REGULAR CAST, GUEST CAST & CREDITS
TV GUIDE PROMO
SYNOPSIS by Sally Dye
THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR
Verne Troyer (Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte)
Patrick Smith (Secretary of State James 'Jimmy' Madison)
Written by Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci
Directed by Charlie Haskell
TV GUIDE PROMO
A visit from Napoleon lands the Daring Dragoon in a card game to win the deed to the Louisiana Purchase.
Jack (Bruce Campbell) must face Napoleon (guest star Verne Troyer) in a game of poker in order to win back the state of Louisiana. ClickTV
Jack must beat Napoleon in poker to save his life and win Louisiana back from the French. ExciteTV
Starring the 32 inch Verne Troyer of Austin Powers fame as Napoleon. Not to be missed! Jack must beat the ruthless Napoleon in a game of poker to save his life and win Louisiana back from the French.
This commentary is by Sally Dye.
Jack and Emilia are in a tavern reading in the newspaper about how Louisiana has fallen to the French. They hear Jean-Claude at the bar. He tells them that the American Secretary of State will be arriving tomorrow to offer to purchase Louisiana from France. Jack and Em's mission is to protect the Secretary.
Jack and Emilia meet Croque, who says that the Emperor has arrived. The French anthem plays and a red carpet is rolled out. A "Mini Me"-sized Napoleon pops out of the carpet.
Croque faints and is revived by Napoleon smacking him with a pair of gloves. Croque greets Napoleon as his "dear brother". Napoleon takes a fancy to Emilia. A soldier laughs and Napoleon skewers him with his little sword.
A parade is held for Napoleon. Jack and Em are in the crowd. Jack tells Em to position herself on the grassy knoll while he hides in the book depository and they will eliminate the Emperor. Emilia: "Don't be silly, Jack. That would never work."
Jack and Emilia find Croque and Napoleon on the croquet course. Emilia begs to watch while Napoleon negotiates with the Americans. Jack bets that Napoleon can't make a difficult shot. Napoleon agrees, but cheats to make it. Brogard announces that Secretary of State James Madison has arrived.
Within seconds of meeting him Napoleon orders Madison executed. It was all a trap to eliminate Madison, whom Napoleon believes to be the brains behind the American government.
Emilia accompanies Croque and Napoleon to the execution. At the last moment, the Daring Dragoon arrives and saves Madison from the guillotine. He throws Madison on his horse and they ride off. Napoleon grabs a pistol and shoots Jack in the arm. Jack falls off his horse and is surrounded by soldiers.
Jack is about to be unmasked and killed, but Emilia thinks fast and mentions that the Dragoon is rumored to be the greatest poker player in the known world. She hints that Jack should challenge Napoleon to a game, knowing that Napoleon won't be able to resist showing off his skills at the game. Brogard advises them to kill the Dragoon, but Jack says that then he will die the greatest player that ever lived. Napoleon cannot resist the challenge and says for the Dragoon to meet him at sunset. If he's late, Napoleon will start killing children.
Emilia and Jack get James Madison back to her lab. He is in shock and doesn't seem to know what's going on. Em tends Jack's wound. Jack seems very nervous and Emilia accuses him of being scared. Jack: "Only two things scare me, sister -- marriage and clown painting." Emilia says, "Look! Napoleon!" Jack jumps and drops his glass, proving her point. Jack confesses that a fortune teller had told him right before he came to Pulau Pulau that the shrimp would be the death of him. He thinks Napoleon is the shrimp she was referring to. Em advises him to picture Napoleon in his underwear and then nothing can intimidate him.
At the mansion, Napoleon is pacing on top of the card table. Em volunteers to be the dealer. The Dragoon arrives. As they play, Napoleon accuses Jack of being a spy. Napoleon leaps onto the table and challenges Jack to admit that Jack is a liar and that Napoleon is the best. Jack recalls Em's advice and pictures Napoleon in a set of polka-dotted long johns. He pictures everyone else in their underwear, too. This gives him his confidence back. Jack goads Napoleon into upping the stakes, and Napoleon throws his wedding ring onto the table. Jack draws three cards to a pair of jacks. Napoleon also draws three and ends up with three kings. Jack doesn't even look at his three cards. He says it's so Napoleon won't know if he's bluffing. This drives Napoleon crazy. Jack says he will fold if Napoleon doesn't put up the deed to Louisiana, so he does. Napoleon distracts everyone's attention by saying, "Look! The Ghost of Christmas Past!" and draws a card from his boot. Jack turns over two of his cards -- they are both jacks. Napoleon says he wins and shows four kings. Jack says not quite and turns over the fifth card, a joker. He wins with five of a kind. Jack takes his winnings and leaps out the window.
Madison is still unresponsive, but Jack stuffs the deed to Louisiana into his coat and sends him off to America. In appreciation for Em's help, he gives her the ring he won. Em pulls a card from behind his ear and says she really did help him. They make a series of bad puns about playing cards. Jack: "You'd better laugh, or I'll club ya."
02-15-00. Verne Troyer, who played Mini-Me in AUSTIN POWERS 2, will play Napoleon in JACK OF ALL TRADES the week of 21 Feb.
THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR
11-09-01. From marguimarz. In this episode, Brogard also introduces Napoleon as "the supreme Emperor du France". Now remember, this episode is supposed to take place in 1801 and Napoleon did not become Emperor of France until 1804. I suppose I should give this nit the Continuity Award of Historical Nits-because at least they managed to stay consistant in this little historical nit.
11-09-01. From marguimarz. During the card game when Napoleon is practicing his psychological warfare on the Daring Dragoon, he climbs up onto the table and approaches the Dragoon. Notice the 5 cards on the table just to the left of Napoleon's feet. Where did they come from? When we cut back to Jack as he is imagining everyone in their underwear, we can see his cards still in his left hand. When Napoleon storms away moments later, the cards are missing from the table.
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