Whoosh! After playing opposite one too many inanimate objects, Lena herself becomes inanimate
Lena is briefly under the "expert"
care of Dr. Dave and Dr. Janelle

Lena Kundera

September 22, 2003

(Lena appearance)
Last update: 10/06/03

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COMMENTARY 1 by Solvay


Lena Kundera (Olga Sosnovska)
Boyd Larraby
Kendall Hart
Dr. Dave
Dr. Janelle


Lena is rushed to the clinic and then sent to the hospital in all of 25 seconds of face time!


From The Official Site at ABC.com:

Kendall and Boyd take an unconscious Lena to the clinic and her life is saved...

From About All My Children

Kendall bursts into the clinic calling out that they need some help! Boyd carries the unconscious Lena, and Dr. Anderson directs him to a room. Kendall gives David the empty box of poison and tells him that’s what Lena took. Advertisement

“For heaven’s sake, when is it going to end?” he exclaims. He and Janelle say they’ll do their best to save her, and ask Kendall and Boyd to give them room to work. As Janelle closes the door, Kendall pleads, “If Bianca finds out about this, it will kill her!”

Kendall shakes her head as she says Lena is such a coward to do this now, when Bianca’s had so much to deal with, and still so much ahead of her! Boyd agrees, and wishes Bianca knew how much Kendall cares about her. Kendall insists she can’t worry about that now; she has to focus her energy on what they need to do. Boyd realizes how late it is, and says they’ve got to go now. Kendall agrees she can’t miss her meeting with Mr. Spinelli at the meat packing plant and can’t let that building go down, but she has to stay here! What if Bianca finds out Lena doesn’t make it, and she wasn’t here? She wants Boyd to go over there now and tell him she’s been delayed by an emergency, and not to let him leave! Boyd leaves, agreeing he’ll hold him down himself if he has to. David comes out of the examining room, and Kendall asks if Lena’s going to make it?

Kendall wonders why Lena has to go to the hospital if she’s better, and David explains they’re not equipped to do the type of follow-up Lena needs; when she’s strong enough, they’ll do a full psychological evaluation. He tells Kendall she did a great job and saved her life, and she asks if there’s any way they can keep this news from getting out? She wants to keep Bianca from finding this out; if she can keep Bianca from ever knowing this, then she’ll really think she did something...

From Soap Slut

No mention of Lena, sniff.


This all gay recap is by C.K..
Read all the All Gay Re-caps at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheAllGayRecap/.

Lena parts are indicated in red for those who only want a Lena fix


The Set-Up – At his house, Adam doesn’t remember adding Mary’s name to the list; blinded by her shiny bling bling broach, he also doesn’t believe she’s homeless and instead wonders what her latest scheme might be. Adam? You’re it.

At the boathouse, Greenlee is winded after having jogged all the way around the building, huh, once. The canoe clips her right arm and she proceeds to hold the left. She runs into Juan Pablo, who stopped there to rest after having spent the day playing lawn tennis.

At the clinic, Kendall clears the area for Boyd, who is carrying Lena’s unconscious body inside. David and Dr. what’s her name look after Lena while Kendall worries about what is really important.

Kendall: "If Bianca finds out about this, it’ll kill her."

Yes, Bianca needs to be protected at all costs from real life’s most improper intrusions. Yeah yeah, so she doesn’t need one more thing, blah blah, you bunch of bleeding hearts! God forbid anything should shake her off her catatonic stupor!

Outside the penthouse, Jack attempts to assess whether Bianca has chosen to abort VolderFetus on her own and not to please her mother. Speaking of the devil, Erica interrupts the latest navel-gazing attempt by opening the door and swallowing Bianca in the greatest Abort The Fetus hug ever, which is accompanied by the You’re Making The Right Decision serenade.

The Penthouse – Erica praises Bianca’s decision to ask David to "terminate" the pregnancy as if she’d really chosen a china pattern; she’s also happy that Maggie will be going with Bianca, so that they can skip and hop to the clinic while singing Kumbaya – as all the bestest friends that ever bested do.

