Whoosh! Issue 51 - December 2000

CAPTION THIS NO. 13
Exclusive to Whoosh!
By Nicola Guest and Marian Pappaceno
Content © 2000 by authors
Edition © 2000 by Whoosh!



Editor's Note: As a fun exercise, Whoosh! each month presents a cartoon drawn by Nicola Guest and/or Marian Pappaceno, and then invites its readers to send in their ideas of possible captions for the cartoon. All the received captions (unless deemed too wild and woolly) are published in the next month's issue. Submissions must be received by the 20th of the month to be considered for inclusion in the next month's issue.




Caption This No. 13a
Caption This No. 13b
Caption This No. 13c
Caption This No. 12a
Caption This No. 12b
Caption This No. 12c
Past Caption Thises
Biographies



Caption This No. 13





Caption This No. 13a

Hey, this is YOUR job now, cowkids! Send your caption right now!

By Nicola Guest
Send your captions to Kym Taborn.




Caption This No. 13b

Hey, this is YOUR job now, cowkids! Send your caption right now!

By Marian Pappaceno
Send your captions to Kym Taborn.




Caption This No. 13c

Hey, this is YOUR job now, cowkids! Send your caption right now!

By Marian Pappaceno
Send your captions to Kym Taborn.




Caption This No. 12a

Hey, this is YOUR job now, cowkids! Send your caption right now!

01. Po: lalagoogoolala [translation: I'm a little teapot].
Tinkeywinkey: googoolalala [I've got a tummy]!
Lala: poopooogaga [Lala goes toot toot]!
Dipsy: hahaha [I can't believe I'm stuck with you guys].
Xena: Gabrielle... [Hold me, I'm scared].
Gabrielle: Xena... [What the ???? is THAT]?
Argo: Nyeeehah! [This is too twisted... I'm outta here...]

(from D. J. Hall)

02. The remaining Gods torture Xena and Gabrielle with their new constellations.
(from Ma2shka)

03. Tinky Winky: "Xeeeeennnnnnaaaaaaa!"
Dipsy: "Weeee are the neeeeewwww Olympian goooooddddds!"
Laa-Laa: "Weeee will never stop haaauuuunnnting yoooouuuuu!"
Po: "Biiiiiiig Huuuuuuuuug!"
Xena: "That's it. I quit!"
Gabrielle: "Ditto."
Argo II: "Please, euthanize me."

(from Ma2shka)

04. Gabrielle: "Xena, tell me, what do the stars look like to you?"
Xena: "Hmmm..."

(from Virginia & Lourdes S.)

05. LaLa: "Tinky-Winky, tell us a bedtime story, pretty please?"
Tinky-Winky: "In a time of ancient gods, warlords and kings...best friends called Xena and Gabrielle..."
Po: "Again, again, again!"
Dipsy: "Aaaah. I'm sleepy."

(from Virginia & Lourdes S.)

06. Sadly, the replacements for the Greek Pantheon fared no better at the hands of Xena...
(from G. Gruschow)

07. Gabrielle: "By the gods, Xena! It's... It's a sign!"
Teletubbies: "Beware our master, the Purple Demon of PBS!"
Xena: "Well, that was as clear as Ares' corny 'I love you, Xena' attempts."
Off-camera: "Hyuk hyuk hyuk!"

(from Ma2shka)

08. Gabrielle: Um, Xena, I think I'd rather have the Olympians back.
(from Thomas Healy)

09. Xena: "We've stared down Gods and fought men with bad teeth, but..."
Gabrielle: "We've never seen anything as terrifying as this."

(from Karen McHugh)

10. Gabrielle: "Xena, is Alti sending you another vision of the future or have you just been eating those mushrooms again?"
Xena: "I hope to the gods that it's just a hallucination Gabrielle, because it's TERRIFYING!"

(from Emily Mills)

11. After Hope, Callisto and the Furies, our heroines steeled themselves to face the ultimate evil.
(from Andrew L. Shaughnessy)

12. The surviving Olympians' efforts at disguise grew increasingly desperate.
(from Andrew L. Shaughnessy)

13. "Either the Olympians or Dahak, would be better."
(from BekahsOwn)

14. Xena decided that that was the last time she'd let Gabrielle pick the mushrooms for their evening meal.
(from Jasper Hedger)





Caption This No. 12b

Hey, this is YOUR job now, cowkids! Send your caption right now!

01. Gabrielle: Perdicus, you're dead and I'm a lesbian. Get over it.
(from D. J. Hall)

02. Phantom Virgil: (singing) "I'm the Phantom of the Opera..."
Gabrielle: "Oh puh-lease, gimme a break. We've done two musicals already. I cannot lip-synch anymore."

