5Oth ISSUE OF WHOOSH: PERSONAL CONTRIBUTION
By Nicola Guest
50th Issue Project
Content copyright © 2000 held by author
Edition copyright © 2000 held by Whoosh!
Happy 50th Issue WHOOSH! (01-08)
Happy 50th Issue WHOOSH!
Gwyneth is not this fan's role model. I wonder who is?
 To start with, I would just like to say how happy I am (but not to the extent of blubbering uncontrollably like Gwenyth Paltrow!), that I was asked to write a little something towards this celebration.
 For those who do not know, I am one of the two cartoonists for "Caption This", a section that has been running since December 1999. Back then, I remember worrying what people would think of my cartoons. Would people like it? Would they reply? Would they even bother looking at the page? Thankfully though, you guys out there showed me there was nothing to worry about when all the captions came flooding in.
 You guys might have heard the phrase: "Nobody does something for nothing" or something along those lines! And in my case I plead guilty.
 So what do I get out of it?
 First, "Caption This" has helped me show off my work over the Internet, which is aiding my future career in media production.
 Second, and more importantly, I get the reward of seeing people enjoy my cartoons and I always look forward to reading everyone's caption submissions. There are always some that I read and think: "Hey, that's better than the caption I was thinking of!" And a bit of fan mail has never done any harm to the old ego!
 Until I run out of fresh ideas I hope to be doing "Caption This" for a long time! I try to make my cartoons universally funny, picking up on recent trends/topics, such as "Pokemon", therefore nobody misses out on the joke. Also, I have a keen, perhaps to the point of sad, interest in Greek Mythology and this years trip to the Acropolis has also inspired me with plenty of ideas for the time being.
 I hope you all keep on enjoying "Caption This".
Nicola Guest, "Caption This No. 1" WHOOSH #39 (December 1999)
Nicola Guest, "Caption This No. 2" WHOOSH #40 (January 2000)
Nicola Guest, "Caption This No. 3" WHOOSH #41 (February 2000)
Nicola Guest and Marian Samuels, "Caption This No. 4" WHOOSH #42 (March 2000)
Nicola Guest and Marian Samuels, "Caption This No. 5" WHOOSH #43 (April 2000)
Nicola Guest and Marian Samuels, "Caption This No. 6" WHOOSH #44 (May 2000)
Nicola Guest and Marian Samuels, "Caption This No. 7" WHOOSH #45 (June 2000)
Nicola Guest and Marian Samuels, "Caption This No. 8" WHOOSH #46 (July 2000)
Nicola Guest and Marian Samuels, "Caption This No. 9" WHOOSH #47 (August 2000)
Nicola Guest and Marian Samuels, "Caption This No. 10" WHOOSH #48 (September 2000)
Nicola Guest and Marian Samuels, "Caption This No. 11" WHOOSH #49 (October 2000)
I live "across the pond" in bonny old England, currently doing a Degree in Media Production, specializing in Animation. I enjoy directing, storyboarding and creating comedy scripts (I like comedy a lot so that's why the funny episodes of XWP are my favorite!) I'm also getting into web design and have started to produce my own site: http://www.c-gue.demon.co.uk/. At the moment I'm living the typical life of a student and loving every minute of it.
Favorite episode:A DAY IN THE LIFE, IN SICKNESS AND IN HELL, IF THE SHOE FITS
Favorite line:"It's a SACK Xena" IF THE SHOE FITS
First episode seen:IN SICKNESS AND IN HELL
Least favorite episode:ULYSSES
XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS SOME PERSONAL FAVORITES
By Andrew Shaughnessy
50th Issue Project
Content copyright © 2000 held by author
Edition copyright © 2000 held by Whoosh!
Season One (02-13)
Season Two (14-25)
Season Three (26-36)
Season Five (37-47)
Xena is a great runner.
 To celebrate the 50th issue of WHOOSH I have compiled a list of my favorite episodes from Seasons 1-5, less Season 4 that has only just begun on UK terrestrial TV, highlighting the areas that make these episodes memorable for me. There are four categories, although not every episode will feature all of them:1) GREAT MOMENTS: Scenes and performances which I will always associate with XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS at its best.
2) NICE TOUCHES: These may not qualify as Great Moments, but they still enhance the quality of the episode in some way.
3) FAVORITE LINES: These can be character defining moments or just jokes, but they help to make the show what it is.
