Whoosh! Ryan, you got to put down the duckie if you want to play the saxophone.
The ducky survived the apartment explosion!

Lena Kundera

December 16, 2003

(Ducky appearance)
Last update: 12/16/03

Previous Episode |AMC Guide |Episode Guide |Next Episode



Kendall Hart
Ryan Lavery
Rubber Ducky


While going through the destroyed apartment, Ryan and Kendall find the rubber ducky Lena gave Bianca.


From The Official Site at ABC.com:

No mention of the ducky! (sniff)

From About All My Children

Kendall starts to clean up the mess, and they [Ryan and kendall] smile together that her rubber ducky survived, when it could have been barbequed or Peking-ed!

From Soap Slut

No mention of the ducky (sniff)


This all gay recap is by C.K..
Read all the All Gay Re-caps at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheAllGayRecap/.


  • BooBoobe and BaBianca bond.
  • Aidan takes a shot.
  • Rubber meets the road.  No, the light.  No, the stick.  Shift.
  • Portia gets it through the eye.
  • A rant.
  • A Snap!Fetus stands between Kendall and Ryan.

The Set-Up – At the warehouse, Aidan says he’s "in" just in time – and thank god for that, otherwise WW(h)JD?

At the hospital, Erica won’t allow Greenlee to scold her because, damn it, she helped her go potty!

At Bianca’s place, Portia survives the explosion.

In the woods, Babe finds Bianca – who regains consciousness just in time to stop Babe from calling the paramedics. And, again, thank god for that or…you know.

The Long And Winding Road – In the truck, Jamie tells Maggie that he likes that particular spot because he can be alone and "bark at the moon."

Maggie: "Does it help?"

Oh, come on Maggie, why so modest? You know everything there is to know about barking.

Blah and blah, Maggie kisses Jamie. Gasp! Sputter! Shock! Well, if I were a BAMmer.

The Warehouse – Blindfolded, Nurse Ricky shouts ‘no!’

Hey, when did he become BAM’s new mouthpiece?

Juan Pablo and Edmund can’t get Ricky to admit he killed Carloser, so they leave Aidan in charge of things ‘cause he’s Special Ops and knows how to snap a picture! With a camera! That has flash! "No, please, don’t blind me: I’ll tell you everything!"

The Hospital – Greenlee wants to help Erica look for Bianca, but it’s all very confusing and I come away with a mental picture of Erica trapped in a clangity-clang armor jumping through hoops that are on fire. While on stilts.

The Cottage – Bianca might have a concussion, but she can still check out Babe’s rack – not that I blame her because, come on, it was practically in my face.

Portia’s Studio – Kendall puts Portia where she belongs, but mistakes the wall for the trash. Ryan finds Lena’s duck and Kendall puts it "where [Bianca] can see it," which just happens to be on a table next to a huge-ass flashlight.

Lena’s duck! It’s shining under artificial light! That’s a sign that even Kendall thinks Bianca should be with Lena! Because the light! It’s shining! On the duck! That means Bianca loves Lena! Oh, sorry, I was just imagining what things would be like if Liancalites were like BAMmers.

Neither of them find Maggie’s dickie.

The Shift… – Tonsil hockey doesn’t work for Maggie, so it’ll be a bit of church, a bit of god, a bit of conversion therapy and a bit of the baby Jesus or AMC won’t hit all the gay/straight/maybe bi/maybe confused stereotypes in time to get a tax deduction.

Actually, I find it pathetic that, in order to kick start the triangle, AMC could think of nothing else. Maggie is confused! Let’s have her kiss a guy! Any guy! And she won’t like it! And things will be clear! Kiss. My. *ss. I don’t pretend to know what it’s like for every gay person out there; I only know my journey, boring as it was: I woke up one day in my jammies with footies, realized I liked girls and went back to sleep. That’s it: no confusion, no angst, no absurdities. Maggie might be bisexual? Great. Does she have to mack with a guy to realize her feelings for Bianca won’t go away? No. I don’t care what you’re realizing about your sexuality: you do not use other people to draw a map for you, not even when they’re willing participants. Never. Ever. I find the whole d*** thing f****** exhausting, let alone offensive. Once, just once, can we get a d*** lesbian who doesn’t have to go down that road? Even Bianca tried the kissing thing "just to make sure." Christ, get a magazine, would you? Read a book.