Erica would like to go with Bianca, but she refuses and says that dealing with both their pain makes it harder; once Maggie arrives, Erica asks her to "not leave [Bianca] for a second."

Maggie: "Of course not: I’ll take care of her."

Oh, and there are so many who’d like to "take care" of you, too, Maggie. So, so many.

Once Bianca and Maggie skip and hop away, Jack accuses Erica of having influenced Bianca’s decision so much that she is "trying to rewrite [Erica’s] history with Kendall." One can only hope she’ll rewrite all the right parts.

The Clinic – Kendall thinks Lena’s attempted suicide makes her a coward and that her timing sucks.

Yeah, next time, Lena had better schedule her crisis nowhere between the "I’m breaking up with you" and the "I dare you to jump into the freezing water or I’ll throw you in and oh, by the way, your rape is Lena’s fault." How horribly inconsiderate of Lena to not take Bianca’s feelings into account, especially after Bianca was so careful with hers after having kicked her to the curb, driven over her and backed up so that Maggie could finish the job and lay a wreath over her.

Kendall decides to stay at the clinic – just in case Lena should die - while Boyd goes off to the Pier to meet with Mr. Spinelli: he tells her not to worry, he’ll hold Spinelli down if he has to. But you couldn’t jump over a 5-foot fence?

The Boathouse – While Ryan listens, Greenlee describes him to Juan Pablo, who tells her he thinks he ran into him at the Pine Valley Inn - though Ryan claimed not to know her. Oh, that bastard.

Greenlee tells Juan Pablo something about Ryan embezzling money from his company and flying around the - oh, whatever: Juan Pablo’s socks are pooling around his ankles and, right now, that is infinitely more interesting.

Adam’s Crib – Mary, throwing longing looks at the alcohol, reveals that she left the Pine Valley Inn because living there was akin to being in a fishbowl – a fishbowl which she doesn’t seem to realize is inside a fish tank. Since Adam was kind to her at his brother’s art gallery, she figured they could be "simpatico." Simpatici, you mean? ‘Cause there is more than one of you.

Adam is not buying the "survivor" act, so Mary throws sand in his eyes and discloses that his son J.R. called; judging by the bouncing eyes, I’d guess J.R.’s call is a major event: is yet another insipid character about to rejoin the cast?

The Penthouse – Jack seems to think Bianca’s nervousness is indicative of her uncertainty; Erica feels it’s simply an anticipatory reaction to the "procedure" she’s about to undertake. The procedure? With all this talk of "termination" and "procedure," I'm beginning to think VolderFetus is really a big, ugly, hairy mole on Bianca's ass.

Erica’s about to lose the argument, so she digs a ditch, crawls all the way inside it and tells Jack to go take care of his "brand new daughter" Greenlee and let her deal with Bianca on her own. She crawls out, opens the door, bumps into Chesty LaRue’s fake-o-ramas and bounces back.

Chesty LaRue is there to see Bianca, which leads Erica to conclude she’s the Doctor with whom Bianca spoke the day before; she accuses Chesty of having confused Bianca to the point that she actually considered carrying VolderFetus to term and orders her to "stay away from [her] daughter."

Erica? With an agenda? What?

The Clinic – David informs Kendall that Lena is on her way to the hospital where she’ll undergo a psychological work-up once she’s better; Kendall asks whether they can keep Lena’s you know what away from the attention of you know who. David would like to listen, really, but he’s distracted by the door and the skippers who pass through it; Kendall turns around, sees Bianca and understands – well, everything. Maggie looks on, saying what she usually does: nothing.

The Penthouse – Chesty LaRue is surprised to learn that Bianca is at the clinic as she seemed very uncertain when they spoke – which is why she decided to drop by.

Erica: "Well I think it’s a wonder, with your recent mental problems, that you’re making house calls already."