4) MUSICAL HIGHLIGHTS: Have you ever stopped to think what the show would be like without Joe LoDuca's score?
SINS OF THE PAST (01/101)
 The pre-credit teaser sets up not only this episode, but also the entire series. We see the aftermath of one of Xena's attacks and flashbacks to her warlord past, followed by Xena trying to literally bury the past. We then meet Gabrielle for the first time and witness Xena's hyperactive fighting style, including the war cry, a nifty chakram toss, and her disconcerting habit of laughing at her opponents. If they could have worked in a "pinch interrogation", it would have been perfect!
Gabrielle: "You're not alone".
 The beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Draco: "A deal's a deal".
 He may be a villain, but at least he is honorable.
 For my money, this show has the best main title theme EVER!
HOOVES AND HARLOTS (10/110)
 This episode is a milestone in Gabrielle's development. With her adoption by the Amazons, and her acquisition of the much-loved "Gabwhacker", a whole new dimension is added to her character.
 Centaur-drawn chariots: bizarre but impressive!
Xena: "What's this?"
Gabrielle: "I'm an Amazon Princess?"
 I can never hear "Gabby Dance" on the original CD without seeing her being completely carried away during the campfire celebration.
Callisto is a great psychopath but a lousy dresser.
 Everyone's favorite psycho makes her debut. Right from the start, Hudson Leick makes the role her own, managing to arouse a sneaking sympathy for Callisto. Her occasional bouts of near-sanity only serve to make her more frightening, and her final confrontation with Xena on the ladders is a classic.
FAVORITE LINESCallisto: "In a way I'm disappointed, Xena. There was a part of me that hoped you would win and put out the rage in my heart. Sometimes it even scares me - but then I get over it!"
 "The Wrath of Callisto" is heard for the first time in this episode. I love the way the discordant vocals manage to embody Callisto's madness and hatred for Xena.
IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE? (24/124)
 What can I say about this episode? From the surreal opening scenes to the M*A*S*H-style operating theatre in the temple, this is XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS at its best. I have to confess, I was horrified near the end. With no other information to go on, and remembering what happened to Tasha Yar in STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION, I really thought Gabrielle was dead! All due credit to Lucy Lawless for her performance here, as Xena loses her self-control over the (temporary) death of her friend.
 Inventing CPR by accident? Great idea! Not just a convenient plot device, but something plausible. Even Xena does not realize what she has done, referring to Gabrielle's "resurrection" as a miracle.
FAVORITE LINESXena (to Gabrielle): "Don't leave me! Don't you leave me! Don't leave me! Don't leave me! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!"
 Lucy Lawless gives it everything in this scene.
REMEMBER NOTHING (26/202)
 Renee O'Connor does a painfully effective job portraying the alternate Gabrielle, an almost monochromatic character compared to her usual, colorful self. The light has not gone out completely, though, as we see when she emerges wearing Cyrene's dress. Aaron Devitt is perfectly cast as Lyceus. Now we know why Xena misses him so much. He has his sister's determination, but his enthusiasm and breezy confidence are very reminiscent of Gabrielle. In a way, the little bard is a surrogate for the brother Xena lost.
He had a problem not only with hygiene, but keeping alive as well.
Lyceus was the Alt Gabrielle's first redshirt.
 Lyceus asks Xena "Is my face dirty or something?" hearkening to her comment "You always did have trouble keeping your face clean" in SINS OF THE PAST.
FAVORITE LINESAlternate Gabrielle: "I reminded you of your friend."
Xena: "No, you ARE my friend."
 The haunting "At Mother's Tomb" would be heard again, notably in GABRIELLE'S HOPE (51/305) and MATERNAL INSTINCTS (57/311).
THE QUEST (37/213)
 This, for me, is the episode where Gabrielle finally grows up. Despite her loss, she squares her shoulders, and faces up to her responsibilities as Amazon Queen. Renee O'Connor puts in another great performance, and Bruce Campbell is in top form as Autolycus.
 I love Renee O'Connor's impersonation of Lucy Lawless when Gabrielle is "possessed" by Xena. They look nothing like each other, yet somehow she manages it.
FAVORITE LINESGabrielle: "Autolycus...get your hand off my b*tt."
Autolycus (to Velasca): "Hey, I paid for an hour!"
