Whoosh! Yes mom, we still are not having sex!
Lena and Bianca spend Christmas Eve together

Lena Kundera

December 24, 2003

(Lena appearance)
Last update: 12/24/03

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Lena Kundera (Olga Sosnovska)
Bianca Montgomery
Reggie Montgomery
Erica Kane
Maggie Stone
Jackson Montgomery


Lena and Maggie hang with Bianca on Christmas


From The Official Site at ABC.com:

No Lena mention

From About All My Children

Everyone helps to put the finishing touches on the Kane festivities as Erica tells Myrtle she's sure she told Bianca 7 o'clock! Myrtle advises her to relax, that she'll be here, but Erica sighs that's all her daughter seems to do lately-she drops out of sight and doesn't tell anybody where she's going or what she's doing! Maggie and Lena exchange glances before Lena assures Erica she's probably just doing some last minute shopping at Lacey's. They hear a rousing "Ho! Ho! Ho!" at the door, and Erica hurries to answer it, saying maybe Bianca's with them! She opens the door to Jack, dressed as Santa, and Reggie who directs, "Everybody nice on the left, naughty on the right!" Erica asks if Bianca isn't with them, and Reggie says there wasn't any room in the sleigh, "But here's your piece of coal!"

From Soap Slut

Erica sits with Myrtle, Lena and Maggie at her penthouse. Jack and Reggie show. Erica frets about Bianca’s absence but Jack reminds her that Binks is a grown woman who will show up when she’s good and ready...

Bianca finally shows up at Erica’s. She’d rather not peg herself as hallucinating and insane so she says she was shopping.


This all gay recap is by C.K..
Read all the All Gay Re-caps at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheAllGayRecap/.


The Penthouse - Erica bounces up and down trying to shake Bianca out of her hiding place. Maggie forgets she hates Lena and lets her explain Bianca's absence because, if anyone should be eaten alive by Erica, Mother In Chief, it should be tall, sexy people who stand in the way of sexual confusion.

The Chapel - Bianca realizes she’d love the baby in the manger no matter who his parents might be. In fact, she’d love him even if his father were, say, a carpenter.

The Boathouse – Remember when Leo and Greenlee found each other again? For the fifth time? And he hit her with the box? And then checked her for lice? Yeah, me either.

The Martins’ – Will J.R. ever choose which lie to believe? Will Jamie ever care that Babe doesn’t want him? Will Ruth ever be trotted out when there isn’t a turkey to cook? Will Krystal ever wear a shirt over her bra?

Kendall’s Condo – Ryan wants Kendall to take her clothes off: finally, a wish I can get behind.

To help her carry on with the pregnancy ruse, Ryan ties a pouch around Kendall’s belly.

Yeah, from flat to watermelon in 3 seconds: I’m sure no one will notice.

The Chapel – There’s no Father Clarence! There’s no baby! The cottage is a tool shed! Bianca made the whole thing up! Because she’s cracked! And she stole the baby Jesus from the manger!

Well, at least she didn’t try to feed him - though she probably made the plastic baby Jesus hungry by shoving her cleavage in his face.

The Boathouse – Jack finds Greenlee and invites her to celebrate Christmas with the Montgomery-Kane clan, but she refuses because she has a few more things to say to Leo.

Greenlee, honey, Leo’s SpiritEars are falling off: try to shut up for a minute, ok?

The Kryan Interlude – Or – when recappers cry: the pouch comes off and Ryan’s shirt opens.

The floor weeps and my eyes bleed.

The Penthouse – Bianca finally arrives and walks all the way around the couch to hug Lena first. Still looking at Lena, she hugs Maggie. Oh, to be the hypotenuse.

Speaking of true love, what the f*** is Lena wearing? You can hang ornaments from those sleeves.

The Last Scenes – At the boathouse, Greenlee finds the spirit of Christmas in a box that glows in the dark.

In prison, Adam’s the only sober Santa in town.

At her place, Kendall sleeps on VolderPouch.

FRIDAY ON ALL MY CHILDREN:  Greenlee needs Ryan; Jamie needs a lawyer; Babe bails out Adam; Krystal invades J.R.'s bed.


From Black Knight
Boy, Erica's just welcomed Lena right into the family, hasn't she? I know she was being welcoming before, but the Babe scare probably didn't hurt, either...plus I'm sure in the back of her mind she's thinking that if Bianca gets back together with Lena, she's much less likely to leave town. But, not that I think there's going to be a true triangle, given how crazy Bianca is about Lena, but I could see Erica coming down on Maggie's side if she realizes Maggie might have feelings for Bianca, because she knows she can walk all over Maggie.