That ditch just got deeper, didn’t it? Erica doesn’t care about what Jack or anyone else might think: she’s only concerned for Bee-yanka and unhappy that she’s at the clinic, "going through something that no woman should ever go through."

Erica: "She’s feeling more pain and that is killing me. I should be with her but, no: I’m not with her because you thought I should not go there."

Actually, it was Bianca who told you to butt out. In any case, if Lena ever gets better and ever gets to play with the people of Pine Valley as opposed to its doors, guns, poisons, pillars and boxes, you and she will have some common ground: neither one of you, though full of love and desire to help, were wanted.

Adam’s Crib – Mary has a business proposition for Adam.

Mary: "You know that, at one time, I was quite a successful artist, a sculptress."

A sculptress? What’s this, the year 2003 B.C.?

Mary wants Adam to set her up with a studio which, in turn, within 6 months to a year, would provide commissions for him and he’d have her on his side.  That’s an investment plan? It sounds an awful lot like bumming out to me. Adam, bless his stupid little heart, agrees. Filled with good will, Mary tells him that J.R. confided in her that he has trouble "speaking with his father," which leads Mary to conclude that J.R. is "reaching out."

Oh, Mary: there’s nothing like first-hand experience.

The Clinic – Maggie walks Bianca to the waiting area, which is when I notice that long scarf she’s using in lieu of a belt: that must be what she keeps handy for those times when Bianca tries to make a run for her freedom.

Kendall approaches, Maggie and Bianca stand.

Bianca: "It’s ok, you can leave: it’s only for a second."
Maggie: "Not right now, Bianca."
Bianca: "Yes, right now. It’s ok."

Maggie, you demented little troll: step the **** away from Bianca, ok? You’re not helping her! You’re the worst enabler I’ve ever seen and are addicted to this savior complex shit: if you want to help Bianca, then allow her to be informed and loved by everyone and not just by you.

Bianca: "I guess I need you to tell me something."
Kendall: "I’ll tell you anything you need to know. Anything, I will."

Bianca: "Was it really Michael who called you last night?"

It doesn’t matter, Kendall says, because Michael "will never return to Pine Valley" and she would never "do anything that would cause [Bianca] any more harm," something which really resonates with Bianca since she thinks Kendall married AssHat.

Kendall apologizes for the scene she made the previous night; she has no excuse other than this:

Kendall: "I have a tendency to make everything about me."
Bianca: "And we both know where you get that from."

At any other time, I’d have said "Erica," but now it’s a tie between her and Maggie.

Kendall says that the way she was conceived was something she "had to deal with like other people deal with other things," but what she went through "doesn’t compare with" what Bianca has suffered. Maybe not, but does it actually matter?

Kendall: "I want you to do whatever will make you heal, whatever it takes."

Finally, some good advice! Even Bianca is glad Kendall’s there, which just tells me her body will be floating up around the boathouse really soon – and we’ll all know who killed her.

Kendall: "So."
Bianca: "Yeah."

Sniff. I thought it would be more interesting if Kendall were the one pushing Bianca to have an abortion, but I was wrong. That’s right, the crying is getting to me again. Shut up.

Kendall: "For a long time, I didn’t believe that God existed; I just thought it was something made up because really, in my experience, I – nothing could ever be that good. But getting to know you, watching the way you live your life, and how you are, I’m pretty sure that I’ve been wrong."

So, what you’re saying is that out gay people are proof of God’s existence? No wonder Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell are so pissed off!

Kendall tells Bianca that she is "good" and "so beautiful" and she "admires" her and wishes "she could be" her, which sends Kendall in a fit of giggles and makes Bianca look like she’s constipated and needs to burp.

Kendall: "I don’t have a lot to be proud of, but I’m so proud of you and I’m so proud to be your sister: you need to know that. I love you. You do what you need to do Bianca: do what you need to do."

Kendall leaves, Maggie approaches.

