Whoosh! Helloooo, I'm down here
The blossoming triangle huddle
together to discuss Kendall's arrest

Lena Kundera

December 2, 2003

(Lena appearance)
Last update: 12/08/03

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Lena Kundera (Olga Sosnovska)
Bianca Montgomery
Maggie Stone
Greenlee duPres
David Hayward
Kendall Hart
Jackson Montgomery
Ryan Lavery


Kendall is arrested for Michael Cambias' murder; Jack is stripped of his DA powers and becomes art of Kendall's defense team; Bianca briefly flirts with telling the truth about her pregnancy to the known world; Lena mysteriously leaves Bianca's presence; Bianca figures out that Ryan knows that Kendall's not pregnant but Bianca is


From The Official Site at ABC.com:

No Lena mentioned (sniff)

From About All My Children

Maggie asks how it’s going to look if she objects to Kendall’s arrest? Bianca tells her it’s going to look like she cares about her sister, which is the truth! Lena argues she’s going to risk exposing her secret, but Bianca asks them to look at what Kendall is risking for her. Maggie says this was Kendall’s idea and Bianca agreed to go along with it; she has to keep acting like she hates her because she’s having Michael’s baby. Bianca thinks this is so horrible, but Lena urges her to think about who she’s doing this for. Bianca insists she can’t let Kendall be punished for something she didn’t do!..

Jack returns the smile as he says he never has, and never will. She asks him to tell Bianca she’s okay, and that nothing has changed, “She’ll know what that means.” She wants him to tell Boyd, Lena and Erica that she’ll survive this; she doesn’t want anyone to worry about her, especially Bianca...

From Soap Slut

Big f****** surprise, Kendall is the one under arrest. All h*** breaks loose. Ryan’s all jumping to her defense, vowing to get her a great lawyer. Kendall just gives him a what-the-f*** face for it. Greenlee is jealous of the attention Ryan is doting on Kendall. So go off someone and he’ll support you too, Greens. I nominate Carloser as your victim...

Jack tells Kendall that he’s helping her out because he knows that every weirdo thing she’s done has been to protect Erica and Bianca. Kendall requests that Jack tell Bianca that “nothing’s changed” and to tell Boyd, Lena and Erica that she’ll get through this ordeal. Interesting list of people she deems worthy of a progress report...

On the next All My Children
Bianca begs for the truth.
Greenlee plants herself in between her parents. Literally.
Mia’s throwing herself at Aidan again.
Ryan kisses Kendall right through the jail bars. How come Lianca didn’t get to do that?


This all gay recap is by C.K..
Read all the All Gay Re-caps at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheAllGayRecap/.


  • Adam begins to expose Babe.
  • Jamie watches.
  • J.R. finishes the job.
  • Kendall's in bloom.
  • Everyone shuns Greenlee.
  • Maggie's premature.
  • Lena's disdainful.

The Set-Up – On the porch of shame, J.R. says he knows what’s happened between Jamie and Babe – except that he doesn’t.

At the PVI dining room, Maggie’s premature arm tips me off that Kendall’s about to be arrested.

PVI Dining Room – Erica doesn’t want Kendall to go to prison; Mary looks on in stupor and Myrtle’s just trying to stay awake. Bianca wants to do something, but Maggie stops her.

Maggie: "Bianca, think: how’s it going to look if you object to her arrest?"

Maggie, must you speak? And in complete sentences?

Lena: "You risk exposing your secret."

Sigh.  Lena, please, shut up and step away from Maggie: I’m scared you’ll get stupid by osmosis.

The Martins’ – Adam wants to know just what kind of "slut" married his son, but Babe isn’t forthcoming.

Outside, J.R. understands everything – except that Jamie slept with Babe – and accuses him of wanting what he has just like he did when they were kids.

Well, they’re still five-years old: one of them should hit on Maggie.

PVI Dining Room – Kendall is so desperate to get away from Ryan that she begs Derek to cuff her.

A new ADA, Alan, drops by to tell Jack he’s been "removed from the case" and "suspended from [his] duties as District Attorney indefinitely." Erica’s hair is outraged, OUTRAGED!

In the corner, Bianca’s cramping ‘cause, you know, the stress. Jack, now free to badly practice law anywhere he wants, offers his services to Kendall.

Jack: "Because I’m no longer prosecuting this case, I can sign on as your defense attorney."

Oh my god: Kendall’s going to rot in jail, isn’t she?

Kendall: "I don’t know what to say. Thank you."
Derek: "You should hold off on that until after your trial."