(from Virginia & Lourdes S.)

03. Gabrielle: "How many times do I have to tell you, leave me alone?! My heart belongs to Xena."
(from Virginia & Lourdes S.)

04. Gabrielle: Joxer, how many times do I have to tell you? I'm not the one who goes for men with a dark side. Xena is. And wash off that paint!
(from Thomas Healy)

05. Virgil: "Flowers for a flower."
Gabrielle: "OK, now this is just downright creepy."
Xena, offscreen: "Eve? Eve dear, where are you? I need you to do to Virgil what you did to his daddy..."

(from Emily Mills)

06. Gabrielle: Virgil, for the last time. I said no!
Virgil: Oh, come on Gabrielle. I'm only 25 years younger then you are.

(from Joanne)

07. "Sigh...like father, like son!"
(from Andrew L. Shaughnessy)

08. Joxer's spirit possesses Virgil's body in a last-ditch attempt to get into Gabby's hotpants.
(from Andrew L. Shaughnessy)

09. The Salmoneus Guide to Courtship. (2nd edition.) A gift of flowers is wonderful way of showing you care.
The Salmoneus Guide to Courtship. (1st edition.) Distracting her with flowers will give you time to unfasten her brassiere.

(from Jasper Hedger)





Caption This No. 12c

Hey, this is YOUR job now, cowkids! Send your caption right now!

01. Xena discovers that nappy-changing is NOT among her "many skills."
(from D. J. Hall)

02. Xena: "What in Hades is this?"
(from Virginia & Lourdes S.)

03. Xena: "Gabriiieeeelllleeee! I am too butch for this."
(from Virginia & Lourdes S.)

04. Xena: "Where in Hades do I stick this in?"
(from Virginia & Lourdes S.)

05. Xena: "Where's your other mother?"
(from Virginia & Lourdes S.)

06. Xena: "Sheesh, Eve, when you raise a stink..."
(from Ma2shka)

07. Xena suddenly finds herself unable to decide how to use the small pointy dangerous thing in her hand.
(from Ma2shka)

08. Gabrielle, Gabrielle! Do I put the pin through the baby, or through the diaper?
(from GB)

09. Xena: D*mn, I wish I could skip this part of motherhood.
TPTB [The Powers That Be]: And so you shall.

(from Thomas Healy)

10. The combination of Callisto's soul and Xena's genetics made Eve a little stinker from the start.
(from Emily Mills)

11. Xena: Oh, Eve... you smell.
Eve: gaaa gooo. hee hee
Xena: Now, where do I fit this pin again?

(from Joanne)

12. Xena has many skills - diaper changing isn't one of them!
(from Andrew L. Shaughnessy)

13. Even having given her soul over to the greater good, Callisto could still enjoy the odd payback.
(from Jasper Hedger)





Past Caption Thises


Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 11a.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 11a.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 11a.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 10a.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 10a.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 9a.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 9b.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 8a.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 8b.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 7a.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 7b.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 6a.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 6b.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 5a.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 5b.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 4a.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 4b.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 3.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 2.
Click here to read the captions for Caption This No. 1.





Biographies

Nicola Guest Nicola Guest

I live "across the pond" in bonny old England, currently doing a Degree in Media Production, specialising in Animation. I enjoy directing, storyboarding and creating comedy scripts (I like comedy alot so that's why the funny episodes of XWP are my favourite!) I'm also getting into web design and have started to produce my own site: http://www.c-gue.demon.co.uk/. At the moment I'm living the typical life of a student and loving every minute of it.
Favorite episodes: A DAY IN THE LIFE, IN SICKNESS AND IN HELL, IF THE SHOE FITS
Favorite line: Gabrielle: "It's a SACK Xena" IF THE SHOE FITS
First episode seen: IN SICKNESS AND IN HELL
Least favorite episode: ULYSSES

Joxer-impaired Spice Marian Pappaceno
Writer
Marian Pappaceno, now a New Yorker after meeting her love on-line in 1992, was raised in the glitter of Las Vegas, which probably contributed to her sideways sense of humor. Always the tough gal, she was happy to play the role of the bad guy with the neighborhood kids, usually as a thief or alien-come-to-conquer-earth. An artist at heart, she draws constantly when not at her job in nuclear medicine. She shares her home with several animals, including a german shepherd who knows how to work the ice machine.
Favorite episode: BITTER SUITE(58/312)
Favorite line: Gabrielle with centaur dropping in hand: "...don't eat....Oh, thank you...thank you VERY much!" HOOVES AND HARLOTS (10/110)
First episode seen: FISTFUL OF DINARS (14/114)
Least favorite episode: THE TITANS (07/107)



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