Maggie: "What did she say to you?"
Bianca: "It’s ok, I understand."
Maggie: "You understand what?"
Bianca: "She just wants a chance."

Bianca, have you ever spoken with Kendall before? Because everything she says and does screams that she wants a chance! And Maggie, go away.

The Last Scenes – Erica arrives at Adam’s and asks his chair what it plans to do to get their companies back from Kendall; the chair swivels and reveals Mary. Erica’s hair freezes.

At the Pine Valley Inn, Greenlee knocks on Ryan’s door; the maid opens it and discloses that Ryan has checked out. Oh, and he’s a great tipper: it seems that the only things he can't do are shower and skulk around.

At Pier 23, Ryan is almost caught – again! Boyd fails to stop Spinelli from demolishing the building and Kendall arrives with an open checkbook: meat packing plants are the new black.

Inside, Ryan shines a flashlight on:

A) Hid ex-girlfriend making love?

B) The barrel of a gun?

C) A dead body?

Oh, it simply has to be A.

At the clinic, David explains "the procedure" to Bianca, who doesn't seem able to open the gown. Apparently, Kendall’s chance shall be fulfilled through VolderFetus.

TOMORROW ON ALL MY CHILDREN: David tells Bianca there is still time to change her mind; Greenlee asks Juan Pablo if something’s wrong; Spinelli thinks the police might be interested to know Kendall wants to buy the plant; Mary and Erica fight.


This commentary is by K. Faygen.

Pity Lena had to almost die to briefly get SOME attention

Note the shiney belt!

Lena dresses well for just about every occasion, and today (although shown just briefly) was no exception.

Attempting to take one's life is serious business, and Lena seems to understand this, opting for a somber outfit consisting of stove pipe black pants and a stylish black blouse with several of the top buttons left undone...sensually exposing her elegant neck and attractive cleavage.

This look managed to convey the deep depression she has been suffering from while accenting her stunning facial bone structure and trim body. When Boyd carried Lena in the clinic, the fabric of Lena's brooding ensemble flowed elegantly and flattered her pale sickly pallor.

Before lapsing into unconsciousness, Lena decided to slip her shoes off leaving her feet bare...a daring yet practical look that said, "I am trying to take my life so I will not need shoes."

Kudos Lena. Even in the pit of despair you manage to coordinate an elegant, cutting edge look.


This commentary is by Solvay.

Olga Sosnovska must have p***** McTavish off no end! The entire suicide to date has taken up less than a minute of screen time. Why even have her try suicide if it was going to be treated so minimally? Was it just a plot device to get Kendall to the clinic in time? I kept yelling at the screen, "ask her why she's there Binks"! Yes, Eden [Riegel] and Alicia [Minshew] knocked the scene out of the park, but the god references sent me over the edge.

Random observations and questions:

1) Janelle has now met Lena. Too bad Lena won't remember.

2) What ever happened to Maggie's internship at the clinic?

3) When David first came out of Lena's room she was lying behind him in the same position she was first dropped on the table. Shouldn't her head have been turned, shouldn't they be working around her head and mouth? It looked like he just left her there.

4) Unless she was tossed in a trunk for the ride to the hospital, Bianca should have arrived as Lena was being placed in the ambulance.

5) Everyone gets to kiss Bianca except Lena. And the lipstick on Bianca's cheek didn't seem the match the lipstick on Alicia's lips.

Finally, when Bianca was standing in the exam room, recently vacated by Lena, did anyone else expect her to say, "I smell Lena...and rat poison"? She even hesitated and seemed to breathe in. I was so hoping she'd say it.


This parody is by LizzieT.