Portia’s Studio – Ryan and Kendall forget that they’ve had this conversation before and rehash the story of VolderFetusSnap: it’s as riveting and dramatic as the first time I didn’t watch it.

…Is It Stick? – Oh, why not start with a quote?

Maggie: "Oh, god, I love driving stick."

Bwahhahahahahahahahahaha! And ha! And more bwah! Oh, Maggie, apparently you don’t love it enough.

Jamie: "Most girls, they get the whole gas-clutch-stick thing all mixed up."

Oh, McT: have I told you I love you lately? No? Oh, good: I’ve lied a lot less than I thought I did.

After she stalls three times and Jamie waits for his heart "to catch up," Maggie’s ready to go again – bwah! – and guns it. Of course, in a real car, that would have been second, not first: it’s a wonder Maggie gets around at all. And I know you know what I mean.

The Last Scenes – I’m too freaked to say anything other than Erica arrives at the cottage. No, seriously, what the f***?

TOMORROW ON ALL MY CHILDREN: Tad meets Krystle; Babe urges Bianca to tell Erica her secret; Greenlee asks Juan Pablo not to do something; Ryan wants Kendall to "go with it."


This parody is by LizzieT.

Edmund enlisted Aidan's help.
Edmund: We need you to use your expertise to help us get the man who killed Carlos to confess.
Aidan: Whoi shewd Oi get involved in this?
Edmund: It's either help us or have scenes with Mia.
Aidan: Blimey! Bring the rotter in. Oi can't wite to ave a go at im.
PFKAJP: Here he is - the miserable extra who murdered my brother.
Aidan: Let me tawk to him mite. Oi'll brike im down in no toim. All roit you miserable bloke, smoil for the camera.
Extra: Why are you taking my picture?
Aidan: Before and after photos mite. We're abowt to give yew a mike over.
Extra: Cool. Is the cast of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" here? I know this hair cut could use some work.
Aidan: Not that kind of mike over. Now tell us whot we wont to know.
Extra: You can't make me.
Edmund: Oh yes we can. Tell us about the hit on Carlos or we'll make you watch a montage of scenes from last winter including the Bahamas adventure and Laurie and JR inside their computers.
Extra: ::sob:::You people aren't even human.:::sob:::All right. The hit was ordered by those message board people. And let me tell you, they're not happy that you're still wasting time focusing on the death of a character they never liked in the first place. In fact, I think more hits may be being commisioned as we speak.
PFKAJP: I see. I will seek my revenge on these message board people. I know where they can be found....Does anyone else feel that the dramatic music in this scene is a bit too loud? In my country we do not have music that drowns out the voices of the actors.
Edmund: Don't worry about it. No one's paying any attention to this anyway.

Maggie and Jamie went parking.
::kiss kiss kiss::::
Maggie: I'm sorry. I didn't feel any sparks there.
Jamie: Me either - and that's really saying something when you consider how being horny is the only aspect of my character that's been developed. I just don't understand women.
Maggie: Neither do I.
Jamie: They say they want you but it turns out their married to your brother the whole time.
Maggie: Or they seem to be getting closer to some other woman but they still want you to give up everything and leave the country with them.
Jamie: They might be pregnant with your child but they keep denying it's a possibility.
Maggie: Or they want you to keep the pregnancy a secret but they tell other people all the time without letting you know what's going on.
Jamie: Oh well, how about a driving lesson?
Maggie: :::sigh:::Why is it my storylines either involve chemistry tests or driving lessons? Even Colby gets more mature stuff than I do.

Greenlee ran into Erica at the hospital.
Greenlee: Where's my daddy?
Erica: Buzz off brat.
Greenlee: Make me.
Erica: I can't deal with you right now. Bianca's missing.
Greenlee: Oh, I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?
Erica: No.
Greenlee: Then let's talk about me. Daddy loves me more than he loves you.
Erica: Bite me.
Greenlee: I'm gonna tell.
Erica: You're a pain.
Greenlee: I know you are but what am I?
Jack: I'm really glad I'm not on today. In fact, I may just look into the Witness Protection Program.