Bwah! Word, Derek: word.

With her hands firmly cuffed in front – because she’s no Michael Jackson - Kendall chooses the perfect moment, when none of the 3,000 people in the room can see it, to mouth "I’ll be ok" to Bianca.  VolderCitrus gets the SisYay vibe and feels better.

Erica demands to know where Bianca is and Maggie turns to Lena for support and a quick lie; Lena might be a reformed corporate spy, but she still remembers the bathroom fiasco and decides to look at the floor instead. Oh, look: something shiny and nowhere near Erica’s eyes! Maybe it’ll be sharp enough to…you know.

PVI Bar – Bianca and FrankenBrow have a wink wink, nudge nudge conversation about VolderFake and VolderGrapefruit – well, FrankenBrow can’t blink worth a d***, so Bianca has to triple blink every 2.4 seconds – and he suggests that, if Kendall were able to prove the baby she’s carrying is, in fact, Michael’s, that would help her case.

Ryan: "If she can prove that her child is Michael’s, it’ll add a lot of credibility to her whole ‘honeymoon in Vegas’ story, which will put a major kink in the prosecutions’ theory that she killed Michael before they got married."

Oh, Ryan: you’re such an old-fashioned guy. You think the police will believe that Kendall waited to get married before having sex with *ssicle? Aww, it’s Mary or Magdalene with you, isn’t it?

Betsy’s Room Of Horrors – J.R. demands to know the truth about Babe and Jamie; she confesses to something, but the words "I," "sex" and "Jamie"
never cross her lips - which is astounding when one considers...you know.

Betsy and I hide, scream and weep while the porn plays on. Resuscitate me when it’s over.

PVI Bar – Maggie and her portable dickie find Bianca.

Maggie: "What happened to you? Who – where did you go? Why did you take off like that?"
Bianca: "Where did Lena go?"

Ever get the impression no one’s listening to you?

Erica’s Penthouse – How dare the police to their job! How dare they search Erica’s penthouse the same way they’d search the little people’s homes! I am appalled, APPALLED!

David: "I’m sure they didn’t find anything."
Erica: "Well, no, of course they didn’t find anything: it’s a witch-hunt."

Erica, remember David? He’s the one with whom you’ve been conspiring.

Erica: "David, there’s something else I haven’t told you. I spoke to Adam. He told me what he saw the night that Michael Cambias disappeared."

Oh shut up! We’re not going to find out so stop talking about it! That’s so rude.

The Last Scenes – At his place, Adam thinks he’s won, but J.R. makes him watch Babe. In bed. No, that’s not the fortune cookies game.

At the police station, Jack reads Defending A Client For Dummies.

At the penthouse, Bianca does her best impression of a person in the loop and asks David and Erica whether Kendall is in prison for something they did. What? Why, what have you heard?

In jail, all the flowers on Kendall’s dress wither and die when they see FrankenBrow.

TOMORROW ON ALL MY CHILDREN: Bianca wants to know the truth; Greenlee stands between Jack and Mary; Mia wants Aidan; Ryan and Greenlee kiss.


Jennifer Lyon
Nobody works in Pine Valley except Boyd (that's why we never see him), Lena, Simone (when her libido is down), and the Chandlers' maid. Everyone else has a job or goes to school, but they're on a perpetual lunch break or they've left the office to confront somebody or resolve yet another personal crisis. I guess I should include the cops and Tarzan the Assistant DA under the "working" category, but I suspect they are only pretending to be working in order to hide some ulterior motives.


This parody is by LizzieT.

Thanksgiving trudges on in Pine Valley.
Jamie: JR, I have something to tell you. Let's step outside.
JR: Why can't you tell me in here?
Jamie: This way we can talk and everyone in here can have scenes talking about what they think we're talking about.
JR: I know you want my wife. You always wanted what I had, even when we were little kids.
Jamie: That's not what's going on here. We haven't been little kids in a couple of years. I just want you to be happy. I've always looked up to you as my big brother - except when you were twitching last year of course.
JR: And I've always been proud of you as my little brother - except for when you were the mute kid. So why are you causing trouble about Babe?
Jamie: I guess this is just the storyline they've always planned for us - two brothers torn apart by a girl. Maybe if it had been Amanda Dillon the audience would have liked it better.
JR: Just stay away from my wife. She' s mine, all mine.
Seventh Fleet: We beg to differ.