Lena parts are indicated in red for those who only want a Lena fix

Greenlee's search for Ryan came up empty.
Greenlee: Juan Pablo, what are you doing here?
Juan Pablo: I like this strange American custom of going to a boathouse but never renting a boat. What are you doing?
Greenlee: I saw someone I used to know - Ryan Lavery. But he ran away when I called his name. I can't imagine why. That stalking thing was years ago. Surely he's past that now.
Ryan: Even though I got away before Greenlee could catch me, I'll sneak back and listen in on her conversation. Any lurker worth his salt always eavesdrops as much as possible.
Juan Pablo: I have seen this Ryan Lavery. He told me he had never heard of you.
Greenlee: Never heard of me! I wasted some of the best months of my life making him believe I was someone else and trying to win him away from the love of his life. I even trashed his apartment with an axe. How could he say he didn't know who I was?
Juan Pablo: It sounds as though you shared a great deal. But did you ever hide in his closet?

Mary had a proposition for Adam.
Mary: I think I should move in here. The service at the Valley Inn isn't what it used to be. The service in Jack's car isn't that great either.
Adam: You're not fooling me Mary. I know you're broke and that your family won't have anything to do with you.
Mary: I thought you could set me up in an art studio here on your property and pay my bills for the next few months.
Adam: And what would I get out of this deal?
Mary: How about a storyline with a popular character played by a talented actress?
Adam: How soon can you move in?
Mary: Your son JR called while you were gone.
Adam: JR? My God, they're not bringing him back are they?
Mary: I've heard there may have been a recast. Why don't you call and ask?
Adam: Hello, this is Adam Chandler. I believe my son JR works for you....You have no one by that name on your freighter? How about a kid that twitches and pokes his tongue out a lot? No? Good. Mary, it sounds like you might be right about that recast.
Mary: See, I've made your life better all ready. We could be the best thing to hit this town since Palmer married Vanessa.

David assured Kendall that Lena would be all right.
David: You got her here in time. You saved her life Kendall.
Lena: Wait a minute. I swallow rat poison and all I get is one lousy scene at the beginning of the show? What about a scene where I'm drawn to the light and fight my way back to life? Or a scene where Bianca begs me to live?
Producer: Sorry. We needed extra time for Ryan to lurk some more.
Lena: *(&^%$

Boyd tried to stop the demolition of the meat packing plant.
Boyd: You can't tear this building down.
Owner: Why not?
Boyd: Because if you do ...you know.
Owner: No, I don't know. I don't have any idea what's going on anymore. This mystery storyline has me totally confused.
Kendall: Why don't you sell me the building? I need it for ...you know.
Owner: No, I don't know. You're a cosmetics executive. What would you want with a meat packing plant?
Kendall: You know.
Owner: Auughhhh!

Erica confronted Jack.
Erica: This is all your fault.
Jack: How is this my fault?
Erica: It just is. Get out!
Maria: Hello, is Bianca here?
Erica: Oh, it's you. I heard you came back from the dead. What do you want with Bianca?
Maria: I talked to her the other day at the hospital.
Erica: You were the doctor she talked to? I can't believe it!
Maria: Because I'm not a counselor?
Erica: No. Because you've had amnesia for 5 years. I can't believe they're letting you practice medicine.
Maria: Anna had amnesia longer than I did and they let her be Chief of Police. If Dixie ever comes back with amnesia they'll probably make her the Chancellor of PVU.
Erica: Jack, I just can't take any more of this. I'm walking out on you.
Jack: It's your house.
Erica: You're really trying to annoy me today aren't you? :::slam::::
Jack: I guess it's a good thing I didn't suggest that she consider natural hormone replacement. She probably would have killed me.


David: For heaven's sake, when is it going to end?

Kendall: You have to save her. If bianca finds out about this, it will kill her.

Kendall: Lena is such a coward. To do this now when bianca's had so much to deal with and still so much ahead of her.

Kendall: No, boyd, I have to stay. What if bianca finds out lena doesn't make it and I wasn't here?

Kendall: Is there any way we can make sure that this news doesn't get out now that she's going to be in the hospital? I want to keep bianca from finding this out. If i can keep her from ever knowing this, then i'll really feel like I did something.


