I guess it is just a reminder of what happened. Like we
are going to forget. DUH.
Back to Hercules...OH MY G*D!!! He is
in a fetal position on the floor and he is NAKED!!!! Naked as a
jaybird...birthday suit...not a stitch on. Bare B*tt NAKED. Darn
it. Hippolyta throws him some clothes. B*tch. Hercules is
grieving over Iolaus. Hippolyta is surprised by this spark of
humanity. She asks him "Can you love a woman like you loved
Iolaus?" Hercules tells her that he can change. She says "NO." He
says that she has become just like the men she hates. Good come
back by Hercules. The gauntlet has been thrown. Hippolyta has had
enough (she's chicken) and lowers a cage over Hercules.
Three young women arrive at Hercules'
cage curious about him...and men in general. One of them asks "Is
it true men and women live together in other places?" Another
asks of a small boy about ten in Gargarensia. He is fair-haired
and has a freckle on his right check. Hercules met this boy at
the village. It is Franco...the son of the lone survivor.
Hercules realizes that this woman is Franco's mother. She denies
it. (Too late.)
Suddenly Lysia (X-L-A-L) arrives and
shoos them away. She says "No one is to talk to this dog. If it
was up to me he wouldn't be caged, he would be buried."
(Yikes..who put that chip on her shoulder?) She leaves and up
pops Zeus on the other side of the cage. He admires the fire in
Lysia's eyes. "She is all fire." Hercules admits that it's not
the cage that is keeping him here. He could break out if he
wanted to, but he is intrigued by Queen Hippolyta. (Hercules has
a crush.) Zeus warns his son "You mess around with the
Amazons...Hera's favorites...you will make her very unhappy."
Go to Hippolyta talking to a mirror and
Hera. (Mirror mirror on the wall..yada yada yada.) She thanks
Hera for helping defeat Hercules. Hera wants to know why he is
still alive. (Because he is a major stud muffin...DUH.) Hippolyta
is not sure he is the enemy. (Hippolyta has a crush, too...b*tch)
Hera wants him killed and for her to carry out an attack on
Gargarensia. Lysia (X-L-A-L) goes to get the others ready for the
attack. Queen goes to get her sword. Hercules has flown the coop.
We go to Hercules at the male village
warning them of the impending attack. "Get your weapons" he says.
They don't have weapons. They are just farmers. (Get your
rutabegas and carrots...will kill them with vegetables!) UH OH
"There is something more we need to tell you about the 'attack',"
Hercules is told.
Go to the moon rising. Amazons
preparing for the 'attack.' Much dancing, spreading of oils and
primping...the usual preparations before a date. Except for the
weapons. Queen Hippolyta gives a pep talk "Take what you need,
but be quick. Stay only till the sound of the horn. Then we ride
away. TO YOUR HORSES!!!"
Go to Hercules plotting with the men.
"Remember what I told you." He is to take care of the horn. And
the women arrive...decked out in the Mardi Gras masks. The Queen
warns the Amazons that Hercules could have set a trap. He has!!!
It is 'courting time.' Various male villagers say "Lets
talk..tell me about yourself... tell me your name, I wrote you a
love song but without your name it has no title. (AAAHHH..how
sweet.) Franco meets his mother.
We go to Lysia (you know who she looks
like) who enters a tent where Zeus is. Zeus says "Please be
gentle with me, or rough if you like." He offers her a chocolate.
Lysia says "The rules are, no talk just sex." Zeus
giggles...reclines...and says "As you wish."
Hercules comes upon Queen Hippolyta
grooming her horse. The battle of words continues. Hippolyta
can't find it in her heart to kill Hercules even though she knows
that Hera wishes it. Hercules asks her not to blow the horn and
separate the men and women. They deserve and need each other.
Hercules and Hippolyta kiss each other and a different battle
starts, involving wrestling and the earth moving.
It's morning and there is much smiling,
talking, giggling and tickling occurring through out the village.
Lysia and Zeus are cooing. YUCK. Hippolyta says it has gone on
long enough and sounds the horn.
