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Season 1, episode 08
Series 108
1st release: 03/06/00
2nd release: 06/12/00
3rd release: 09/04/00
Production number: 1258/1305
Last update: 11/09/01

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SYNOPSIS by Sally Dye

Bruce Campbell (Jack Stiles)
Angela Dotchin (Emilia Rothschild)
Stuart Devenie (Governor Croque)
Stephen Papps (Captaine Brogard)

Verne Troyer (Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte)
Celia Nicholson (Empress Josephine Bonaparte)
Erica Hooper (Candy)
Cat Roscoe (Bubbles)
Shemp Wooley (voice of Jean-Claude)
Paul Norell (Priest)

Written by Andre and Marie Jacquemetton
Directed by Charlie Haskell


Emilia (Angela Dotchin) agrees to marry Napoleon (guest star Verne Troyer) in order to save England from an invasion. ClickTV

Emilia agrees to marry Napoleon in an attempt to protect England. ExciteTV


1st release: 03/06/00
An AA average of 2.5
Competition from Syndicated Action Dramas:
ER 3.9
X-Files 3.7
Xena 3.3
Stargate SG-1 3.2
VIP 3.0
Back2Back/Baywatch Hawaii 2.5
Profiler/Beast Master/Earth Final Conflict 2.4
Lost World 2.1
Relic Hunter 1.9

2nd release: 06/12/00
An AA average of 2.4
Competition from Syndicated Action Dramas:
X-Files 3.2
Xena 2.8
Stargate SG-1 2.6
Back2Back 2.4
Earth Final Conflict/Profiler 2.3
Relic Hunter 2.1
Star Trek: Voyager 1.9
Outer Limits 1.7

3rd release: 09/04/00
An AA average of 2.2
Competition from Syndicated Action Dramas:
X-Files 3.1
Xena 3.0
Back2Back 2.2
Invisible Man 2.0
Earth Final Conflict/Stargate SG-1 1.9
Star Trek: Voyager 1.8
Outer Limits/Relic Hunter 1.4


This commentary is by Sally Dye.


Croque opens his safe to discover Napoleon inside. Napoleon says he is nervous about Josephine learning where he is. He says he is planning to divorce Josephine because she has not given him an heir. He tells Croque he is going to choose a "fertile young bride" from the women on Pulau Pulau.

Emilia and Jack come in as Napoleon is inspecting a group of young women. Napoleon pinches Emilia's chin and congratulates her on having the honor of becoming his new bride.

Act I

Napoleon tells Croque to say hello to his new sister-in-law. He attempts to look down Emilia's blouse and Em slaps him. Napoleon likes her spirit. He tells Em that if she doesn't marry him he will shred all the treaties between England and France. He will cross the English Channel and leave nothing standing in England but Stonehenge. Em says at least they should have a first date. Napoleon says okay, dinner tonight, "and for dessert, I'll have you."

Jack sends Jean-Claude to Paris on a mission. He then goes to visit Croque and tells him they must stop the marriage. Croque is in agreement because he wants to be Emperor and knows it will never happen if Napoleon has an heir. Jack says for Croque to delay the marriage and he will do the rest.

Em and Napoleon have dinner. Em is disgusted by Napoleon's flatulence. Napoleon decrees that it is time for dessert and runs the length of the table toward Emilia. Em traps him under a huge lid. Napoleon says he will destroy England and gives Em a choice: "Your hand or your country". Em thinks for a moment and then responds, "My hand." At that moment, a voluptuous woman with an elaborate blonde wig and buck teeth enters (Jack in drag). To both Napoleon's and Em's surprise, Jack introduces himself as Napoleon's new mother-in-law to be -- Jack...lyn. Jack sits Napoleon on his lap and quizzes him about his job, if it pays well, how big a house he has, etc. Napoleon is appalled when he learns that Em's "mother" plans to live with them.

Act II

Back at Emilia's lab, Em is exasperated with Jack for his interference. Jack says he is trying to help. Em: "How foolish of me to count on you to respect my decision." Jack is incredulous that Em is thinking about going through with the marriage. Em says she feels that it is the best way to serve her country.

Croque and Jack try to stall the wedding, but Croque is forced to grant Napoleon's divorce (even though it is only effective on Pulau Pulau). They play loud accordion music and bring in roses (Napoleon is allergic), but Napoloen just says he will get married somewhere else on the island. Jack says he has one more card to play -- the bachelor party.

Jack and Croque throw Napoleon a bachelor party at the Drunken Pig pub. When drinking a keg of wine doesn't put Napoleon under the table, Jack introduces Candy and Bubbles, who come in dressed in patriotic costumes and proceed to take them off. Napoleon is quite taken with them.

The next morning, Napoleon wakes up in bed with Candy and Bubbles and a hangover. He realizes it's time for the wedding and makes his way very unsteadily to the chapel where everyone awaits. Jack (as Jacklyn) and Croque are dismayed to see him there. Jack tells Croque to get up to the altar and keep stalling. The Wedding March begins and Emilia walks down the aisle as Napoleon is throwing up in the flower pots. Croque begins the ceremony. Jacklyn jumps up and runs out, saying she needs air. Jack then changes into the Dragoon outfit and returns just in time to prevent Em from saying "I do". Napoleon and Jack go outside to fight. Jack takes on all the soldiers. Then Jack and Napoleon fight. Just as Napoleon is about to skewer Jack with his sword, Josephine appears. She grabs Napoleon and tells him he has chores to do back at the palace -- cutting her bunions, waxing her back, etc. She drags Napoleon off. Croque and Brogard look around for the Dragoon, but he is gone.

Em finds Jack and they sit and talk. Em says she would have gone through with the wedding. Jack says she is "one committed freedom fighter." They share a toast with wine Jack filched from the wedding feast. Jack: "To the bride". Em: "And her best man...well, a pretty good one."

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