 Now THAT is defiance!
A DAY IN THE LIFE (39/215)
 Too many to list fully, but the campsite skirmish with a frying pan standing in for Xena's chakram, Gabrielle's incandescent reaction to having one of her scrolls used as ersatz toilet paper, and Xena's fruitless attempts to launch her flying parchment spring to mind.
 The Frasier-style Greek captions with subtitles, and the "roadkill" hedgehog in Gareth's footprint.
FAVORITE LINESXena: "I like to be creative in a fight. It gets my juices going."
Gabrielle: "Can we cook with your juices?"
 The mind boggles!
THE PRICE (44/220)
 There is real tension between our two heroines as Xena reverts to her old self. Despite this, Gabrielle, although appalled by her friend's behavior, remains loyal, and manages to drag Xena back from the abyss.
 Gabrielle's discovery that "kaltaka" is simply a plea for water.
FAVORITE LINESXena: "You understand hatred but you have never given in to it. You don't know how much I love...that."
 As in THE QUEST (37/213), Xena comes very close to revealing the true depth of her feelings for Gabrielle.
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT (48/302)
Xena makin' calculations in her head.
 Moving from tragedy to near-farce via all points in between, this episode allows Lucy Lawless to express every emotion in the book. Compare the choked sob when she finds Argo murdered to the screaming tantrum she throws when yet ANOTHER brilliant plan fails. Not forgetting, of course, the wonderful "murdered rooster" gag!
 This episode confirms that Cupid prefers love stories to have happy endings, and Xena saves the day (or days) with the ultimate chakram toss.
FAVORITE LINESXena (to Gabrielle): "He'd crawl fifty miles on broken glass just to sweat in your shadow."You and me both, Joxer!
THE DELIVERER (50/304)
 Jennifer Ward-Lealand makes a splendid Boadicea, and the loss of Gabrielle's blood-innocence is as shocking as it is unexpected. That scene still makes me shiver when I see it, largely due to another outstanding performance by Renee O'Connor.
 This episode finally solves the mystery of Stonehenge!
FAVORITE LINESXena "You got my message."
Boadicea: "Barely - you need to polish your sword."
 "Xena Kicks Bacchae B*tt" was actually written for GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN, but I will always associate its relentless chanting with this episode.
THE DEBT II (53/307)
 The sexual chemistry between Xena and Lao Ma is incredible. This subtext is barely "sub" at all. I could certainly imagine these two women as lovers, something I have yet to manage with Xena and Gabrielle. The reconciliation scene in Ming T'ien's dungeon is beautifully handled, with nicely understated performances from both Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor.
 The way the dead Ming T'ien's eyes cloud over in the very last scene.
FAVORITE LINESXena: "Scratch my nose, will you?"Gabrielle was not the only one sobbing at this point.
 There is little original music in Season Three, this episode being one of the rare exceptions. The oriental score is very evocative, especially the music underpinning the more intimate scenes between Xena and Lao Ma.
ONE AGAINST AN ARMY (59/313)
Gabrielle was so far gone that she was hallucinating cut dialogue from SINS OF THE PAST's script.
 After the trauma of The Rift comes a pure Xena/Gabrielle character piece, something all too rare nowadays. Both actresses make every effort to impress in their heart-to-heart conversations. Interestingly, Gabrielle comes across as emotionally stronger and maturer than Xena. Despite being physically helpless for much of the episode, she manages to keep her friend from flying apart, reminding Xena of "the greater good" (saving Greece from the Persians) and accepting her death as the price. Xena gets to do what she does best, however, racking up an amazing body count in the final scenes. All in all, my favorite episode of the season.
 The Persians are correctly shown with a high proportion of archers. Historical accuracy in XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS, whatever next? See AMPHIPOLIS UNDER SIEGE (104/514)
FAVORITE LINESXena: "But you're my source, Gabrielle. When I reach down inside myself and do things I'm not capable of, it's because of you. Don't you know that by now?"MUSICAL HIGHLIGHTS
 Nothing original, but "The Warrior Princess" and "Xena Kicks Bacchae B*tt" are used to good effect in the finale.
FALLEN ANGEL (91/501)
 From the glowing Star of David to the laughing angels, the opening scenes are breathtaking. I have never seen anything like this before in a movie, much less a TV episode. Callisto's reunion with her parents reduced me to tears the first time I saw it, and it still brings a lump to my throat. A special mention must go to Charles Mesure for his performance as Michael, striking just the right balance between strength and compassion.