From Msytic
I do wonder how much of this is genuine. Right now, Erica's hyper-aware how distant Bianca has become, so she's making nice. Plus, Erica's reasonably sure Lena isn't in a position to score anytime soon. Once all the dust settles and Bianca has healed up some, we'll see how Erica acts then. I don't know if Erica will ever accept any GF of Bianca's.

From Black Knight
Erica does seem to think that Bianca is ready to have sex again. She certainly jumped to conclusions about Babe fast enough. For once I think Erica's actually okay with the idea of Bianca getting down with a woman, because even more than she has a problem with Bianca being gay, she has a problem with the thought of her little girl being this badly damaged. I've long thought that Erica's attitude since she found out about Bianca's rape has been one of feeling that if Bianca just does everything "right"--i.e. abort her baby, go to therapy, and of course be at close as possible to her mother--the rape will finally be over. Her attitude about that was particularly noticeable during her pushing to have the pregnancy terminated, as if Bianca would be able to kill the pain along with the baby. She finally seems to be starting to realize that it's not that easy, but she still wants all this to be over, and Bianca having sex again would certainly be a good sign.

I don't know how completely Erica could ever accept a girlfriend of Bianca's, but I think she's been resigned for some time to the idea that Bianca is going to have one, and I think she truly doesn't want to damage her relationship with Bianca the way she did when Frankie was around. By the time that was all over, Bianca had practically cut Erica out of her life. Erica made an effort at points to be relatively nice and welcoming to Lena even before the Voldemort breakup, so this isn't entirely new for her.

That said, I think Erica will go for whoever she finds least threatening. She can't bribe, intimidate, or otherwise manipulate Lena, and at some point that's going to become a huge issue for Erica again. I'm sure she'd prefer someone much more pliable, such as Maggie. Meanwhile Binks is no dummy and knows to look for someone strong enough to stand up to Erica. I think Kendall can balance her need for a relationship with Bianca with her desire to see Bianca happy with someone a little better; as long as Lena doesn't try to restrict Kendall's access to Binks and the baby (and that would be supremely dumb, seeing as how Kendall's Lena's employer), Kendall will be fine with Lena. OTOH Maggie has been a grade-A b**** to Kendall with no reason and has tried to keep her from Bianca.

From Onthetracks
I'm enjoying Erica as Lena's advocate for now, as I'm sure it's more or less temporary. Lena became golden in Erica's eyes when she found out Lena tried to off the asshat. That said, I imagine everyone who knows about the baby will land on Erica's s*** list once she finds out. Hee - I can't wait!

From Mystic
Good point. It will be interesting seeing how the dynamics go once (if) Lena ever gets firmly entrenched and comfortable in her position as Binks' girlfriend. What fun! Erica won't be able to push Lena around or walk all over her. We had a brief glimpse of how Lena handled things before and I'd like to see Lena the GF again. It would be fun seeing Lena's role balanced in with Kendall's, Erica's, Jack's, Reggie's, ect. There are only two billion people in Bianca's life.


This parody is by LizzieT.

Everyone gathered for Christmas Eve in Pine Valley.
Maria: Oh good. This should be a lovely Christmas with Edmund and the kids. I'm sure my fans are looking forward to it after last Christmas when I kept running out to the stables to be with Aidan.
David: I'm glad I got invited somewhere. After all, I'm all alone in the world on what would have been my daughter's first Christmas.
Aidan: Oi'm glad tew be inclewded tew. Yew Yanks wewdn't let a bloke spend the olidighs all by imself now wewd yew?
Lizzie: Ooops.....almost everyone gathered for Christmas Eve in Pine Valley.

Over at Erica's.......
Erica: Where is Bianca? What could be keeping Bianca? We can't start without Bianca. Has anyone seen Bianca?
Myrtle: She'll be along. Did you happen to invite Kendall over for the holidays?
Erica: Who?
Jack: I'll go look for our daughters.
Erica: Let me know if you find Bianca. I'm so worried about Bianca.
Jack: I will. I'll let you know if Greenlee turns up too.
Erica: Who?