Go to the men absolutely giddy. They
are boasting, bragging and strutting around like bandy roosters.
"The women will come back 'cause they will want more. Our clothes
will be mended and we will eat better...yippee." (Strut strut
cluck cluck) Hercules shames them because that attitude got them
in this mess in the first place and they have to change.
Go to the Amazon camp. The women are
talking about how great the night was. The Queen hears how happy
they all are. Lysia admits that she and her man did not get
around to talking that much. YUCK. Hippolyta goes to the mirror
to talk to Hera. Hera attempts to poison Hippolyta's mind against
Hercules. The Queen refuses to listen and says that there will be
no more commands. The mirror shatters and Hera takes over
Hippolyta's body. Hera tells Lysia that "We ride to Gargarensia,
and no man is to be left alive." Lysia is unhappy but does not
wish to go against her Queen. She tells the other Amazons "This
time we fight."
Male villager warns the rest of the men
that the Amazons are coming. We then see all the men standing
holding flowers and sniffing themselves...preening. One man rubs
the flowers under his armpits. (Thank god for deodorant) The
Amazons attack and the men scatter. Hera/Hippolyta yells "Kill
them all." The lone survivor (Pithas) calls to the mother of his
child. Hera says to kill him. Lysia jumps off her horse to do it
but the mother of his child yells to her "No, don't." Lysia
doesn't and Hera, disgusted, jumps off her horse "I'll do it."
Hercules stops her. He realizes that this is not Hippolyta but
the evil Hera. To defeat Hera will probably mean killing
Hippolyta.
Hercules rides out of the camp, causing
Hera to follow, therefore luring her away from the others. Isn't
he GREAT!!! Zeus is no help. Zeus is afraid of Hera. Hercules
tries to talk to Hippolyta, he tells her to "fight this." Hera
attacks him repeatedly. Pithas stops Hera from possibly killing
Hercules and Hera rewards him by cutting his throat. Hercules
yells "NO" and at this time does fight back. He has Hera against
a tree. Hera says "Go ahead, kill me." Hercules says "No, you
can't make me hurt her." He walks away to a waterfall and Hera
follows him. Hercules is on a bridge. Hera says "It's either
fight or die." Hercules refuses to hurt Hippolyta. Hera says "I
won't let both of you live." Hercules says "OK" and drops his
stick. "Kill me." He cannot stand the pain of living without
Hippolyta. Hera says "Ok, then live without her." She then jumps
into the waterfall killing Hippolyta.
Go to the village. Hercules carries in
a very dead and wet Hippolyta. Franco asks about his dad. He is
told "He was a good man, but sometimes we loose the people we
love."
Hercules is unhappy that three good
people have died. He tell Zeus to use the candle to change all
that has happened. Zeus says it's so complicated to change the
course of events." The stars, planets, and the other gods...they
would go insane. The headaches this would cause." Hera will be
angry. Zeus blows out the candle in Hercules' face. Everything
goes in reverse till we are back in the dining room with Onya
serving dinner. Hercules looks stunned. Iolaus asks if he is
alright. Hercules jumps up and says "It is d*mn*d good to see
you." Iolaus tell him that he doesn't have to eat Onya's cooking
but Hercules says "it's the best stew he has ever eaten." UH OH
Pithas has just appeared at the window. Hercules says "It's only
Pithas." and goes to talk to him. Iolaus is sniffing the stew,
tasting it using his finger and wrinkling his cute nose.
Obviously the way to Iolaus' heart is not through his stomach.
Hercules tells Pithas to treat the Amazons as equals and not as
enemies. Maybe wash their feet. This whole adventure ends with
Hercules knowing there is a woman out there for him... Hippolyta.
SYNOPSIS 2:
Synopsis by Vicky Schwartz.
It all starts off in a dark forest. We
see a close up of three scared men whispering, trying to hide
from something. They comment on how they should turn back, and
how no one has ever made it out alive. We see something
watching, and following them. One of the men is grabbed and
beaten to death, the second grabbed and killed. The third man
runs as fast as he can he and barely makes it out to the edge of
the forest with the creature hot on his tail, but the creature
stops. The man, whose name is Pithas, continues on.
