Whoosh! Due to studio cut backs, Lena and Bianca are forced to utilize Maggies wardrobe woman
Lena checks out the Maggie & Jamie action

Lena Kundera

December 29, 2003

(Lena on Next on AMC)
Last update: 01/04/03

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Lena Kundera (Olga Sosnovska)
Bianca Montgomery
Jamie Martin
Maggie Stone


Next on AMC: Bianca acts surprised that Maggie and Jamie are an item as Lena knowingly looks on.


From The Official Site at ABC.com:

Nothing about Lena

From About All My Children

Adam gleefully presents his guests from Llanview, Dorian Lord and Paul Cramer!
Bianca is stunned when Jamie shows up and Maggie kisses him.
Juan Pablo asks Greenlee, ďStay with me tonight!Ē
Ryan asks a grinning Kendall, ďAre you sure you donít need me?

From Soap Slut

No mention of the Lenameister


This all gay recap is by C.K..
Read all the All Gay Re-caps at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheAllGayRecap/.


  • Kendall is a tramp.
  • Aidan is a tramp.
  • Ryan screams.
  • Kendall sets Greenlee free.
  • Tad tries to free Krystal's cleavage.

Kendall's Condo - Aidan tells Kendall that sleeping with Ryan is not ok and she's a tramp.

Ok, fine, so he didnít say that - but he wanted to!

Kendall: "For the record, you should know that I did love you."

When, in the five minutes between the time you declared your love for Aidan and sex romporama on the roof with Ryan?  Yeah, whatever: you're on my shit list again, SunkenInTramp!

Aidan: "Your kind of love I can do without."

That's right Aidan.  Sniff.  Move on to someone who deserves you - but not Mia, please.  Anyone but her.

Betsy's Room Of Tears - You know what would make the Jar Jar Binks story interesting?  A marriage license!  To another man!  Which makes Babe a bigamist!  And calls into question the paternity of her child!  For the second time!  And you know what would make a great hiding place?  Krystal's bra!  Because she never loses it!  Never!

I'm so bored I think I'd rather do geometry.

Ryan's Den - Ryan, the most fluffed man in the history of fluffing, decides that tying Greenlee to a column in the middle of his living room is the perfect way to keep her away from Juan Pablo - and so is leaving her there while he goes out to buy groceries.

You know what else is a great idea, Ryan?  Crossing the street in front of a moving bus: you should try that sometime.

Pine Cone - Aidan is a bit of a tramp, too, and kisses Mia as soon as she and her Eau De Desperation cross into his room.

Even with Mia, he manages to be and look delicious but, to preserve and maintain my gay card, I keep my eyes on him and his scrumptious bootiliciousness.

Adam's Revolving Door - Simone wants to save Tad from Krystal.

Simone: "I'm not going to stand back and watch this woman who doesn't even know how to spell her name, a woman who is obviously a 'glamour don't,' sink her press-on nails into him."
Brooke: "Would that be Krystal - with a 'K'?'"

That's just sad - and sadder still because the writers obviously think cracking on Southerners is funny, funny, funny - because Southerners?  They can't read or write. 

Oh, Simone?  Your nails could give Freddy Kruger a nightmare.

In the tunnel, Tad kisses Krystal: the wall falls out and Simone bears her teeth.

Simone: "Oh, god: don't tell me that you did 'The Guru and the Cocktail Waitress' with her."
Tad: "No.  No, no, no, no.  The only game I'm interested in playing with Krystal is 'Find The Document.'"
Simone: "I don't know that one."

Bwah!  Thank god for Smoan: I was just about to run an experiment on the properties of gun powder.

Upstairs, In Betsy's room of torment, Babe and J.R. attempt to have an adult chat.

Babe: "You're not my first."

No, really?  I am shocked, SHOCKED!

Babe: "I mean you weren't my first husband.  [...]  It was ages ago, it was way before I even knew you and I was a totally different person."