At the Martin's.....
Tad: Jamie doesn't look happy. I hope he doesn't start anything.
Brooke: I don't think he will. Surely the writer's will let this awful Jamie/Babe/JR story rest for the Christmas Eve show.
Babe: Can we come in?
Jamie: You can Babe. After all you're my future wife. JR however is not invited.
Brooke: Of course I could be wrong.
Krystal: Merry Christmas everyone!
Opal: Who is that?
Liza: Tad's new love interest. Sort of a be careful what you wish for case for the angry villagers.
Palmer: I like her. She reminds me a little of that hooker I was married to back in the day.
Opal: I don't like her. In fact I'm about to be totally out of character and turn into a snob so this Krystal person will look sympathetic to the audience.
Ruth: Now I remember why I used to spend Christmas in surgery::::sigh:::Those were the good old days.

At the hospital.......
Petey: Stop right there! So Adam, are you the grinch about to steal JR's Christmas by proving he's not going to be a father?
Adam: Petey! What are you doing here?
Petey: I only show up for holiday episodes to prove I still haven't been SORAS'D.
Tad: I'll take it from here. In the true holiday spirit I'm going to have Adam hauled off to jail to spend Christmas alone in his cell.
Adam: I can't spend Christmas in jail!
Jailer: Sure you can. It's time you learned Adam, Babe=Good.
Tad: Dixie, I know you can hear me. Help me pull our family together again. Help Babe and JR find a way to work this thing out.
Dixie: Are you insane? You think I'd want my son tied to that Babe creature and a child whose father could be anyone in the seventh fleet? I might have been the saint of Pine Valley but even I had my limits.

At the boathouse.....
Greenlee: Leo, I wish you were here. Everyone in Pine Valley comes back from the dead. Why did you have to be the one that went straight to a prime time hit series?
Leo: Just lucky I guess. But you can have a few flashbacks if you want. Hmmm, I wonder if I get paid for those?
Greenlee: Remember that Christmas when you hit me on the head with the magic box and we knew we were going to be together again even though I'd been boinking Jake and you were married to that Laura person? I miss those days when I had a storyline people cared about.
Leo: What about Pablo and the exploding car?
Greenlee: You never used to be cruel when you were alive.
Leo: Sorry.
Greenlee: I'm trying to make it interesting by linking my feelings about Pablo dying to my fears of loving again because I lost you. Actually today it's working a little better between the flashbacks and the fact that Pablo isn't on.
Leo: It's true. Even dead I'm still your best acting partner.
Greenlee: Oh look, it's the magic box. And it's glowing again! Thank you Leo. You gave me a Christmas miracle of my very own. Either that or it's radioactive....which would still be an improvement over my current storyline.

At the church.....
Bianca: Where is Father Clarence?
Priest: There is no Father Clarence. He was the angel in It's a Wonderful Life, don't you remember?
Bianca: And I suppose you're going to tell me that the baby isn't real either - hey, this baby isn't real! It must have been a message sent from my grandmother to help me deal with everything that's happened.
Baby: Of all the shameless, manipulative, sentimental.......Waaaaahhhhhhhhh! I just love Christmas miracles. Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!
Lizzie: Aren't you going to say "God bless us everyone?"
Baby: Forget it. Who do you think I am - Tiny Tim?


Lena is about to surprise Bianca with a gift of platform shoes

Maggie watches Lena and Bianca spend Christmas together


Reggie: All right, all right. Everyone nice on the left, naughty on the right.
Maggie: I'm on the right.

Erica: I hate it when you're right.
Myrtle: I know you do. And I hated it when sinbad, our sword-swallower, was always right -- except for the last time, when he picked up the wrong sword.

Bianca: Merry christmas!
Lena: Thank you! Hey, you're fashionably late.


Unverified in non-clip parts

***** (clip a) [Lena tries to placate a worried Erica waiting for Bianca]

[amc031224a starts]
[Montage of Christmas preparations at the Penthouse]
[Lena in the background trimming the tree; Maggie is hitting the nog]
Erica: I'm sure that I told Bianca seven o'clock.
Myrtle: Oh, darling, relax. She'll be here.
Erica: It's all my daughter seems to do lately. She drops out of sight. She doesn't tell anyone where she's going. What she's doing.
Lena: Well, okay, it's Christmas Eve. I'm sure she's just doing some last minute shopping at Lacey's.
Jack: [on otherside of door] Ho ho ho.
Erica: What?
Reggie: [on otherside of door]: Open up in the name of Saint Nick.
Erica: Maybe Bianca's with them [rushing to the door] Hi! Come on in!
Jack: [dressed as Claus] Merry Christmas. Ho ho ho. Give Santa a little kiss. Mwah.
Reggie: All right, all right. Everyone nice on the left, naughty on the right.
Maggie: I'm on the right.
Reggie: Yeah.
Erica: Reggie, Jack. Isn't Bianca with you?
Reggie: Oh no. There wasn't any room in the sleigh. But here's your piece of coal.