We see a village with a bunch of boys
playing catch. A woman is washing her husband's feet. The boys
miss the ball and a girl picks it up, asking if she can play.
The answer is no. They tell her to go play with a doll or
something. The mother concurs, asking her to come inside and
help cook. A boy from the groups looks down the road, then
dashes off recklessly to where Iolaus is sitting. The boys tells
Iolaus, "He's" coming down the road. Iolaus grabs a sword and
sneaks around jumping to attack...Hercules, Hercules wins the
attack. Iolaus says that its bad luck to kill a groom before his
wedding, Hercules agrees and promises to kill him after his
wedding. They both get a good laugh as Hercules congratulates
Iolaus. As they are catching up on what they've missed, during
their conversation Hercules discovers that Iolaus's wife cost
alot, can't cook, can't care for animals, and can't sew, but is
beautiful.
Hercules and Iolaus hear a child crying
and they ask her what is wrong. She is surrounded by bones of
men, she tells Hercules that a monster ate her father. As
Hercules comes closer the child mutates, first strangling him,
then melting into the ground. Out of the ground leaps a
snake/slug like animal with one of those spitting dinosaur's
head. After Hercules beheads it they start to walk away, but it
rises wriggles and grows two heads in place of the one beheaded
one. He beheads one of the heads, two grow in its place,
totaling three heads. As it attacks him he punches it away,
telling Iolaus to grab the torch on Hera's temple. After Iolaus
gets the torch he is grabbed by the monster. Hercules beheads
it, freeing Iolaus, before two heads can spring from that
point he pins the two heads to a tree with his sword Iolaus hands
him the torch and Hercules lights the one severed neck on fire,
it burns through it, turning it to dust. All that is left is a
peacock feather, enraged Hercules uses the torch to smash Hera's
peacock idol. Iolaus gets his sword from the tree and they
continue on.
They arrive at Hercules' mother's
house. He sneaks up behind his mother, Alcmene, who is arranging
flowers. She congratulates Iolaus, too. Before Iolaus leaves
for his fiancee's house, her name is Onya, he invites them to
dinner. Alcmene washes Hercules' feet, he presents her with
spices from Alturia. She then goes off to get a bandage for his
wound.
Zeus shows up to talk to his son,
Hercules. He comments on how Alcmene still loves him, then how
he can't stop Hera. Zeus tells Hercules how proud he is of him,
and he's sorry for being a bad father.
Pithas is wandering though town. Two
men harass a girl, Pithas bumps into that girl and apologizes for
bumping into her as though scared of her.
At Onya's house Iolaus is helping her
prepare dinner, then goes out to talk to Hercules. She brings
out the food to serve, then screams, a man was looking in the
window. Hercules goes out and demands explanation. Pithas
explains that his village is under attack by beasts from the
surrounding woods. They are prisoners in their own village,
Gargarensia.
Iolaus talks Hercules into bringing him
along, as their last chance to fight together, and as his wedding
present. Onya tells Hercules she is counting on him to bring
Iolaus back to her, to marry her.
They trudge through forested areas past
a lake with a waterfall. They climb over frozen mountains. In
the village below and man runs down a log bridge into the village
pushing aside a hog. He announces that they're back, the whole
village gets excited. All the villagers comes forth, the
villagers are all men, not a women in sight. Iolaus and Hercules
ask about this, Pithas responds that the beasts took them years
ago. Hercules asks then how are their young boys in the village.
The explain that they find them on the shore and care for them as
their own.
Hercules and Iolaus head out into the
woods. They comment on how petrified the men were. Iolaus
comments on how Hercules never carries a sword. They continue on
through the forest, they see, stung up on a tree, the two dead
men from earlier. They hear a noise over in a clearing and rush
over toward it, ready for a fight. They feel the creatures
watching them.