 Lucy Lawless buries herself in Xena's demon persona and Renee O'Connor makes a stunning archangel. When Callisto's parents first appear, note the astonished look Pankos gives Arleia, as if to say "Hasn't she grown". The use of wooden washers to secure the nails during crucifixion has been confirmed by archeologists.
FAVOURITE LINESJoxer: "Well, I'm gonna bring their bodies back to Greece. You can help me or not."
Callisto: "I'm so sorry."
Gabrielle: "I am, too."
 Joe LoDuca's score for this episode won a richly-deserved Emmy. The music that accompanies the angelic "welcoming committee" is simply beautiful.
LYRE, LYRE, HEARTS ON FIRE (100/510)
For the 100th episode, it was not too bad. NOT!
 I was going to mention Gabrielle's go-go outfit, but thought better of it.
 Okay, now I will mention it. The bikini and boots were bad enough, but adding gloves to the equation caused severe damage to the knuckles on my right hand.
FAVOURITE LINESGabrielle: "You mean a lot to me."
Joxer: "So what are you doing tonight?"
Gabrielle: "Not a chance in Tartarus."
Jace: "Xena! Come quick! The crowd's going wild - they want an encore!"
Xena: "I'd love to, but I'm fresh out of *ss*s to kick."
 Jay Laga'aia's thrash metal rendition of "Always Something There to Remind Me" has altered my view of Sandy Shaw for life! Lucy Lawless also shows that being heavily pregnant has not affected her singing voice in any way.
AMPHIPOLIS UNDER SIEGE (104/514)
 Cyrene defying Athena by singing "Glede Ma Glede" took me right back to SINS OF THE PAST (01/101), a fitting tribute to those diehard fans who have been around since the first episode. The battle scenes are particularly impressive, especially the explosion erupting at Gabrielle's feet. What a change to see an army that appears to be conforming to an actual plan of attack!
 Paris Jefferson makes an impressive debut as Athena, despite her lack of height. Note also that the Roman troops are using the correct pattern of sword for the first century BCE, with a broad-shouldered blade and a long point.
FAVORITE LINES:Ares: "So, Sis, how goes the siege?"
Athena: "I'm about to start catapulting dead cows into the village."
Ares: "And a classic it is."
ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA (108/518)
 ANTONY is a visually spectacular episode, in which Xena orchestrates the destruction of the last of her Roman foes. The final melee on board Antony's flagship captures all the confusion of hand-to-hand combat. In common with earlier episodes, the actors portraying the major Roman personalities seem to have captured their characters very accurately.
 The solitary Roman soldier sitting on the steps clutching his sword, clearly in a state of shock after the battle. Do not get me started on Gabrielle's Egyptian look. This did it for the knuckles on my other hand.
FAVORITE LINESCleopatra: "Is it just me, Shiana, or do crises only happen when I'm naked?" Check out the "Oh, brother!" look between Antony and his lieutenant.
Roman Soldier: "It's a carpet, sir!"
Rolled rugs should always be inspected before unfurling at home.
Andrew Shaughnessy, "Season Three: A Chronological Minefield", WHOOSH #43 (April 2000)
Andrew was born in England but lives and works in Wrexham, Wales. His fascination with ancient Greece and Rome began almost as soon as he could read, culminating in his studying Classical Civilizations at college. XWP allows him to combine this with his love of heroic fantasy fiction, although he has yet to find a way of working in his other hobby of photography. He believes that UK terrestrial viewers get a raw deal in being two seasons behind the US, and that worshipping Renee O'Connor as a goddess does NOT constitute obsessive behavior.
Favorite episode:IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE? (24/124); A DAY IN THE LIFE (39/215); ONE AGAINST AN ARMY (59/313); FALLEN ANGEL (91/501)
Favorite line:Gabrielle: "You're not alone." SINS OF THE PAST (01/101); Xena: "But you're my source, Gabrielle. When I reach down inside myself and do things I'm not capable of, it's because of you. Don't you know that by now?" ONE AGAINST AN ARMY (59/313)
First episode seen:SINS OF THE PAST (01/101)
Least favorite episode:Any episode where Xena physically or emotionally abuses Gabrielle.
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