***** (clip b) [Lena does more background tree trimming]

[amc031224b starts]
Erica: Jack, I don't have a clue where bianca is.
Jack: Well, you just stay calm, my dear, and i will go see if i can round up our wayward girl, how's that?
Erica: You will?
Jack: I will.
Erica: Oh, thank you! Thank you so much.
Jack: And if i have a sighting, I'll give you a call.
Erica: Ok. Thank you.
Jack: I may just give you a call if I don't have a sighting. Be right back.
Erica: Ok.
[Jack leaves]
Myrtle: Darling? Coral says our goose is cooked and we can dig in anytime we like.
Erica: But what about bianca?
Myrtle: Darling, she's a grown woman. Now, if we don't believe that she can take care of herself, she's going to lose all faith in herself.
Erica: I hate it when you're right.
Myrtle: I know you do. And I hated it when sinbad, our sword-swallower, was always right -- except for the last time, when he picked up the wrong sword.
[Lena checks out the tree nog in hand in the background]
Erica: Ok, then. Everyone, dinner is served.
Myrtle: Reggie, come on.
Maggie: Um -- erica, what about bianca?
Erica: Oh, we are going to keep a plate warm for jackson and bianca when she comes home.
Maggie: Ok.
[Look of concerned Lena]

***** (clip c) [Lena tells Erica there was nothing to worry about Bianca's tardiness]

[amc031224c starts]
Erica: Thank you! Really.
Bianca: Hello!
Jack: Hey, hey, hey! Ho-ho-ho!
Erica: Oh, honey!
Jack: And bearing gifts, no less.
Erica: Thank you so much!
[Walks across room to hug Lena first]
Bianca: Merry christmas!
Lena: Thank you! Hey, you're fashionably late.
[Bianca then hugs Maggie while still checking out Lena]
Maggie: Merry christmas.
Erica: Oh, bianca, I'm so glad you're here, honey.
Bianca: I'm so sorry that i was late! I just had to get a message from a friend, a very good friend.
Maggie: The important thing is that you're here now.
Myrtle: Merry christmas, darling!
Bianca: Oh, myrtle! Merry christmas!
Myrtle: Oh, let me. Your eyes are glowing today.
Erica: Sweetheart, bianca, honey, what kept you?
Bianca: Oh, I was having a magical, mystical adventure.
Erica: No, really, where were you?
Bianca: Oh -- some last-minute christmas shopping.
Lena: Ah. See? I told you, erica, there's nothing to worry about.
Erica: Oh, me, worry?
Jack: Oh, no, no.
Bianca: Well, mom, you don't have to worry about me ever again.
Jack: All right, let's dig into these gifts. Let's see who has what, shall we?
Bianca: Oh, yes.
Reggie: I get the big one.
Maggie: Reggie, get the big gold one in the back? Yeah, the big gold one in the back. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bianca: Thanks to you, grandma, it's going to be a very merry christmas.

***** (clip d) [A couple of Lena shots in the gift giving scenes at the Penthouse over sung carols]

Singers: We wish you a merry christmas we wish you a merry christmas we wish you a merry christmas and a happy new year good tidings we bring to you and your kin good tidings for christmas and a happy new year we wish you a merry christmas we wish you a merry chstmas we wish you a merry christmas and a happy new year oh, bring us some figgy pudding oh, bring us some figgy pudding oh, [amc031224-inc starts] bring us some figgy pudding and a cup of good cheer we wish you a merry christmas we wish you a merry christmas we wish you a merry christmas and a happy new year we won't go until we get some we won't go until we get some we won't go until we get some so bring some out here we wish you a merry christmas we wish you a merry christmas we wish you a merry christmas and a happy new year
singer: Silent night holy night all is calm all is bright [Lena is background holding her present] 'round yon virgin mother and child holy infant so tender and mild sleep in heavenly peace sleep in heavenly peace silent night [Reggie gives Lena a gift] holy night son of god love's pure light radiance beams from thy holy face jesus, lord at thy birth jesus, lord at thy birth


I have the following clips (incompletes are marked "inc"):
amc031224a.mpg (10.4m; 1:01) Lena tries to placate a worried Erica waiting for Bianca
amc031224b.mpg (12.2m; 1:11) Lena does more background tree trimming
amc031224c.mpg (15.3m; 1:30) Lena tells Erica there was nothing to worry about Bianca's tardiness
amc031224d-inc.mpg (21.3m; 2:05) A couple of Lena shots in the gift giving scenes at the Penthouse while carols are sung

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