Whoosh! Issue 21 - June 1998

The Gabberish Lexicon
-- Herstory Revisited

Those archaeologist/scholars devoted to the restoration of the Xena Scrolls and other lost histories by the Bard of Poteidaia.

GABrogue Historian:
Gabberish Historians who, in defiance of conventional academia, determine along with GABbarcheologists to restore Gabrielle to her rightful place in the course of human events.

Napolean GABonabarde:
French military leader and Emperor of France.

Greek History Revisited

MacGabbers have taken to upon themselves to correct the oversights of herstory! Buckeye, MacGab's Gabrogue Historian, pointed out that as Gabrielle went, so went Greece. Perhaps this would also explain the expression, "The Golden Age of Greece"? After all, wasn't it PythGABoras whose invention of the Gabrielle Hair Color Wheel inspired an entire school of thought which included such followers as the brilliant leader and mathemetician, AROChytus? Gabrielle's influence on the philosophers, generals, leaders, scientists and even triangle players of Ancient Greece will be illuminated as you read on....

Controversy surrounds the true identity of this goddess, now widely believed to be at least a twin of Aphrodite who, in the Greek Pantheon, was the Goddess of Love. Descriptions of beauty and soft charms once attributed to Aphrodite may, in fact, more aptly reflect the attributes of AphROCdite. A recently unearthed scroll provided the evidence long sought by many expert GABarchaeologists. One key passage in the scroll has been translated thus: "...and having as her special ornament the cestus or girdle*, the loan of which was enough to inspire love...." Certainly the "girdle" of this passage refers to the mythic BGSB, the garment most associated with Gabrielle, Bard of Poteidaia.

Under his leadership, the Italian-Greek (Italiot) city of Taras became the principal Greek center of southern Italy. Among other things, Taras was famous for its popular theatre (hilaROCtragoedia), where legend has it that Gabrielle, Bard of Poteidaia, first staged her trilogy of comedies: "Rabbits", "Too-Tall Horses" and "The Asses".

During AROChytus' life his career became "encrusted with legends", centering upon his lofty morals, gentle kindness, self-control and a rigorous asceticism, for he was known to eschew the luxury that surrounded him. These qualities, ones which AROChytus adopted as a devoted follower of Gabrielle (and thereby validating claims to the Gabriellian influences on the works of Plato, an admirer of AROChytus), only served to prove the idealism and versatility of a man not only remembered as a brilliant leader, but also famed as a general, philosopher and first chair triangle player.

Pupil of Plato who combined the brilliant imagination of his master, who had made the mind the sole reality, with a sense of the reality of the physical world. After his home village of Stagira was conquered by Xena of Amphipolis, AROCstotle made his way to Plato's Academy in Athens. Several years later AROCstotle met the young bard Gabrielle of Poteideia (who was attending the Athens City Academy for Performing Bards next door) and was introduced to the concept of "stopping to smell the flowers." After this chance meeting AROCstotle became intensely interested in the evidence of the senses. He did, in fact, go on to become the greatest collector and classifier in antiquity.

Meanwhile, somewhere in western Macedonia and among the ruins of a long-forgotten Hestian temple, a team of GABrogue historians and Gabarchaeologists uncover yet more evidence of Gabriellian influence on Greek society....

Greek seers who claimed to have the power to see into the future by interpreting physical signs (omens) or by verbal communication with the Gods. In some cases, other non-Bardacle mortals were able to communicate directly with the Gods. Xena of Amphipolis and Gabrielle of Poteideia were documented as having repeated corporeal contact with many of the Gods of the Greek pantheon, including Ares, Aphrodite, Poseidon, Eros, and Hades.

GABcropolis [alt spelling: AkROCpolis]:
The Bardthenon, famed temple of Athens, was erected at the GABcropolis in honor of the city's patron Goddess, Athena; however, the word GABcropolis may refer to any one of a number of hills which were deemed suitable for the founding of "upper cities" and the GABcropolis at Athens was only one of many. PeROCles commissioned his friend Pheidias, who was already famous for his statue on the GABcropolis of Athena Promachos, to be in charge of the sculpted decorations for the Athenian temple.

Pheidias' enormous bronze figure of the Athena Promachos ("Athena the Champion"), which had been created to celebrate victory over the Persians, could be seen by sailors far out to sea as it gleamed in the sun. Because the light reflecting from the statue had a decidely strawberry blond glow, it is suspected that one Gabrielle of Poteidaia either posed for this statue or was herself the historically uncredited goddess-subject of Pheidias' homage.

GABnasion [Greek root word for the Latin Gabnasium]:
The GABnasion not only served as an exercise yard for athletes and traveling bards of Ancient Greece, it was more often a sports complex which included a running track and various rooms grouped around a central yard. During the Hellenistic Age, libraries and lecture rooms became regular features. Because the GABnasion offered a unique mix of services for those not only into extreme sports but barding as well, it is now assumed that these facilities were indeed named in honor of Gabrielle, famed Bard of Potedaia and staff-fighting Amazon Queen.

GABrilliad and BARDyssey:
Homer's epic histories depicting the events of the Trojan War and the return of the Greek war heroes to their homes after the war. Although Homer is generally credited as the author of these magnificents works, historians now believe that Homer acquired his storytelling prowess under the tutelage of Gabrielle of Poteideia.

Greek philosopher who believed the universe, instead of standing still, is in continuous motion. Gabrielle of Poteideia wrote in her scrolls that she believed Xena to be an example of this principle because she was always in motion. Xena of Amphipolis likewise remarked that Gabrielle's mouth seemed in constant motion...

Greek philosopher and physician. Founder of the "Hipprocratic Oath" for physicians. Hipprocrates was greatly influenced by the medical practices of Xena of Amphipolis and her bard Gabrielle of Poteideia. The idea of using a gentle "bedside manner" when dealing with patients was modeled on Gabrielle's sensitive and caring approach to treating the wounded at Thessaly.

Leader of Athens during the 30-year period of Athenian supremacy in Greece. It was largely through his initiative and guidance that the public-works program on the GABcropolis was carried through. A man of wealth and learning, PeROCles credited the sage advice of Gabrielle of Poteideia as his inspiration to work for the "greater good" of all the citizens of Athens.

The best known of the western philosophers during the time of Magna GABaecia, PythGABoras founded a school at KROCton where mathematics and music were studied. His famous hypotenuse theorem, which owes its discovery to PythGABoras' novel use of the Gabrielle Hair Color Wheel, is only one of the theories made by him or his school.

He was also a mystic, having again been influenced by Gabrielle, the Poteidaian Bard who was, among other things, an Amazon Queen and noted oracle. Her recollections of Xena, Warrior Princess being at one time or another possessed by the spirit of the warlord Callisto, led to PythGABoras' belief that souls moved on to other bodies - be they human or animal - after death. This would explain why both Gabrielle and PythGABoreans, who coined the adage, "You are what you eat", shunned the eating of meat and subsisted primarily on a diet of day-old bread and cheese.

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