Back in the house....
Tad: I can't believe it. Jamie is going to tell JR the truth. I feel like such a failure as a parent.
Adam: I hope he does tell him the truth. My son needs to be rid of this slut.
Babe: I'm not a slut.
Seventh Fleet: We beg to differ.
Brooke: I can't believe you would stoop so low Adam. You've used my son to destroy your son's life. How could you be so cruel?
Adam: Why are you talking to me like this?
Brooke: Because the audience is rooting for you in this storyline and I'm trying to remind them that you're the villain of the piece.

Later JR took Babe home.
JR: I know Jamie wants you.
Babe: But I don't want him and I told him so. You believe me don't you?
JR: Let's make love.
Babe: Great. The first rule of soap writing - give all the love scenes to a couple with basically zero rooting value while you keep the couples the audience wants to see apart for months at a time. That's why our soap is always in the top 10.
JR: Aren't there only 9 soaps?

It was chaos at the Valley Inn.
Derek: Kendall Cambias, you're under arrest.
Kendall: What? How can you arrest me?
Derek: You threatened to kill they guy in front of witnesses, you claim to have married him at a time when the medical examiner says he was already dead, you've staked a claim to his estate, and you bought the warehouse where his body was found.
Kendall: Well, if you're going to nit pick....
Bianca: I have to do something. I can't let them arrest Kendall.
Baby: That's it. Grow some backbone. Forget all the secrets and stand up for what you know is right.
Maggie: You can't do anything. You have to keep your secret.
Lena: That's right. It's all for the baby, remember?
Baby: :::sigh::::: I give up. Every character has to pretend this is a good idea in an attempt to convince the audience that it's a good storyline.

Erica: I can't stand this. I can't bear to see my daughter arrested.
David: I thought you didn't care what happened to Kendall. Yesterday you attacked her every time you turned around.
Erica: Get with the program David. Tuesday is my concerned mother day. Monday was my raving b**** day.
Jack: You can't arrest her unless I say so. I'm the DA.
Voice: No, I'm the DA.
Jack: Who are you?
Voice: I'm Alan, the newbie. I'm here to replace you as DA.
Jack: Oh yeah? Well if you're going to be the DA then I'm going to be the defense attorney.
Justin: Oh yeah? Well if he's going to be the DA and you're going to be the defense attorney, then I'm going to be ...I'm going to be.....what can I be?
Alan: How about a Power Ranger?
Justin: Yessssss! I love my job.

Bianca and Ryan talked.
Ryan: I know you said you aren't because you did and Kendall is but if you didn't and she isn't then it's a good and noble thing that you two did.
Bianca: I understand what you're saying but I'm not and Kendall is because if I was and she wasn't then it could be tricky now that she's been arrested.
Ryan: A DNA test could prove not only that she is but that she didn't but if she didn't pass the test then they might think she isn't and that she did.
Bianca: She could pass the test because she is or at least the test will show that she is, especially if it will help prove that she didn't because I know she didn't and I'm afraid that maybe Mom did.
Baby: The sad thing is I actually understand what they're talking about.


From Jenny D. Maher.