Lots of these "beasts" jump down from
the trees surrounding them. They wield various weapons. The
first attack is by ropes, one almost strangles Iolaus. A fight
ensues. After it seems obvious to the creatures they won't win
this one, they retreat up into the trees. Everything looks as
though nothing had happened. Hercules and Iolaus continue to
walk through the clearing, which is covered in wood chips. Hands
reach up from the wood chips, grabbing their ankles, and Iolaus's
sword. Hercules walks on slowly, then pulls up from under the
wood chips a "beast" suddenly from the ground pops lots of
creatures again surrounding them. Another fight ensues with
swords and fists flying. Hercules warns Iolaus to be careful,
Iolaus responds, "Careful dies, reckless kills!" Iolaus is hurt
by one of the creatures, he runs off with a vengeance to hurt the
creature. He gets a hold of it, her mask comes off. Iolaus
shouts, "They're women!" as she stabs him. Hercules rushes to
Iolaus, telling him he can't die, they promised to go out
together. Iolaus dies and Hercules is captured.
The women's Calvary surrounds him and
brings him through their camp to the Queen. The camp contains
only women, militant woman, welding swords, teaching fighting
skills. He is brought to the Queen, her name is Hippolyta. He
discovers he is in the city of Amazons. Lysia pushes him to the
ground, he is told to wash Hippolyta's feet, he refuses. She
says
how he won't do a women's job, then goes on about how weak he is.
Her troops leave and she is left with Hercules. They debate over
how women are treated, what makes a man, or a women. Hippolyta
picks up a blue candle, obviously "magical" and makes Hercules
relive through moments of his life through dreams.
First we see him as a young child,
Alcmene leaves the room, Zeus shows up. He talks to baby
Hercules about women. Hippolyta explains that even as infants
boys are taught women are nothing. Women are toys to be used
then thrown away. She comments on how that thinking doesn't
change as he gets older.
Second we see Hercules and Iolaus in
fighting class. They listen to their instructor as he tells them
some basic rules, three of which are; (1) when you fight, fight
to the death; (2) emotions are for the girls, the weak, get rid
of them; and (3) you are known by the enemies you make, so make
good ones. Hercules and Iolaus promise to die together.
Hippolyta comments, when has a man brought life into this world?
Men only bring death.
Finally we see the reckless Iolaus from
earlier. Hercules and her debate again. She says how its amazing
but a spark of humanity may have survived in him. Then walks off
shouting, men can learn nothing, only how to deceive. Hercules
comes back with the fact they've become exactly like the men they
hate. He is locked in a cage.
Three Amazons show up, the first is a
young girl who's never seen a man. The second is a girl of about
twenty who asks Hercules if its true that in someplace men and
women live together. The third is older than thirty, she asks if
when Hercules was in the village he saw a boy of about ten, and
was he doing well. Hercules answered that his name was Franco
and he was doing well, was that her son. She denied it.
Lysia walks in shooing them away, then
tells Hercules if she was in charge he'd be dead already. Zeus
shows up after she leaves. He explains you never can understand
women, and how is that cage keeping the mighty Hercules. Hercules
explains its not the cage keeping him, its Hippolyta. He says to
Zeus that he is wrong about women. Zeus then warns him the
Amazons are Hera's favorite so watch out.
We see Hippolyta praying to Hera. Hera
gives orders to Hippolyta, kill Hercules then attack Gargarensia.
Hippolyta goes to kill Hercules but he's already escaped to warn
Gargarensia. Back in Gargarensia Hercules is telling the men to
get ready to defend themselves. Pithas then has to explain that
the Amazons don't come to kill.
Back in the Amazon village The warriors
prepare for the attack. Hippolyta reminds them to stay only
until the sound of the horn. They ride on the village. In the
village Hercules tells the men they know what to do so go do it.
They go off to prepare.
When the first Amazon enters the man's
house she orders "Take off your clothes." He says that first he'd
like to talk about her, maybe share a drink, so they do. The
second man's house he is ordered to take off his clothes, but
first asks for her name, because he wrote her a love song.