So, that was, what, about nine weeks ago?  And your hair was brown?

The Last Scenes - In Betsy's room of matrimonial acrimony, Babe reveals the name of Husband Number 1.  I'm telling you right now, I will not, under any circumstance, recap the AMC/OLTL crossover, not for all the pure, black licorice in the land.  Well, ok: maybe for that.

Outside the Pine Cone, Mia and Simone spy on Aidan; they see a woman get into his car and, even though it's clearly Greenlee, Mia thinks it's Kendall.  Yeah, because they both have curly hair and are taller than a midget.  Feh.

Outside the loft, Kendall tries to keep Ryan from going out on New Year's Eve in search of Greenlee but the fresh coat of superglue stops her.

TOMORROW ON ALL MY CHILDREN:  Paul Cramer arrives; Jamie and Maggie have a date; Juan Pablo asks Greenlee to spend the night with him; Kendall doesn't need Ryan.


This parody is by LizzieT.

It was crossover fever at the Chandler Mansion.
Babe: Oh Mama, this document can ruin my life.
Krystal: What does it say?
Babe: I can't tell you. If you watched One Life to Live though you'd already know what it's all about.
Krystal: Sorry. I don't even watch Bold and the Beautiful anymore since they killed off my favorite character.

Later JR talked to Babe.
JR: Is there something you haven't told me? Babe: Those stories about me and the seventh fleet are all exaggerations.
JR: Anything else?
Babe: I was married before to this guy on One Life to Live and I'm afraid he will come back to haunt me.
JR: Don't worry about it. I used to be on General Hospital and no one from that show has shown up to haunt me. Though now that I think about it, your mother looks like someone I used to know on The Bold and the Beautiful.

Adam shared his information with Brooke.
Adam: I've invited Dorian Lord for a party.
Brooke: Isn't she on One Life to Live?
Adam: Yes. It's an exciting crossover featuring her nephew Paul and our character Babe - guaranteed to make the audience watch both shows to keep up with all the juicy details.
Brooke: If no one is interested in Babe on our show why do they think they'll be interested in her on another show?
Adam: You've got a point there.
Brooke: I just can't believe some One Life to Live character is going to get more screen time on our show than I do these days.
Adam: Sucks doesn't it?

Simone came looking for Tad.
Simone: He's with that awful Krystal isn't he?
Brooke: What makes you think that?
Simone: I'm no dummy. I saw them on The View together.
Tad and Krystal: Ooops, we fell out of the tunnel.
Adam: What's going on here?
Tad: Just a brief attempt to add some slapstick humor to liven up an otherwise dull episode.
Lizzie: :::yawn:::: It didn't work.
Tad: Don't worry Simone. I may be playing tonsil hockey with Krystal but you're the only woman I'm really interested in. Now you run along while I ask Krystal out for New Year's Eve.
Lizzie: I don't get it. I'm watching this and thinking that Tad isn't good enough for Simone. How strange is that?

And in the geometry portion of the show - triangles, rectangles, what have you:
Aidan and Kendall argued.
Ryan and Greenlee argued.
Greenlee and Kendall argued.
Kendall and Ryan argued.
Lizzie: Can this show get any lamer today?
Mia: Ohhhh Aidan! Guess who's heeeeerrrrrreeeee!
Lizzie: When am I ever going to learn to keep my mouth shut?


Bianca: You and maggie?


Unverified in non-clip parts

***** (clip a) [Next on AMC: Lena checking out Maggie and Jamie]

On the next "All my children" --
Adam: All the way from llanview, this is dorian lord and her nephew, paul cramer.
Bianca: You and maggie?
Juan pablo: Stay with me tonight.
Ryan: Are you sure you don't need me?


I have the following clips (incompletes are arked "inc"):
amc031229a-inc2.mpg (1.8m; 0:09) Next on AMC: Lena checking out Maggie and Jamie

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