Bianca: Where's Lena?
Maggie: She went home.
Bianca: She went home? What do you mean she went home? She didn't tell me she was leaving. Lena get in here!!
Lena: Did you call me? Bianca you know I'm not suppossed to be here. It's not in the script.
Bianca: I don't care if it's in there or not. I'm taking over my scenes. You're my girlfriend and I say you're staying. There's no more of this leaving and not saying goodbye.
Lena: Hey, I said goodbye it was just off camera. You know how most of our scenes are these days.
Bianca: This has got to stop. I'm sick of us barely having two minutes together in a scene. There's so much for us to discuss and I'm tired of them pushing you aside to show more of Babe, JR, and Jamie!! I mean who gives a d*** about any of that s***. It's soooo boring.
Maggie: I know. I'm straight but that is making me want to turn gay. And another thing they are making me look even more stupid than I already am.
Bianca: Yea, first you tell me I should tell Lena about the baby. You then ask me why I told her about the baby. Good god.....first you want me back with Lena then you're giving me evil looks because I brought her to Thanksgiving dinner. At least my mom is finally accepting Lena in my life.
Lena: Yea, we got some good mother girlfriend bonding in. They need to give all of us a life. I want some heavy Lianca bonding. We deserve it. Maggie you got your turn. Now it's mine.
Maggie: Hey, I agree with you. It's all Mctavish's fault.
Lena: I'm just so unhappy. Why did they sign me to a contract and then they don't even use me. I miss you so much Bianca.
[Lena and Bianca hold hands. And they look lovingly into each other's eyes. This is what they have been reduced to.]
Bianca: I know I've been thru a rape, which really sucked. I'm young and was in love why do they have to torment me. I'm supposed to be happy that I have to go without out sex now forever because of this? I have to suffer while everyone else is $&&*@## like bunnies.
Maggie: Not everyone. I've been hanging with you so I haven't gotten any either.
Bianca: But you still got more with Henry then I did with Lena. We got one night and then zilch. I can't take it anymore.
[She grabs Lena by the hand and pulls her close.]
Bianca: I've been wanting to do this ever since the night at the park. D*** Adam anyway. D*** everyone!!! A big d*** on Mctavish!!!
[Bianca kisses Lena with all passion she's been forced to hold in. After pulling apart for air they quickly begin kissing more.]
Maggie: Ok you two get a room will you? Although I find I like seeing you two make out. What does that say about me? Am I gay?
Bianca: Oh Please. Don't even GO THERE! You've told me enough times that you're straight. I am not having them make you gay. I belong with Lena. There's not gonna be any triangle if I have anything to say about it.
Lena: That's right. I'm not sharing.
Bianca: OOOHHH Lena I love when you get possessive!
Maggie: OK you two have suffered enough. C'mon I'll pay for the room myself.
Lena: No need for that. I do have an apartment now. Although I've never actually seen it myself. But I'm sure it's lovely. Bianca let's get you a couple of changes of clothes.
Bianca: OK but I don't think I'm gonna really be needing them, am I?
Lena: No, I intend on keeping you out of them for quite a long time.
Bianca: I like the sound of that! Lead on!
[So Lena takes Bianca by the hand and they say their goodbyes to Maggie. They go to Lena's apartment and are not seen for days.]
Erica: Hey, where is Bianca? I haven't seen my daughter in days. I haven't seen Lena either. Could it be? The writers have finally seen the light?
Maggie: No, Bianca took over. No more Lena light days. It's Lena all the time. They went to Lena's apartment.
Erica: She's got an apartment? I've never seen it. But I'm sure it's lovely. Well, I guess they'll show up when they're finished with whatever they're doing. Although it might be awhile after the drought they've been thru. C'mon Maggie let's see what man I can find for you. You've been hanging around Bianca too much.
Maggie: Thank you Erica.
[So Maggie and Erica went off in search of the perfect man. And well Lena and Bianca were busy for days catching up. Things were right where they should be. THANK GOD!!!!]


Unverified in non-clip parts

***** (clip a) [Kendall is arrested (Lena in clip)]

[amc031202a starts]
Jack: Mccoy, you don't have the authority to make an arrest.
Justin: Jack --
jack: I don't recall signing off on any warrant.
Justin: Jack, I'm sorry. It's already a done deal. [wise shot with the blossoming triangle in background] Derek, let's do this.
Derek: Kendall Cambias --
jack: No, just hold on a minute, will you, please?
Kendall: No, no, I didn't do anything.
Justin: Mrs. Cambias, you're under arrest for the murder of your husband, Michal Cambias.
[reaction shot of the blossoming triangle]
Bianca: Stop! Don't do this!
Derek: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney.
Jack: Wait, wait, wait just a minute! Mccoy's not heading up this investigation, i am!
[All talking at once]
ryan: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Justin: Hey, hey, hey!
Ryan: Derek, you don't need those! Now, just leave her alone!

***** (clip b) [Lena and Maggie keep Bianca from objecting from Kendall's arrest]

[amc031202b starts]
Maggie: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where are you going?
Bianca: I got to find my uncle jack.
Maggie: Ok, bianca, think. How is it going to look if you object to her arrest?
Bianca: It's going to look like i care about my sister, which is the truth.
Lena: You risk exposing your secret.
Bianca: Well, look at what kendall is risking for me.
Maggie: No, no, no -- this was her idea, and you decided to go along with it. You have to keep on acting like you hate her because she's having michael's baby.
Bianca: It's so horrible.
Lena: Look, if it helps, just think about who you're doing it for.
Bianca: But what if it's not enough? I can't let kendall be punished for something she didn't do.

***** (clip c) Clip C [Lena, Bianca, and Maggie leave the room]

Greenlee: I just want to make sure that you're --
bianca: That i'm ok? With my sister getting arrested for murder? I really don't need for you to tell me how she had it coming.
Bianca, Maggie, and Lena leave the room.