Without her name it has no title. At the third house Franco asks
to see his mothers face. Pithas and her talk about their
children. Lysia is entertained by Zeus. Hippolyta is stopped
from blowing the horn by Hercules. In the morning the Amazons
are still there, Hippolyta finally blows the horn. They no
longer hate each other when they get back to their homes, the
women enjoyed themselves. They talk happily about what happened.
Hippolyta is praying to Hera. Hera
possess Hyppolyta after she disobeyed her. Hera is in
Hippolyta's
body now, controlling her. Lysia goes to thank Hippolyta for
delaying the blowing of the horn, saying the women have never
been so happy. Hera (everyone else is seeing her as Hippolyta)
demands an attack on Gargarensia, to burn it to the ground, and
kill every living thing.
The men are ready at the edge of the
village with bouquets of flowers. The women ride on, the men
flee, the women trample, break kill and burn everything in their
path. The fighting stops, so Hera dismounts, she and Hercules
fight, he can' kill her because he doesn't want to hurt
Hippolyta. He rides off and Hera takes off after him. Zeus
shows up and tells Hercules to run, to keep out of her way.
Hercules states that he can't count on help from him. Zeus
disappears. Hera and Hercules fight again. Hera is doing well
because Hercules won't hurt Hippolyta, he is bleeding from the
head. Hercules tries to get through to Hippolyta but he can't.
Hera is about to kill him when Pithas saves him, causing Hera to
kill Pithas. Hera forces Hercules to a bridge, it is broken and
it falls off into a waterfall, and rocky bottom. Hera states she
won't let both of them live, one must die. Hercules says that if
one must die it should be him, Hera laughs. She comments on, how
of all things it would be love that kills the great Hercules.
She laughs and says well then live without her, and jumps off the
bridge, killing Hippolyta.
Hercules caries Hippolyta's body back
to the village, the Amazons take it and put it on the horse.
Franco cries about losing his father. Hercules runs to
Hippolyta's temple, he lights the blue magic candle. Zeus shows
up, telling Hercules he can't turn back time, it would cause too
much trouble. Finally Hercules convinces Zeus, and Zeus blows on
the candle. Time reverses, we see Hercules go backwards through
the days until he's back at Onya's house as she screams about the
man in the window. Hercules goes out, tells Pithas what to do,
the bewildered Pithas goes back to his village. The plan works.
Iolaus lives and Gargarensia is saved.
COMMENTARY:
This commentary is by Cathy.
This was like a "New Zealand"
travelogue. Lots of beautiful scenery and exotic locales of this
gorgeous country.
Want to see Lucy Lawless as a very
bland Amazon? The best thing this woman ever did was dye her hair
black. There is nothing striking about her in this movie. As
"Xena" she is more solid body-wise and refined in her looks. Now
I see why Tapert and Raimi did not originally choose her and had
picked a bevy of other actresses to be the show's star. I would
not have picked her to be my "Xena" either. It is a real credit
to Lucy Lalwess for bringing "Xena" to life. She deserves that
expensive Mercedes, and if she wants a lear jet too, hey you go
girl!
I loved the PREVIEWS in this
movie....we are shown a young Renee O'Connor as she appears in
"The Lost Kingdom" and another of my favorite people, Robert
Trebor (Salmoneous).
Now, to the movie. I had some problems
with the plot. Essentially, the women of a particular village
have all disappeared. Whenever the men go after them, they are
attacked by strange "beasts", which we find out later are really
Amazons in full battle gear. Their costumes mimic lions, tigers
and other forest creatures. And can they kick *ss! They even
manage to beat up and capture Hercules.
Unfortunately, Iolaus is killed early
on in the movie by the Amazons. Hercules is bodily taken to the
Amazon village to meet the queen played fantastically by Roma
Downey and she is no angel. She has a tall, mousey haired
lieutenant, played by our very own Lucy Lawless! Her name is
Lysia, and you can see shades of you-know-who in her when she
fights.