Unverified in non-clip parts

***** (clip a) [Lena is taken to the clinic]

[amc030922a starts]
Kendall: We need some help over here, please! We need help!
Janelle: Put her down in here!
Kendall: This woman's been poisoned!
Janelle: Straight through!
Kendall: She's been poisoned!
David: What's going on?
Kendall: David, it's lena. She took this poison.
David: For heaven's sake, when is it going to end?
Janelle: She's unconscious.
Kendall: We found her like that.
Janelle: She has very weak vitals.
David: Take this.
Kendall: We didn't know where to take her, so we brought her here. David, you can save her, can't you?
Janelle: We're going to need you to wait outside.
David: We're going to do our best.
Boyd: Is she going to be ok?
David: We're going to do our best. Now please give us some room to work.
Kendall: Ok. David, david --
boyd: Just let him work.
Kendall: You have to save her. If bianca finds out about this, it will kill her.

***** (clip b) [Kendall decides to stay to see if Lena survives (no Lena)]

Kendall: Lena is such a coward. To do this now when bianca's had so much to deal with and still so much ahead of her.
Boyd: Yeah, I wish bianca knew how much you cared about her.
Kendall: I can't worry about that right now. Right now, i just -- i have to focus my energy on what we need to do.
Boyd: D***, look how late it is.
Kendall: Oh, my god. I forgot the time, the time.
Boyd: Look, it's going to take us at least 20 minutes to get to our meeting.
Kendall: No, I can't miss that meeting with mr. Spinelli at the meatpacking plant. If that building goes down --
boyd: Look, I know, I know. We got to go now.
Kendall: No. No, no. No, you don't understand -- I have to stay here.
Boyd: David can fill us in.
Kendall: No, boyd, I have to stay. What if bianca finds out lena doesn't make it and I wasn't here?
Boyd: Kendall, what am i supposed to do? Spinelli's not going to take the meeting with me. Ok, you're mrs. Cambias, remember?
Kendall: You go over there now and tell him i've been delayed by an emergency. Just don't let him leave.
Boyd: No, don't worry. I'll hold him down myself if i have to.
Kendall: Ok. Oh, david. So how is she? Will she make it?

***** (clip c) [Kendall decides not to tell Bianca about lena's suicide attempt (no Lena)]

Kendall: Why does lena have to go to the hospital if she's better?
David: Because we're not equipped to do the type of followup that lena needs here. Now, we can pump her stomach and we can stabilize her, but that's about it.
Kendall: But she was still unconscious, wasn't she?
David: She was in and out, which is to be expected.
Kendall: Well, I guess they can look over her there, just to make sure she doesn't, you know --
david: When she's strong enough, they're going to do a full psychological evaluation. You did a great job, kendall. You saved her life.
Kendall: Is there any way we can make sure that this news doesn't get out now that she's going to be in the hospital? I want to keep bianca from finding this out. If i can keep her from ever knowing this, then i'll really feel like I did something.
David: You're early.
Bianca: I'm here for an appointment.
Kendall: An appointment with david? Don't you feel ok?
Bianca: I feel fine.


I have the following complete clips: A
amc030922a-inc.mpg (5m; 0:29) An unconscious Lena is rushed to the clinic

If you are aware of any of the following clips from this episode, please contact me ASAP, Kym: Clip B, C

The above described clips can also be found on my shared folder on AIM (http://www.aim.com to download). My user name on AIM is kymtaborn. E-mail me with your AIM user name (ktaborn@lightspeed.net) and I will give you access to the shared folder. When you have access, you can right click my user name on your buddy list and then click on get file. That should get you into the shared folder. If you have problems, then tweak your firewall. The downloads are slow because it has to go through the AIM filter AND often there are a lot of people downloading along with you. I apologize for the slow speed but this is the only way that I can distribute the clips at this time.

I am eliciting volunteers to host the clips throughout the web. If you have 5-25megs of space you can lend to this project, please let me know!

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