***** (clip d) Clip D [Lena is concerned about Bianca reaction to Kendall's arrest]

[amc031202d starts]
Bianca: God --
maggie: Are you ok?
Bianca: I'm -- i'm fine. Please -- please, don't fuss, please.
Lena: Don't argue. You're looking very pale. Just sit down, ok?
David: Maggie, it's time for you to get bianca home.
Bianca: Not yet.
David: I don't want you pushing it.
Bianca: David, i'm fine, I swear. The one that i'm worried about right now is kendall. This thing is really escalating.
David: Kendall knew what to expect. She's going to handle it just fine.
Bianca: Are you sure?
David: Absolutely. And jack will take good care of her.

***** (clip e) Clip E [Erica asks Maggie and Lena where Bianca is]

Greenlee: Another eager fan?
Erica: Go away, greenlee.
Greenlee: Erica, wait. What are we going to do?
Erica: I beg your pardon?
Greenlee: Well, I may want to pull kendall's curls out, but I don't want to see her go to prison for michael's murder. Do you?
Erica: Of course not.
Greenlee: I mean, jackson's putting his career on the line to defend her. We've got to do something about this.
Erica: Greenlee, what is it going to take to get through to you? I don't care whose daughter you are. I don't want to have anything to do with you ever again. Ever. [amc031202e starts] Maggie, have you seen bianca?
Maggie: She just got a phone call.
Erica: From who?
Maggie: I don't know. She just took off. I don't know where she went.

***** (clip f) [Kendall tells Jack to tell others she will survive this (Lena mention)]
jack: So, how you doing?
Kendall: With the whole booking thing? Oh, I love having my picture taken.
[Jack laughs]
kendall: And I hope this ink that they use doesn't hurt my baby.
Jack: If things go well, you won't be down here for long.
Kendall: Thank you, jackson, for being my lawyer. I told ryan people don't change, but I guess they do. So -- so what's our plan?
Jack: Well, first I'll walk you through the arraignment and probably get you out on bail. And then i'll get you in the hands of a really good defense lawyer.
Kendall: So you think this is going to go to trial?
Jack: Yeah. I'm sure it will. I just wish you would've hired beckman when i told you to, but now he's involved in a big case down in florida, so --
kendall: Why are you jeopardizing your entire career for me?
Jack: Because I know that everything you did, you did out of love for erica and bianca.
Kendall: I would do anything for bianca.
Jack: Even now?
Kendall: She made her choice, I made mine.
Jack: Yes, you did. And that is why I'm standing by you.
Kendall: I took a blood test, jackson. It came back positive. I'm -- i'm having my husband's baby. That's not so unusual.
Jack: Ok, let's just -- let's just be clear on this point. I -- i'm not going to dispute your claim in any way, and because I'm trying to build a defense for you, i think this baby might just be a godsend.
Kendall: Don't underestimate me.
Jack: Never have, never will.
Kendall: Well, you don't have to sit here and hold my hand through all of this. But can you do me one favor?
Jack: Sure. What's that?
Kendall: Tell bianca I'm ok and tell her that nothing has changed. She'll know what that means. And boyd, lena, and erica -- tell them that i'll survive this. I don't want anyone to worry about me, especially bianca.

***** (clip g) [Bianca asks Maggie where Lena went (no Lena)]
Bianca: I'm not worried. Kendall will pass that d.N.A. Test. The child that she's carrying is michael'S.
Ryan: All right. Well, that should be ok if it comes to that.
Bianca: Yes, she will.
Ryan: I'll be in touch.
Maggie: What happened to you? Who -- where did you go? Why did you take off like that?
Bianca: Where did lena go?
Maggie: She went home. Who were you on the phone with?
Bianca: With ryan. He -- he knows. He knows that kendall is not pregnant and he knows that i am.
Maggie: Are you serious? Did you say anything to him?
Bianca: No, no. He figured it out on his own.
Maggie: Well, what if he tells someone like the police or your mother?
Bianca: No, it's not like that. He wanted to make sure that kendall could pass a D.N.A. Test.
Maggie: But then, technically, she gets everything -- all of the money, the companies.
Bianca: I know, but ryan doesn't seem to care about that. It seems like he wants to keep kendall out of jail.


I have the following clips (incompletes are marked "inc"):
amc031202a.mpg (5.7m; 0:33) [Kendall is arrested (lena in clip)]
amc031202b.mpg (5m; 0:29) [Maggie, Lena, and Bianca discuss Bianca's options]
amc031202d.mpg (5.2m; 0:30) Lena shows her concern about Bianca's well-being
amc031202e.mpg (1.8m; 0:11) Erica asks Maggie and Lena where Bianca is

I am eliciting volunteers to host the clips throughout the web. If you have 5-100megs of space you can lend to this project, please let me know!

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