THE OFFICIAL GUIDE TO CLAN MacGAB AND THE GABBERISH LEXICON
Special WHOOSH Edition, Abridged
IAXS Project #125
Edited by Kate Maynard (ccarter@shentel.net)
Content © 1996 held by author
WHOOSH! edition © 1996 held by Whoosh!
5733 words

Published in association with The Puppet's Playground for Creative Gab Studies in conjunction with Saint Gabbarella's School for Wayward Bards




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The clan symbol of Clan MacGab



INTRODUCTION

by Carmen Carter
(ccarter@shentel.net)

[1] As we are all aware, the internet is a breeding ground for jokes, puns, skits and other forms of humor centered on XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS. However, the Xenaverse mailing list has also given rise to a special form of wit known as Gabberish. Over the past few months, Gabrielle and her occupation as bard have been the basis for puns and word play among an enthusiastic group of fans.

[2] Kate Maynard (aka Perfessor Puppet), the instigator of this madness, pulled together these postings into an official Lexicon, which presents the history of Clan MacGab, an off-the-wall creation of internet psyches in collision. Kate's original post sparked a landslide of responses, which have been organized into the terminology section of the Lexicon. The appendix includes some of the messages themselves, which shows how the thread developed.

[3] On Xenaverse, Gabrielle has been a focus for any number of discussions ranging from the light-hearted Gabberish to serious analytical discourse on the importance of her character as an heroic archetype. Our thanks to Renee O'Connor for doing such a great job with a wonderful character.

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT CLAN MacGAB

An Introduction by Perfessor Puppet....

[4] This is a classic case of less is more, or at least more than you will ever want to know. Clan MacGab is an erudite if somewhat eccentric collective of ROCkers, ROCettes, Gabfans, Gabatics and Gabriellites who inhabit that anomalous cyberphenomenom known as XENAVERSE.

[5] Lacking a secret handshake, or even shame, members of Clan MacGab devised to create their own internet dialect, called Gabberish. MacGabbers around the world as we know it have dedicated themselves to the exploration/exaltation of Bardish cultcha lost to the ages, as well as Gabbish influences on contemporary society.

[6] This first installment of THE OFFICIAL GUIDE TO CLAN MacGAB and the GABBERISH LEXICON is dedicated to Renee O'Connor, Goddess Emeritus of Clan MacGab, and who, in our eyes, can do no wrong...unless she happens to have an aversion to puppets.

THE GUILTY BARDIES...A ROLL CALL OF GABBERFLUENT CONTRIBUTORS

With special thanks to Spikus and Penth, Co-Warlords of Xenaverse, and to Steven Sears, who will vouch for our insanity.

HOW IT ALL BEGAN....

Perfessor Puppet, a notorious sock of a Gabfan, writes to Xenaverse following an extended flamewar concerning the legality of using the word "Xenite":

[7] "With all due respect to the recent discussions of - dare I say it? - XENITE terminology, I must admit that this unrepentant Gabfan felt somewhat insulated from the heat of those (now extinguished) flamewars. However, and to my horror, I have suddenly become aware of some type of residual paranoia that has polluted the Puppet's Playground Institute for Creative Gab Studies.

[8] "Now every time I use a phrase from the Official Gabberish Lexicon, Collegiate Edition (abridged), I start looking for hidden microphones, flies on the wall, carefully disguised video surveillance cameras (I just murdered my toaster, having convinced myself it was looking at me rather strangely) and corporate lawyers who look remarkably like Scottish terriers.

[9] "The question is: can a puppet be sued for infringement of copyright? If Carmen types the words Gabfan, Gabbing plaster, Gabberwocky, Gabriellite, Bardbarella, et al, should she be held responsible for any potential lawsuits, or is she just reporting some hearsay plucked from the sock drawer?

[10] "Well, in order to circumvent any legal hassles that might pop up in the future, I've taken the liberty of writing the Lord High Constable of Scotland, seeking official recognition for the Clan MacGab Society.

[11] "From my standpoint, there would be plenty of advantages, not the least of which is that any party daring to sue the clan would have to be sequestered for the duration of the trial and fed nothing but Scottish food until a verdict was reached. (Holy Haggis Hurl!) Clan members would be honor bound to wear lots of funny clothes sans underwear and gather once a year at Grandfather Mountain for the traditional Hellene- Caledonian Gabgames, where we would drink lots of single malt whisky and throw telephone poles just for fun. (I have my own telephone pole with the name "Talmadeus" written on it; but then, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar). Best of all, though, is the chance to practice the Gabberish dialect without fear of lawsuits, if not ridicule.

[12] "Therefore, I have submitted to the Lord High Constable the following outline for the formation of the Clan MacGab Society: 


"CLAN MacGAB

"Crest: On a chapeau, a salamander, salient        
"Motto: Hummers to the Queen
"War Cry: Whoops!
"Phylum: Gabrachiopoteidaia

"SEPT FAMILIES: Gabboon, Gabwart, Gabstein, O'Gabby,
Gabouillabaise, Gabfly, Gabski, D'Gablio, Van Gab,
Gabbermeir and MacGab. All alternate spellings, aliases
and puppets acceptable as per federal guidelines for
the witness protection program.

"Hmmmmm....This could work!"

[13] After a time, the Perfessor followed with this post: 


"******* UPDATE ON THE CLAN MacGAB SOCIETY *******

"It's OFFICIAL! The formation of the CLAN MacGAB
SOCIETY has been unceremoniously rejected by the Lord
High Constable of Scotland, leaving us free to make up
all of our own rules as we go along. What a relief! [I
was a little suspicious anyway when he inquired whether
the Gabster might qualify as the next Princess of
Wales.] Anyway, now that we're unofficial and underway,
the lessons begin. We're going to start with
"Gabberish" first, and please feel free to add your own
words/ phrases to the lexicon. We're also soliciting
suggestions for the colors of the Clan MacGab tartan. 

[14] "LESSON #1

"GABBERISH: The official lexicon of the Poteidaian
Potentate of Gabdom. 

"BARDBARELLA: Renee O'Connor as Gabrielle as Xena as
played by Lucy Lawless; usually in reference to THE
GREATER GOOD (#21), but can also refer to any scene or
episode in which the Gab is uncharacteristically riled.
Proper usage: "Hey, was she doing a Bardbarella or
what!"

"GABBING PLASTER: The official art material of Gabdom.

"GABOUILLABAISE: Poteidaian fast food. Usually anything
that comes with a side order of nachos and a margarita.

"WHOOPS!: War cry of Clan MacGab; the origins of the
war cry are still somewhat obscure, but rumor has it
that Lucy herself was responsible when, during the
resuscitation scene in IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE
(#23), her fist missed its mark by a crucial few
inches.

"GABRIGGEPHOBIA: [from the root word brigge, ME.] A
fear of suspension bridges, especially those
overlooking bottomless pits and held up by rotting
twine.

"GABRIELLITE, GABFAN: Bardophiles.

"ROCkers: Serious Renee O'Connor fans. We don't mess
around. 

"*Next Week's lesson: Gabberish sports terminology.

"Adios...

"Perfessor Puppet --- 'I have many *useless* skills!'"

[15] And then the ball started rolling, as Gabfans and ROCkers from Sweden to New Zealand checked in at MacGab Headquarters. The result of this enthusiastic participation was the following Gabberish Lexicon



THE GABBERISH LEXICON

Your Handy-Dandy Guide to the Bardly Life




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