Ryan and Kendall looked for Bianca.
Kendall: Well, she's not here. I don't know where she'd be if she didn't come back to this burned out hovel of an apartment that's probably been condemned by the city.
Ryan: Don't worry. It's not like she's wandering around out in the woods about to be thrust into Babe's storyline or something. I'm sure she's fine.
Kendall: :::clunk::::
Ryan: Wow, you almost fainted. People on AMC usually only faint for two reasons.
Kendall: Pregnancy?
Ryan: That or being stuck in the Babe storyline. And I know you're not because I know Bianca is.
Kendall: Whoever is, this baby is already very loved.
Ryan: I know. I hear she's got quite a fan base on the message boards.
Kendall: I just don't know if I can I trust you.
Ryan: Of course you can. Now fall into my arms just in time for someone to walk up and see us.
Greenlee: Sllllowwwwwllllyyyyyy I turned......

Babe took Bianca back to Stuart's house.
Bianca: I have to leave. No one can find me. No one can know.
Baby: You go ahead and leave if you want. I'm staying here where it's warm.
Babe: Is there anyone I can call for you?
Baby: I think I need a name. This Baby/Babe stuff is getting confusing. How about Lizzie? It has a nice ring to it.
Bianca: You can call David Hayward for me. Just tell him to keep it a secret.
Baby: A secret? Now there's a shock.

David examined Bianca.
David: It looks like you're fine.
Bianca: I feel better but I haven't felt the baby move very much..
Baby: Don't worry. I just dozed off during those scenes where they were threatening the guy that killed Carlos. Like anyone was interested in that.

Later Babe and Bianca bonded.
Babe: Let's string popcorn and talk about our lives. I'll get to show my vulnerable side and then the audience will like me better.
Bianca: I'll bet that's why out of all the people in Pine Valley, you found me. They're trying to use my popularity to make you more sympathetic.
Baby: Your popularity nothing. It's me they're using to try to win the audience over. And she probably did save me from freezing to death while you were lying around out in the woods - I'll give her that much. But they can't make me say nice things about her. I'm not Stuart you know.
:::knock knock:::
Erica: Babe!:::gasp::::How did you end up in my storyline?
Baby: You tell her Grandma. And throw a hissy fit. I think mine still need some work and I want to learn from the master.


Kendall: Well, it could've been worse. My little buddy here could've been barbecued or pekinged, right?


Unverified in non-clip parts

***** (clip a) [Ryan finds Lena's rubber duck in the apartment debris (Lena inference)]

Ryan: Have a seat.
[Kendall groans]
Ryan: Here.
Kendall: Thank you.
Ryan: This place looks like armageddon. You're lucky to be alive.
Kendall: Yeah, well, I only care about bianca. If anything happened to her --
ryan: Well, right now you're the one I'm worried about.
Kendall: Well, I hope I can clean up this god-awful mess. My god, it's a mess. Maybe I can get it cleaned up before bianca gets back.
Ryan: Yeah, you and a forklift, maybe. Aw, too bad she doesn't have this with her. This would put a smile on her face.
Kendall: Oh, her rubber ducky.
[Toy squeaks]
Kendall: Yeah, give me that. I'll put it where she can see it when she comes back. Ow! Ow! God!
Ryan: Oh --
kendall: Oh, you know, some light would be nice.
Ryan: Dark's not so bad.
Kendall: Yeah, well, it'll have to do. It's not like I'm going to light any matches or anything, light any candles. Not after that explosion. I told you what caused it, right? It was a gas leak.
[Kendall sighs]
Kendall: Well, it could've been worse. My little buddy here could've been barbecued or pekinged, right?
Kendall: No, I'll take that!


If anyone has clips from this episode , please contact me ASAP, Kym:

I am eliciting volunteers to host the clips throughout the web. If you have 5-100megs of space you can lend to this project, please let me know!

Previous Episode |AMC Guide |Episode Guide |Next Episode

Guide Table of ContentsBack to Whoosh!