On certain nights of the year these
Amazons attack the men's village, and this is where I had a
problem with this movie, are they after treasure? No. All they
want is sex. Yes, you heard me, SEX. Now if Lucy Lawless dressed
in leather came into YOUR bedroom demanding sex from you, would
any man in the world live in fear of that? Or any woman either? A
whole group of leather clad Amazon babes looking for nothing but
to be knocked up. And the men are so afraid Hercules has to
intervene? PLEASE!
Seems the Amazons do this periodically
to have babies to carry on the Amazon nation. Male babies are not
desirable and are left by the river for the villagers to find.
Hercules has a talk with these men. "Woo them" he says, "romance
them and they will stay with you forever". What a sexist bunch of
crap this is. The Amazons throw away their culture and all they
stand for a few hours more of sex with the men? ACCKKK! Of course
ol' Herc is after Roma herself, who is in league with Hera, his
arch nemesis. But, Herc is sooo irresistable, that Roma spends
all night with him, and doesn't blow her horn calling all the
Amazon women back to their village (they only stay long enough to
get knocked up). Now all the Amazons want to go live with the men
all the time. By the way, you must watch this to see who Lucy
Lawless sleeps with -- I am not telling!
Hera takes over the queen's body and
orders the Amazon women to go to the village and kill all the
men. Of course they cannot do it now. So Roma (Hera) rides off
and Herc goes after her. She ends up flinging herself off a
waterfall to her death so Herc has lost another love.
Hercules goes back to the village and
is able to turn back time with Zeus's help, so Iolaus never dies
and the other men of the village do not die as well. The Amazon
women grab their dishtowels and aprons to stay with the men as
housewifes. Gee, I would too though, what woman alive would want
to hunt & row their own food, dance around the campfire at night
with their sisters, dress in leather garb and learn the ways of
the forest and how to defend themselves with the staff and the
bow? Thank goodness Hercules set them straight. As he said in the
beginning of the movie, "Give a woman too much power and look
what happens".
This movie is no academy award winner,
but is your chance to see a wonderful performance by Roma Downey
and an early work of Lucy Lawless
TALES OF THE HERCAVERSE
07-19-98. Three actresses were considered for the part of Hippolyta: Vanessa Angel (who also missed getting the XENA lead), Elizabeth Hurley (yup, the model who was in Austin Powers), and Roma Downey (who got the role). Do we see a pattern yet? It seems they were going for a certain look and did not care whether the actress could meet the demand of such strenuous roles nor even looked like they could. At this point they were definitely remaining in the fantasy mold, and why not, it was only a one-shot deal. They did not have to have the actress do this daily for an entire season's worth of episodes. Of course, they still wanted Vanessa Angel for Xena but lucked out when Angel developed an illness and was not able to make the flight to New Zealand and they replaced her with Lucy Lawless, who actually added to the realism of the show. Now THAT is incredible luck.
02-04-98. Kim Michalis also played Young Alcmene in HTLJ's
ARMAGEDDON
PART 1 (H72/413).
02-04-98. AMAZON WOMEN was the
precedent for HOOVES AND HARLOT (10/110), THE QUEST (37/213), A
NECESSARY EVIL (38/214), PRODIGAL SISTER (H66/407), MATERNAL INSTINCT (57/311).
HIGHLIGHTS & THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR:
07-16-99. From Debbie Roche. Alot of stuff from the movies contradict the series. For example Iolaus
gets married in the first movie. Time travel. Herc went back in time in the first movie to erase some of the events, then he went back again in the series and as a result never
married Serena, whose to say he doesn't do it again and go back and alter
the academy days?
07-15-99. From novashanti.
In the movie Hercules and the Amazon Women, it shows Hercules' flashbacks of his training and Lilith wasn't there [as shown on the series YOUNG HERCULES]. He views women as being weaker than men and in need of their protection. If he'd met Amazons before and trained with Lilith, how did he grow up to think that way?
Sorbo in the nude?
TRANSCRIPT
Click here to read a transcript of HERCULES AND THE AMAZON WOMEN.
